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Bush to Appoint Jimmy Carter Ambassador to Hell

by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace · 19 Comments · · Print This Story Print This Story

(2008-04-15) — As former President Jimmy Carter meets this week with Hamas leaders in the West Bank and Syria, sources at the State Department say President George Bush will soon honor Mr. Carter’s decades of freelance diplomacy by appointing him as the first U.S. Ambassador to Hell.

“Bush just wants Carter to go there,” said an unnamed State Department source, “and to set up an embassy, and try to be a good listener, open a communication channel, find common ground.”

Mr. Carter has said his discussions with prominent Hamas member Nasser al-Shaer today and with the group’s exiled leader Khaled Mashaal on Friday will seek to discover areas of flexibility on the part of the terrorist organization which exists to destroy Israel.

Mr. Bush reportedly chose Mr. Carter as U.S. Ambassador to Hell because it’s a post that will allow the aging former president “to just keep on doing what he’s been doing on the foreign relations front for many years.”

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Tags: Global News · U.S. News

19 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Fred Sinclair // Apr 15, 2008 at 5:34 am

    Perhaps HillBilly Inc. and B. Hussein Obama are where they are for the sole purpose of providing a yardstick by which Jimmy Carter will look good.

    Heirborn Ranger

  • 2 camojack // Apr 15, 2008 at 5:51 am

    “Bush just wants Carter to go there…”

    No doubt.

    Not only that, but if the self-proclaimed “Born Again Christian” doesn’t change his ways, he’ll make it there, too.

  • 3 Never Yet Melted » New Diplomatic Role For Carter // Apr 15, 2008 at 5:59 am

    [...] Scrappleface: [...]

  • 4 JamesonLewis3rd // Apr 15, 2008 at 6:06 am

    God Bless America

  • 5 RedPepper // Apr 15, 2008 at 6:14 am

    Don’t do it, W !

    It’s not smart to annoy Satan.

  • 6 Hawkeye // Apr 15, 2008 at 6:34 am

    Carter’s a helluva guy doin’ a helluva job, ain’t he? :smile:

    abandoned popular — support… even the Europeans won’t talk with Hamas.

  • 7 gafisher // Apr 15, 2008 at 7:08 am

    He brought the country there in a handbasket once.

  • 8 woodnwheel // Apr 15, 2008 at 7:19 am

    camojack re. #2: Amen.

    Scott: Thanks for making me nearly fall out of my chair laughing at the headline! ;)

  • 9 Maggie // Apr 15, 2008 at 7:31 am

    All in good time,all in good time!

    “It is appointed unto man once to die and after this, the judgement”.

  • 10 Pseudo-Polymath » Blog Archive » Tuesday Highlights // Apr 15, 2008 at 8:15 am

    [...] Mr Carter be appointed Ambassador? And related, on [...]

  • 11 Daily Pundit » Perfect For Him // Apr 15, 2008 at 8:15 am

    [...] Bush to Appoint Jimmy Carter Ambassador to Hell (2008-04-15) — As former President Jimmy Carter meets this week with Hamas leaders in the West Bank and Syria, sources at the State Department say President George Bush will soon honor Mr. Carter’s decades of freelance diplomacy by appointing him as the first U.S. Ambassador to Hell. [...]

  • 12 A Call to Censure « Buttle’s World // Apr 15, 2008 at 8:50 am

    [...] There is, on the other hand, a more direct approach. [...]

  • 13 gafisher // Apr 15, 2008 at 12:28 pm

    After Palestine, Hell might seem rather appealing.

  • 14 da Bunny // Apr 15, 2008 at 4:29 pm

    I imagine that anti-Semitic Jimmy Carter will find quite a lot of “common ground” with the permanent residents of Hell. He’ll fit in very well there amongst “his kind.”

  • 15 onlineanalyst // Apr 15, 2008 at 5:24 pm

    Jimmuh Catarrh (*spit*) continues to spend his dotage, reminding us all that he was the worst president evah. The legacy lives on.

    Is the purpose of this trip to expand his mission of building a ME habitat for inhumanity? Is he donating to the Arafat AIDS society?

    Whatever happened to the Logan Act?

    WV: delegates Bronx — The Denver branch of the NY zoo where the Dhims will meet and greet … and riot come late summer

  • 16 mindknumbed kid // Apr 15, 2008 at 5:30 pm

    Coming soon: Jiimy Carter’s Roasted Peanuts - “Roasted using authentic hellfire”, move over Planters!

  • 17 TRAVELS WITH JIMMY « Islamo Fasicst watch // Apr 15, 2008 at 9:31 pm

    [...] UPDATE: Somehow this seems perfectly appropriate. [...]

  • 18 debass // Apr 15, 2008 at 10:07 pm

    This is the ultimate in job security. Create a mess in the ME, and then spend the rest of your life pretending to fix it. What a POS.

  • 19 nathanr|ca » Bush to Appoint Jimmy Carter Ambassador to Hell // Jun 6, 2008 at 5:32 am

    [...] ScrappleFace This entry was posted by Nathan on April 17th, 2008 at 1:15 and is filed under American Politics, [...]

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