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Democrats Unveil ‘Contract with San Francisco’

by Scott Ott · 188 Comments

(2006-11-03) — With just days to go before national elections, Democrats in Congress today unveiled a comprehensive vision for America’s future, dubbed the ‘Contract with San Francisco.’

Presumptive House Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi, at a secret news conference in an undisclosed location, said, “This is a vision that springs from the heartland of the new America, and we intend to take these San Francisco values out to the Bible-belt, red-state fringes of the South and Midwest.”

“What’s good for San Francisco is good for the nation,” she said, “And it’s about time our country got back to the fundamentals which shaped a generation of trans-decent folks living here in America’s garter belt.”

Rep. Pelosi, who surfaced today thanks to an Amber Alert when a Starbucks barista recognized her face from a milk carton, said, “These ideas come from the down-home, spritzer-and-brie citizens who have built our postmodern culture on a rock-solid foundation of tolerance, diversity, flexible morality, self-esteem, hyphenated phrases and large grants from the National Endowment for the Arts.”

Rep. Pelosi did not distribute copies of the Contract with San Francisco to reporters.

“These ideas transcend the subjectivity of the printed word and cannot be captured on paper,” she said, “but they constitute a living document that dwells in the hearts of those who believe, and is continually refreshed to reflect the mood of the nation and desires of the individual.”

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Tags: Politics · U.S. News

188 responses so far ↓

  • 1 RedPepper // Nov 3, 2006 at 8:27 am

    God help America!

  • 2 Inoperable Terran » “San Francisco values” // Nov 3, 2006 at 8:32 am

    […] Scott Ott reveals Nancy Pelosi’s plans if the Donks win. Posted by Ian S. in […]

  • 3 onlineanalyst // Nov 3, 2006 at 8:35 am

    Nine out of ten jihadists agree with Ms Nancy and her “Contract on America.

    “Of course Americans should vote Democrat,” Jihad Jaara, a senior member of the Al Aqsa Martyrs Brigades terror group and the infamous leader of the 2002 siege of Bethlehem’s Church of the Nativity, told WND.

    “This is why American Muslims will support the Democrats, because there is an atmosphere in America that encourages those who want to withdraw from Iraq. It is time that the American people support those who want to take them out of this Iraqi mud,” said Jaara, speaking to WND from exile in Ireland, where he was sent as part of an internationally brokered deal that ended the church siege.

    Check out the prior thread for explosive information at the Nu Yuck Slymz about the Saddam/WMD connection. Talk about having a Kerry Moment.

  • 4 Darthmeister // Nov 3, 2006 at 8:35 am

    I’d like to put a contract out on Sodom and Gomorrah on the Pacific, but God told me no.

    Something about the time is still not ripe for the fullness of iniquity to be richly rewarded.

  • 5 Scott Ott // Nov 3, 2006 at 8:37 am

    Democrats Unveil ‘Contract with San Francisco’…

    by Scott Ott(2006-11-03) — With just days to go before national elections, Democrats in Congress today unveiled a comprehensive vision for America’s future, dubbed the ‘Contract with San Francisco.’Presumptive House Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi…

  • 6 wildhowd // Nov 3, 2006 at 8:41 am

    Bush lied: there are no WMD in San Francisco

  • 7 RedPepper // Nov 3, 2006 at 8:43 am

    Speaking of “tolerance” and “diversity” …

    A Saudi court has sentenced a gang rape victim to 90 lashes of the whip because she was alone in a car with a man to whom she was not married.

    Full story here .

    Gotta love that Sharia

  • 8 RedPepper // Nov 3, 2006 at 8:46 am

    Sorry … not sure why that link didn’t work.

