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Al-Sadr Unveils New Plan to Humiliate Bush

by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace · 45 Comments · · Print This Story Print This Story

(2007-05-25) — After several months in hiding, reportedly in Iran, radical Shiite cleric Moktada al-Sadr emerged south of Baghdad yesterday to tell his Mahdi Army to avoid shooting at Iraqi forces because the U.S. uses that as a justification to continue its illegal occupation of Iraq.

In a fiery speech to the faithful, Mr. al-Sadr said he is committed to “removing every last excuse that the Bush administration has for keeping infidel troops on Allah’s blessed soil. We will humiliate George Bush, forcing him to retreat because his troops have become utterly useless.”

In addition to a ceasefire against Iraqi troops, the Islamic cleric’s fatwa seeks to demoralize American forces by demanding that Shiites …
- Avoid shooting anyone for any reason
- Register to vote and respect the Iraqi constitution and governing authorities
- Locate and disable all previously-deployed roadside bombs
- Re-shelve all explosive vests and large caliber automatic weapons in their original locations at local mosques
- Release any living hostages into the custody of the United Nations
- Patrol communities to pick up garbage, repair buildings and roads, and restore utility services
- Stop ranting like maniacs and go back to work
- Take a moment today to thank a U.S. soldier, Marine or airman for your freedom

“We will brutally cut off Bush’s rationale for staying in Iraq,” said Mr. al-Sadr. “Our day of triumph is at hand. The Great Satan will march back home in tickertape parades of shame. Allah be praised.”

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Tags: Global News

45 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Libby Gone // May 25, 2007 at 12:32 pm

    Great work Scott,sir!
    Thought about issueing a missing persons report on you. Now we all understand you were on a covert mission to flush out Mookie Sadder.

  • 2 JamesonLewis3rd // May 25, 2007 at 12:41 pm

    God Bless America
    Thank God for our Courageous Troops

  • 3 Shelly // May 25, 2007 at 1:06 pm

    Now that’s devious. And it actually could work.

  • 4 Shelly // May 25, 2007 at 1:10 pm

    Redpepper, your slogan and motto on the last thread are hilarious!

  • 5 WetWorx » Blog Archive » He just needs to coordinate with the democrats. // May 25, 2007 at 2:33 pm

    [...] MOQTADA UNVEILS A NEW PLAN TO HUMILIATE BUSH and secure a U.S. withdrawal. It just might work! [...]

  • 6 JamesonLewis3rd // May 25, 2007 at 2:43 pm

    Personally, I wonder why al-Sadr isn’t worm food.

  • 7 Snooper // May 25, 2007 at 2:51 pm

    Scott Ott For President!…

    From ScrappleFace Scott ALWAYS has a unique take on “things” and he is on top of issues.(2007-05-25) — After several months in hiding, reportedly in Iran, radical
    Shiite cleric Moktada al-Sadr emerged south of Baghdad yesterday to tell his Mahdi…

  • 8 JamesonLewis3rd // May 25, 2007 at 2:51 pm

    B. Hussein O’Bam-a thinks, apparently, that if he uses the phrase “civil war” enough times it will become reality. Stupid.

  • 9 RedPepper // May 25, 2007 at 3:11 pm

    JL3 #6: Jameson, Mookie can’t wait to become a martyr and get his 72 virgins.

    Won’t he be surprised when he gets 72 clones of Rosie O’Donnell ?

  • 10 JamesonLewis3rd // May 25, 2007 at 3:19 pm


  • 11 Ms RightWing, Ink // May 25, 2007 at 3:30 pm

    Hmm, why didn’t someone think about that earlier. Cindy, you have a new platform. Make them go to work and shut up!

  • 12 camojack // May 25, 2007 at 4:26 pm

    Fiery speech…like THIS?!

  • 13 antodav // May 25, 2007 at 4:53 pm

    Camojack, that only happened because somebody lit up a cigarette around Al Gore while he was giving a speech. I’m not sure that’s exactly what Scott meant.

    Yup. Sadr is completely right though. After that devious plot is implemented, President Bush will have no reason to keep U.S. troops in Iraq anymore (except maybe to defend against Iran). I think it just might work! What can we possibly do to stop it?!

    Oh, I know. Elect a Democratic president in 2008. That ought to screw up al-Sadr’s plans really well.