  • 9 onlineanalyst // Nov 3, 2006 at 8:52 am

    Methinks Ms.Peloozi is spending her current disappearing act at the Golden Door Spa® these days (putting on a “new face” for the Dems to “lift” their “sagging spirits”) rather than with her constituency at the Golden Gate

  • 10 camojack // Nov 3, 2006 at 8:59 am

    There are more things “shaky” about San Francisco than the tectonics, I’d say…

  • 11 JamesonLewis3rd // Nov 3, 2006 at 8:59 am

    I think it’s almost comical that the “leaders” of the Democrat party are hiding out (sitting in the lotus position, thinking heavy metaphysical thoughts, basking in the soft light of aroma-therapy candles) in bunkers somewhere so as not to discourage voters.

  • 12 red satellites // Nov 3, 2006 at 9:45 am

    Good morning Scrapplers…

    The possibility of Nancy Pelosi as leader of the House…is more frightening than any Halloween costume I’ve seen or worn- EVER.

  • 13 upnorthlurkin // Nov 3, 2006 at 10:30 am

    OLA, I wonder if we’ll recognize her after the latest spa treatment?!
    Scott - I think you have this nuance thing down! “trans-decent folks living here in America’s garter belt.” And just what we need…yet another living, document dwelling in their hearts…must be right there next to the infamous plan sKerry has!

  • 14 JamesonLewis3rd // Nov 3, 2006 at 10:38 am

    O’Brien: “Let’s talk about Kerry’s apology? Story over in your mind?”

    Snow: “Well, I suppose. The question is whether it’s over in your mind. You’re the one asking about it.”


  • 15 RedPepper // Nov 3, 2006 at 11:18 am

    JL3: apparently, these guys find it inspiring to address a college crowd …

    “There has never been an American army as violent and murderous as the one in Iraq.” — journalist Seymour Hersh at Montreal’s McGill University, November 1st 2006.

  • 16 Liger // Nov 3, 2006 at 11:22 am

    5 More US Soldiers Died in Iraq. 56 Bullet-Riddled Bodies found.


    What’s worse: Texas values or San Fran Values?

  • 17 Darthmeister // Nov 3, 2006 at 11:22 am

    RedPepper, where’s the feminist outrage? Oh, I forgot, Islam is a “religion of peace” and celebrates the fundamental rights of women. Clearly it was for her own good that she was beaten. What a harlot for sitting in the back seat of a car with a man who wasn’t her husband. Of course Christian fundamentalists string up women and beat them, too.

  • 18 Darthmeister // Nov 3, 2006 at 11:24 am

    Lieger, do you know the definition of war or are you just playing stupid? Ooops, sorry, you don’t have to play at that.

  • 19 Liger // Nov 3, 2006 at 11:29 am

    Can you do it?

  • 20 JamesonLewis3rd // Nov 3, 2006 at 11:37 am

    I guess it thinks we actually click on its links.

  • 21 Darthmeister // Nov 3, 2006 at 11:41 am

    Oooops, four more liberals indicted on voter fraud charges.

    And ooops, The New York Times let it slip that Saddam’s regime was indeed in material if not actual violation of UN Resolution 1441 and twelve other resolutions. Thank you for this November surprise NYT.

    And the big loser this election cycle, despite which Party wins the respective Congressional Houses, is the liberal Old Media, an institution that is overpopulated by partisan liberal hacks who have overplayed their hand.

    BTW, Howeird Dean was videotaped recently wearing his American flag pin upside down. What a moron.

  • 22 Darthmeister // Nov 3, 2006 at 11:50 am

    Ooooops, over 70 Democrats (and that’s just a start) either indicted or under investigation by law enforcement.

    Bet you can’t say all their names in one breath either, Lieger.

    But we already know that liberal and Democrat prosecutors and activists are using the court system to to settle political scores with Republicans like Tom DeLay and Senator Frist.

  • 23 Liger // Nov 3, 2006 at 11:53 am


    For all of your trolling the internet to find nutjobs who support your view, did you read the NYT story?

    The documents are from before 1991. The documents were posted at the urging of congressional republicans. Is this the same party that claims it can protect me?

  • 24 Liger // Nov 3, 2006 at 11:56 am

    From the liberal bastion known as the Wall Street Journal:

    “there is a widespread sense that Republicans in Congress have lost their way, drifting into the same abuses they had pledged to end, helps explain why many, like Rep. J.D. Hayworth (R-AZ) are in trouble. The Republicans’ 1994 ‘Contract with America’ vowed to shrink government, balance the budget and limit members’ terms. The Republicans said they would end Congress’s ‘cycle of scandal and disgrace.’ That contract is now broken, conservatives say, as the former rebels have morphed into an establishment clinging to power. The national debt now nears $9 trillion. Rather than curb entitlement programs’ growth, Republicans created a new one — Medicare’s prescription-drug benefit — and rejected President Bush’s call to overhaul Social Security. Their original vow to kick the pork barrel has given way to gorging on ‘earmarks’ — funds lawmakers specifically set aside for special projects — in the annual appropriations bills. There have been a number of corruption probes.”

  • 25 JamesonLewis3rd // Nov 3, 2006 at 12:16 pm

    The assertion that all “[T]he documents are from before 1991″ is false.

  • 26 JamesonLewis3rd // Nov 3, 2006 at 12:33 pm


    “Among the dozens of documents in English were Iraqi reports written in the 1990’s and in 2002 for United Nations inspectors in charge of making sure Iraq abandoned its unconventional arms programs after the Persian Gulf war. Experts say that at the time, Mr. Hussein’s scientists were on the verge of building an atom bomb, as little as a year away.” (emphasis mine)

    The Persian Gulf War took place August 2, 1990 – February 28, 1991.

  • 27 Sick of Colorado // Nov 3, 2006 at 12:42 pm

    Liger, I just have 47 things to say to you!!

    The problem with the left is that they have a 3rd graders ability to interpret facts. For example, the 50 plus Iraqis found brutally murdered weren’t murdered because of Texas Values or because of the values of San Fran. They were murdered because of the values of Islamic Terrorists. I don’t know you but I am sure the words, Bush is Hitler, have come out of your mouth once or twice. That is about as accurate as saying that rap music is entertainment. Why is every death attributed to Bush and the terrorists just get a free pass. Either the left thinks that they are freedom fighters or they just see it as Muslim nuts acting like Muslim nuts. Regardless of what you think about our reasoning to go into war. Which by the way, what about Bill Clinton and his statements regarding Saddam having WMD’s. What about John Kerry, a member of the Senate Intelligence Committee, voting for the war. Then when the poo poo hits the fan they both do an about face. I want you to imagine what it would be like if the Insurgents would just stop their violence and agrression or “Freedom Fighting”, and let Iraq live in peace. The Terrorists are like Hitler, they would rather die than have Iraq be a free and democratic country. Iraq could settle down and live with a worthless red tape riddled government just as we do - wouldn’t that be great. It is this same terrorist mentality that Iraqis had to live with under Saddam, even though he put a legitimate face to it. Here in the good ol’ USA you can camp out in front of the President’s Ranch and tell him how worthless he is. In Saddam’s Iraq you would have lost your head for that. When will people realize that it is Militant Islam that is the problem, you would think that rioting over an offensive cartoon would have been a clue.

    Pope Mel Gibson the I

  • 28 Anonymous // Nov 3, 2006 at 12:51 pm

    For all of us who wondered what the real joke was Kerry speech. Check it out in this piece ( I still don’t see a joke. By the way the real joke is the New York Times. How many botched comments do you need before the general public writes you off?

  • 29 Liger // Nov 3, 2006 at 12:56 pm

    Moral relativism doesn’t cut it. Just because Saddam was a bad guy doesn’t mean that Georgieboy gets a pass.

    If the fight against “islamofacists” is so important, why isn’t Bush committing more forces? Why is he offering tax cuts to the rich rather than asking people to sacrifice? Is it wise policy to allow our troops to die, five here-four there, while we pursue a strategy for “victory”? Nevermind that the war has created more terrorists and made us less safe.

    I’ve got to hand it to you though, you all are true believers. I’ve said it before: scrappleface is a unique phenomenon, kinda like the Galapagos islands. You’re so isolated that you’ve been evolving without regard to the reality-based world.