  • 14 joehill // May 25, 2007 at 4:54 pm

    The comments, mostly smart alecky, do nothing really to note that That Bad Guy knows that the US is losing in Iraq and that if he stays the course (know that one?) we will leave. After all, we gave them democracy and now they seem to want us out…why not gun down Al S? since we think him no good? Why should we let him tell his people not to do harm? Glenn Beck would give him what for!

  • 15 JamesonLewis3rd // May 25, 2007 at 5:55 pm


  • 16 EXT // May 25, 2007 at 6:48 pm


    Reads much as though written by an honors level graduate of The Washington, D.C. Public School System. Where they teach that “satire” is a bicycle tire purchased on a Saturday.

  • 17 Mocky Moktada « The Lonely Sandpiper // May 25, 2007 at 7:06 pm

    [...] Moktada al-Sadr has a new plan to get us out of Iraq. [...]

  • 18 Fred Sinclair // May 25, 2007 at 8:00 pm

    RedPepper - #9. 72 clones of Rosie? Whew! I’ve read that the 72 virgins is a mis-translation. The corrected translation reads, “a 72 year old virgin”

    The corrected translation was done by Apple using their latest “Big Mac” so the accuracy of the translation is beyond question.

    The probability is that the 72 year old virgin will be a clone of the Wicked Witch of the West or Rosie O’Donell but then that constitutes a redundancy.

    Someone should leak this to the NYT so as to reach the Islamofascist ASAP!!!

    Heirborn Ranger

  • 19 gafisher // May 26, 2007 at 6:02 am

    Re #9 & 18: If there’s even one Rosie it’s obviously not Heaven.

  • 20 RedPepper // May 26, 2007 at 6:58 am

    camojack #12: Intriguing image, camojack!

    I guess this is strong evidence that the new new new … new alGore (Version 13.4?) has been converted to run on ethanol

  • 21 Ms RightWing, Ink // May 26, 2007 at 7:10 am

    Good morning each and everyone from within the sounds of the big mighty Scrapple broadcast signal. The Lord has blessed us with a beautiful spring morning here in the once dirty old factory town.

    The thermometer reads sixty six degrees, a bit overcast and the birds are singing as though their lives depended on it. I’m sitting here taking it all in and just plain thankful that I don’t have to wake up to a “wife” (i don’t know how to make those lines through the words) like Rosy.

    My bed would never support the likes of her (nor could I) and likely she would give my cat, Mr Rags, a heart attack.

  • 22 gafisher // May 26, 2007 at 7:35 am

    RedPepper #20: Teddy Kennedy’s been running on ethanol for decades; Gore’s a latecomer.

  • 23 Maggie // May 26, 2007 at 8:36 am

    Good Morning all, from beautiful and sunny North Carolina.Everything is coming up “Rosie”.……..Hilarious.

  • 24 onlineanalyst // May 26, 2007 at 9:14 am

    We can assume then that Mookie Sadr hadn’t spent the last four months undergoing an extreme makeover of an attitude adjustment, seeing to some badly needed dental work, or attending Weight Watchers’ ® meetings?

    OT: This would have been the weekend for the much-desired Scrappleface Rally or Scrapplefest had the date suited the majority.

    Labor Day weekend (the alternate date) will approach just as rapidly, so it is important to plan ahead. Contact mig, camojack, or me for housing options and details or direction information. (Or I can re-post in early June.)

    In the meantime, let us remember with gratitude our fallen American heroes during this weekend.

  • 25 JamesonLewis3rd // May 26, 2007 at 10:19 am


  • 26 mig // May 26, 2007 at 10:52 am

    It’s a great day here in the southland. Healing Fields at The Battleship NC again… Loving it!

  • 27 nylecoj // May 26, 2007 at 11:54 am

    Thank-you for the link at #25 JL3

  • 28 mig // May 26, 2007 at 12:16 pm

    May no soldier go unloved.
    May no soldier walk alone.
    May no soldier! be forg otten,
    Until they all come home.

  • 29 Beerme // May 26, 2007 at 12:24 pm


    Got my cabin reserved at the state park and am looking forward to a Scrapplefest. Hope to see many of you there!

    Happy Memorial Day, all!

    Does anyone else wonder at the difficulty in coming up with that groaner, Saturday tire=satire? Perhaps “sad ire” would explain it?