    You’ll all get you comeuppance on Nov. 7.

  • 30 RedPepper // Nov 3, 2006 at 1:23 pm

    Seymour Hersh really outdid himself up at McGill!

    “If Americans knew the full extent of U.S. criminal conduct, they would receive returning Iraqi veterans as they did Vietnam veterans,” Hersh said.

    I assume you meant - spit on them! - right, Sy?

  • 31 Maggie // Nov 3, 2006 at 1:56 pm

    Nancy Pelosi’s picture must have been on a carton of ‘goat’s milk’.

  • 32 ScottOtt // Nov 3, 2006 at 1:59 pm

    This is a test.

  • 33 Scott Ott // Nov 3, 2006 at 2:00 pm

    Here’s another test.

  • 34 Just Ranting // Nov 3, 2006 at 2:01 pm

    Did we pass?

  • 35 Just Ranting // Nov 3, 2006 at 2:02 pm

    Geez, more and more paperwork..

  • 36 Just Ranting // Nov 3, 2006 at 2:03 pm

    True or False, multiple choice or essay?

  • 37 Anonymous // Nov 3, 2006 at 2:05 pm

    Dear Li-er,

    I have taken the liberty of editing your post #29. I think you REALLY meant it to say:

    Moral relativism is what we Dumbo-crats are all about. Just because Sadaam was a misunderstood tyrant doesn’t mean that United Nations can pass resolutions authorizing force to remove him.

    If the fight against “terrorists” is so important, why don’t we all simply support and encourage Bush to destroy them? Why is he focusing his fiscal policies on ways of improving the economy rather than Democratic ideas of destroying it? Is it wise policy to allow our troops to be ridiculed by Democratic party leaders like Kerry while they risk their lives preserving the freedoms we enjoy? Nevermind that the war has resulted in no further attacks on our homeland and has taken the fight to their backyard.

    I’ve got to hand it to you though, you are all faithful believers. I’ve said it before: scrappleface is much more entertaining than the trash shown in Hollywood. In fact, it’s a refreshing phenomenom, kinda like the Galapagos islands. You’re so focused on truth and high moral standards that you’ve become a light amid the darkness of this reality-less world.

    You’ll all get your comeuppance when the Lord Jesus returns and takes you out of this world so the rest of us can have seven awesome years of peace.

  • 38 Just Ranting // Nov 3, 2006 at 2:07 pm

    The solution is:

    Monica, in a blue dress, with a cigar!

    No wait, that was the adult version of the game Clue. Nevermind.

  • 39 Ms RightWing, Ink // Nov 3, 2006 at 2:09 pm

    In Minnesota ooops is pronounced uffda

  • 40 Maggie // Nov 3, 2006 at 2:20 pm

    This is NOT a test!

  • 41 JamesonLewis3rd // Nov 3, 2006 at 2:25 pm

    I didn’t get a chance to study!?!

  • 42 Scott Ott // Nov 3, 2006 at 2:27 pm

    [Editor’s Note: If you still have issues related to posting comments please click your name just above the comments box that says “Logged in as My Name”. On your profile page, you may…
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    Please send us a note if you continue to experience technical difficulties. We regret the inconvenience that he recent so-called upgrade has caused, and thank you for your patience. The Management.]

  • 43 RedPepper // Nov 3, 2006 at 2:27 pm

    This life is a test.

    It is only a test.

    Had this been a real life, you would have received instructions telling you where to go and what to do …

  • 44 Scott Ott // Nov 3, 2006 at 3:10 pm

    [Editor’s Note: Upon further review, our vast IT staff has discovered that countless dozens of ScrappleFace commenters were listed as ‘Premium Subscribers’ rather than just ‘Subscribers’ and, oddly enough, that classification made them second-class citizens. The records have been updated, and you should be able to post now. If this is not true, please email us: If you would like to feel like a ‘Premium Subscriber’ without any privileges, feel free to make a contribution using the PayPal button at the top right of this page.]

  • 45 Liger // Nov 3, 2006 at 3:20 pm

    Oops. It appears that Haggard did call the male escort for “massages” and meth. Don’t worry, though, the good christian threw it out before he smoked it.

    Ha ha.

    The hypocrisy of the moral crusaders is HIGH-larious! First Bob Bennet, then Rush “10,000 Oxycontin” Limbaugh, now this. Priceless.

  • 46 wildhowd // Nov 3, 2006 at 3:35 pm

    I’m so confused. The words moral and Democrat in the same sentence.

  • 47 Shelly // Nov 3, 2006 at 3:36 pm

    I guess Liger is just having a tantrum over the news that Republicans are now likely to hold both Foley’s and Delay’s seats, not to mention take one in Maryland. He realizes what that means about the race overall.

  • 48 Liger // Nov 3, 2006 at 3:45 pm

    Wildhowd: where did I use the words “moral” and “democrat” in the same sentence? As a side note, it is not the democrats that seem to be struggling with ethics (see: Delay, Foley, Hastert, Abramoff, etc)

    Shelly: Please tell me what this means about the race overall? Even if you do take these seats (unlikely), what good will that do when you lose the house?

    Denial, denial, denial…

  • 49 Shelly // Nov 3, 2006 at 4:48 pm

    Let me see if I can make this simple enough for you to understand. Maryland is a blue state. Steele is a Republican. The senators from Maryland have all been Democrats since the early 1970’s. The candidate in DeLay’s campaign is a write in. (That means the voters will have to take the time to write her name on the ballot, there won’t be any Republican name on the ballot. She won’t benefit from anyone who simply votes the straight ticket.) The Foley and DeLay scandals were supposed to keep conservatives home. It didn’t work. The American people are informed, and they know who they want in office. They are not motivated purely by hate as you are. They don’t need to visit a relatively happy blog and lamely attempt to sew misery. That you do is a sad comment about your life.

  • 50 Ms RightWing, Ink // Nov 3, 2006 at 5:05 pm


    Somewhere Beyond My Keybord
    United States, USA

    Dear Mr Scott Ott

    Until further notice I must remain a second class citizen. My dependency on government support has left me a bit, well, what one would consider, ahem, well below the poverty line.

    Not that I am complaining. I am just warning all those who are considering going to the polls on Tuesday, remember, one party chooses to keep you poor and living hand to hand and the second believes what you earn you keep and therefore has the opportunity to create wealth.

    Here’s drinking to a miserly SSI check and cheap government housing! Now I must go and see how the other half lives. Ta ta

  • 51 GnuCarSmell // Nov 3, 2006 at 5:22 pm

    “You know, “Premium Membership,” if you make the most of it, if you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, uh, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck in “Regular Unleaded Membership.”

  • 52 Maggie // Nov 3, 2006 at 5:23 pm

    Shelly re#49

    You must not waste your time or energy on these fly by night “bottom feeders”.Liager has been around here for a long time and sobers up enough to come up and post around election time.He,she or it will never,never,never understand.
    Isiah 5:21 “Woe unto them that are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight”.(kjv)

  • 53 The Great Santini // Nov 3, 2006 at 5:25 pm


    [Tune: “Love and Marriage”, music and lyrics by Sammy Cahn and Jimmy van Heusen, performed by Frank Sinatra and by many other artists;
    © 2006, Santini Serenades]

    Dems’ mind-meld with San Francisco—
    Starship Enterprise meets gay-blade disco
    Vagrants, raging quee-eens
    Where every day is Hallowee-een

    Hype gay marriage, hype gay marriage
    Normal mores San Fran Dems disparage
    Marry gay soul-brother
    Or lesbo main squeeze, if you’d ‘ruther

    San Fran Nan, Babs Boxer, DiFi
    Plus Gavin Newsome
    Four Horse-Faces of Apocalypse
    These nags are gruesome

    PC zealots, they’re best buddies
    With tenured Berkeley profs who teach Queer Studies
    Ask the local gentry
    The Castro’s famous for rear entry

    Hard-Left dogma is the Dems’ Koran
    Best don your burkhas
    San Francisco Holy Writ’s enforced
    By the Ninth Circus

    Dems’ values ape San Francisco’s
    Sporting Dykes on Bikes and body Crisco™
    If they win election
    They’ll tout NAMBLA predilection

    Cranial mold
    Lib’ral fool’s-gold
    SF Valhalla’s
    Moral squa-a-a-alor!