  • 30 its-just-me // May 26, 2007 at 2:49 pm

    Re: #14…
    You gotta be kiddin!
    Do you think that it’s really the “occupier’s” fault that the Sunnis & Shiites are killing each other??
    Do you have any memory prior to George Bush (father or son)?
    The Shiites have been bullying/killing their “brothers” (see Sadr’s speech) for a LONG TIME.
    Or maybe the guy’s just spent too much time on the blamebush website…

  • 31 its-just-me // May 26, 2007 at 2:56 pm

    Also Re #14:
    Obviously, yeah - the guy knows the US is losing - that’s why he came out of hiding (brave guy, that Sadr) to rally his troops to victory (”don’t be unseccarily mean to the people we’ve been killing up until now”)…


  • 32 its-just-me // May 26, 2007 at 2:57 pm

    I mean “unnecessarily”

  • 33 Ms RightWing, Ink // May 26, 2007 at 7:36 pm

    All is quiet on the Scrapple front

  • 34 JamesonLewis3rd // May 26, 2007 at 8:10 pm

    God Bless You, Ms RightWing, Ink.

  • 35 Ms RightWing, Ink // May 26, 2007 at 11:06 pm


    It seems that he has in a very surprising way. Very surprising indeed-but He is God and therefore blesses me in ways much more than I deserve.

    Still, I thank you for thinking of me :-)

  • 36 INJUSTICE PREVAILS // May 26, 2007 at 11:32 pm




  • 37 nylecoj // May 27, 2007 at 1:41 am

    re #36 hopefully nothing.

  • 38 nylecoj // May 27, 2007 at 2:16 am

    Well on second thought perhaps they could find a way to make it easier to get a refinery built in this country, I am sure that some previous congress caused some of that problem.

  • 39 Ms RightWing, Ink // May 27, 2007 at 8:40 am

    re: He-He-He. It seems that He. Sorry about “he.”

  • 40 Maggie // May 27, 2007 at 8:58 am

    ….and your point is?

  • 41 Darthmeister // May 27, 2007 at 6:01 pm

    Other than the fact that the claim 650,000 Iraqi civilians have been killed is completely bogus, whatever number the left wishes to float out there in yet another one of their patented lies will always ignore the reality that 98% of Iraqi civilians have been the result of Muslim on Muslim violence. This is a clear indictment of the “religion of peace” and not the nobel attempt of American troops to liberate the Iraqi people from tribalistic hatreds that have been fanned by the Islamic theology of jihadism.

  • 42 Darthmeister // May 27, 2007 at 6:10 pm

    Price of gas? Why don’t we let Congress nationalize all the oil companies like the highly successful leftist Hugo Chavez. That ought to bring the price of gasoline down and keep it there permanently despite whatever market realities exist. A dollar-a-gallon gas is great if you could find any at that price because already demand is outstripping supplies. Which would you rather have, a supply of gasoline at $3.50 a gallon or empty pumps selling at a dollar-a-gallon?

    People don’t realize that in a free market when there are tight supplies of any product higher prices will tend to discourage hoarding or further waste. That’s why in emergencies the free market responds by raising the cost, of let’s say double-A batteries. Otherwise the first people in the store will buy up all the batteries and leave others without batteries. In liberal-land form always trumps substance because liberals have been spoilt by the plenty of a free market system and they’ve convinced themselves that’s the natural order of things. They want to kill the goose that lays the golden egg … or at least regulate it to death. I hate paying high prices for gas too, SO LET’S GET THE ENVIRONMENTALIST WHACKOS OFF THE BACK OF THE OIL COMPANIES AND LET THEM BUILD MORE REFINERIES AND DRILL MORE OIL WELLS.

  • 43 Darthmeister // May 27, 2007 at 8:57 pm

    Democrats unveil “PLAN FOR VICTORY IN IRAQ”
    Yeah, let the Muslim terrorists win.

  • 44 Pros and Cons » Iraq, from up close and personal, all the way out to the satellite view - appropriate Memorial Day Content in present tense // May 29, 2007 at 2:41 pm

    [...] UPDATE: Here’s Scott Ott on the good news involving the returned buut suddenly pacific Muqtada “Mookie” al Sadr. [...]

  • 45 Scott Ott For President! « Freedom Ain’t Free // Jun 9, 2007 at 9:46 pm

    [...] From ScrappleFace Scott ALWAYS has a unique take on “things” and he is on top of issues. [...]

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