  • 54 Darthmeister // Nov 3, 2006 at 5:26 pm

    If the fight against “islamofacists” is so important, why isn’t Bush committing more forces?

    Because President Bush has communicated with U.S. military commanders in the various theaters of operations and they’ve told him that troop strength is adequate for the actionable intelligence and degree of cooperation they are getting from national military forces and police. Putting more American soldiers in the fray would merely increase the cost of operation and make easier targets for Islamofascists to hit … and then whiners like you would be quick to note how even more American soldiers are getting killed fighting the bad guys.

    Why is he offering tax cuts to the rich rather than asking people to sacrifice?

    President Bush has extended tax relief to middle-class Americans, too, WHO ACTUALLY PAY TAXES. The “rich” are actually paying a bigger share of personal income taxes than it did before tax cuts! And why do Americans have to be “asked” to sacrifice? If you feel that Americans should “sacrifice” (whatever you mean by that word), then by all means volunteer your “sacrifice” no one is stopping you, Liger. Lead the way if you really believe in what you are saying. If you mean give more money to government, THEN VOLUNTARILY GIVE YOU MONEY TO THE GOVERNMENT! Why wait for it to be coerced from you in the form of redistributive taxation?

    Is it wise policy to allow our troops to die, five here-four there, while we pursue a strategy for “victory”?

    In the annals of history, there has never been a war where “five here - four there” hadn’t died fighting evildoers. Would it be a wise policy to let five thousand soldiers here - four thousand there to die fighting another fascist ideology sixty years ago? I thought it was. History will vindicate President Bush.

    Nevermind that the war has created more terrorists and made us less safe.

    The war hasn’t “created” more terrorists. Islam has created more terrorists. Our resistance to Muslim atrocities is merely an opportunity for Islamic nutbags to come out of their closets of hate in hopes of making the world more receptive to a global caliphate. And how are we “less safe” when you really don’t believe Islamofascist pose an actual threat to American lives? That’s what your Democrat leadership actually believe.

    I don’t see you doing your part either, Liger. You could volunteer to be a human shield for peace since, unlike military service, there is obviously no age limit or a physical to pass to be one - or is that too much personal sacrifice for you? Until people like you establish a ring of security around America I’ll take my chances with this President and the American military who have done a fine job in keeping another 9/11 from happening the last five years.

    Put up or shut up. Volunteer to be a human shield and stop the violence between Muslim sectarians since you obvioulsy aren’t impressed with the military effort to date.

  • 55 Maggie // Nov 3, 2006 at 5:28 pm

    You beat me to it.I was going to eventually think of that.

  • 56 Anonymous // Nov 3, 2006 at 5:28 pm

    Nan Pelosi, the San Francisco trick…no wait, um, I mean treat… hmmm, on third thought maybe I do mean trick, or possibly I mean that she’s does a mean trick…
    no wait, I think I mean she’s a one trick pony,… no wait, that would be Howard Dean right, no, no that would be left…right?

    Man this new-age diversi-toler-flexi-trans-hypenated
    garter spritzer brie post culture modern values morality
    has me soooooooo confused that John Kerry is starting to make sense. Somebody call a doctor, quick!!


  • 57 everthink // Nov 3, 2006 at 5:28 pm

    Hey gang,

    You are an amazing group. I finally “get it”. How many times have I been told by one or another of you that “This is a satire site; that everything here is satire”? I can remember protesting so many blatant lies only to be told “its satire”!

    I’m really sorry I thought you all were the densest folks I had ever encountered. I even thought I might have tapped into a psych ward computer therapy group. You have to forgive me for that, some of you are very convincing.

    Take Henry for example, who wouldn’t think his character “Darthmeister” is a Paranoid Schizophrenic, with a Reaction Formation going on to mask his homosexuality. I started to ask if he had ever ridden Reverend Haggard’s Motorcycle. I thought prettyold was some transgender guy, struggling with his/her hormones. I was almost sure The Great Santini was really Mark Foley. I thought Beerme was just dumb; well, maybe that’s no act. Then there’s da Bunny I thought for sure she’d killed some guy and was in jail.

    I’m really happy to realized it was all an act; you crazy guyz. I’m happy that this, blaspheming, corrupt, ignorant, stupid, arrogant, strutting, lying, draft dodging, warmonger didn’t really have you brainwashed.

    And, of course, I’m glad to know that you never thought the evil hypocrite Pharisees actually carried the message of Christ’s love and forgiveness.

    Geez, the joke’s on me!


  • 58 Maggie // Nov 3, 2006 at 5:37 pm

    Time to confess,you really are Paul Shanklin,aren’t you?

  • 59 Just Ranting // Nov 3, 2006 at 5:38 pm


    It’s funny how the left views hypocrisy. You’ve got John “I voted for the war before I voted against it” Kerry, Joe “the Plagiarist” Biden, and any number of thieves, sexual deviants, and baby killers running your party and you act like a Southern Belle with a case of the vapors over some preacher gone astray. Take “the lumber out of your own eye first before attempting to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

  • 60 Anonymous // Nov 3, 2006 at 5:48 pm

    “twilight zone music”

    Has anyone else’s main Scrappleface page been reformatted? I posted a comment and when the screen came back it was in this new wide version… very strange.


  • 61 Anonymous // Nov 3, 2006 at 5:50 pm

    “more twilight zone music”

    Now everything is back to normal, except I’m still anonymous. Oh well, at least I can still post… I think.


  • 62 Shelly // Nov 3, 2006 at 5:58 pm

    RE: 49

    Maggie, I know, and you’re right. I just feel so sorry for them/him/her. What an astoundingly dismal life they must live.

  • 63 tomg // Nov 3, 2006 at 6:02 pm

    Does a “Contract with SanFrancisco” have an force majeure “Acts of God” clause?

  • 64 tomg // Nov 3, 2006 at 6:05 pm

    Or Acts of Allah, pbuh
    Pelosi Be Upun Him

  • 65 Anonymous // Nov 3, 2006 at 6:06 pm

    re #57

    Why are you so hung up on homosexuality? Are you hiding something?

    Since you brought it up, as far as the Rev. Haggard is concerned, I think it would be wise to wait a few days to let the story sort itself out. If it turns out that the facts are as they have been reported so far, then IMHO it is a good thing because it is yet another example of God cleansing his church. Jim Baker? Jimmy Swaggart?

    I also believe, if it is true, it is an opportunity for those of us in the Church to retreat to our prayer closets and lift up in prayer all those involved and to seek God’s wisdom and his ultimate Glory in this messy affair.


  • 66 Scott Ott // Nov 3, 2006 at 6:09 pm

    [Editor’s Note: If your name still doesn’t automatically appear with your posts, go to and log in.
    Then look on the lower leftside of the screen and find “Display Name Publicly As”. Choose your nickname. The click the update button on the lower right side. If that doesn’t work, click your heels together three times and repeat ‘The Polls Could Be Wrong’. The latter won’t solve your problem, but a feeling of peace may descend upon you.]

  • 67 Anonymous // Nov 3, 2006 at 6:24 pm

    re: 66

    It’s no use. I’m doomed,….. doomed I say, to be anonymous in cyberspace forever. Goodbye dear friends.
    Oh the ignominity of it all……………

  • 68 Shelly // Nov 3, 2006 at 6:30 pm

    It’s not so bad. Just think of all the wonderful quotes you have read that are attributed to Anonymous. Now you can take credit for all of them. :-)

  • 69 everthink // Nov 3, 2006 at 6:31 pm

    Well, egospeak, one time and you never let me forget it! Come out Hank! Come out now!


  • 70 everthink // Nov 3, 2006 at 6:42 pm

    Say, what’s this about the “NUQUELER” Bomb design being posted on the internet by our government under the watchful eye of our great protector Dummmbeeeyah? I don’t know what we’ll do without him, but let’s try anyway, OK


  • 71 everthink // Nov 3, 2006 at 6:43 pm

    Hey Anonymous,

    Who cares?


  • 72 everthink // Nov 3, 2006 at 6:53 pm

    “I also believe, if it is true, it is an opportunity for those of us in the Church to retreat to our prayer closets and lift up in prayer all those involved and to seek God’s wisdom and his ultimate Glory in this messy affair.”
    Comment by Anonymous — November 3, 2006 @ 6:06 pm

    Do I understand you correctly: IF it’s true you’re going into your closet, and get out of politics?

    See yeah, have a nice life. Don’t forget to take your friends. If you all are so unwise in picking your preachers, please don’t try to pick my president, OK?


  • 73 everthink // Nov 3, 2006 at 6:58 pm


    Re: My 72

    Top that!

    Your patriot brother,


  • 74 egospeak // Nov 3, 2006 at 7:40 pm

    re: 69

    It might interest you to know that not all single men who like art and have a high paying job are gay, but I guess in your “neighborhood” stereotypes die hard.

    re:72 & 73 Top that?

    The only intelligent thing you said in your whole post was my statement from #65 that you quoted.

    What on earth does, “IF it’s true you’re going into your closet, and get out of politics?” mean? I’m not an expert on grammar but even I can tell there is something very wrong with that sentence/question. It sounds like two independent clauses pulled out of the air and stuck together.

    Your inept attempt to smear me and my likeminded associates on this page by asserting that we have some relationship to Rev. Haggard, or were responsible for his former place of leadership, was… well inept. And what does that have to do with a presidential election that is still two years away? I’ll take my judgement and that of my friends over your’s anyday.


  • 75 Darthmeister // Nov 3, 2006 at 7:45 pm

    Take Henry for example, who wouldn’t think his character “Darthmeister” is a Paranoid Schizophrenic, with a Reaction Formation going on to mask his homosexuality. I started to ask if he had ever ridden Reverend Haggard’s Motorcycle. I thought prettyold was some transgender guy, struggling with his/her hormones. I was almost sure The Great Santini was really Mark Foley. I thought Beerme was just dumb; well, maybe that’s no act. Then there’s da Bunny I thought for sure she’d killed some guy and was in jail.

    True to form and his nature as a beloved spawn of Lucifer, Lieger drops all pretense of being a thoughtful, honest, sensitive, inclusive, liberal respecter of other people’s opinion and engages in pure venomous ad hominems.

    Your whole life is a lie, Lieger, and I patiently wait for the day when you will be held accountable for every lie and slander that you’ve recklessly spewed - whether before an earthly tribunal or a heavenly one I don’t care.

    I tell you this, Lieger, unless you find saving grace all of creation will rejoice in that day when intransigent self-righteous miscreants like you are finally made to account for your hateful bile and false witness against those who have been purchased by the blood of the Lamb. And pretending ignorance will not change that equation one wit.

    Not a word from their mouth can be trusted; their heart is filled with destruction. Their throat an open grave; with their tongue they speak deceit … He who is pregnant with evil and conceives trouble gives birth to disillusionment. He who digs a hole and scoops it out falls into the pit he has made. The trouble he causes recoils on himself; his venomous lies comes down on his own head.

    Have a nice eternity, troll.

  • 76 Darthmeister // Nov 3, 2006 at 7:45 pm

    I see neverthink has graced us with his intellectual vacuousness again.

  • 77 The Great Santini // Nov 3, 2006 at 7:46 pm


    I am not Mr. Shanklin. But I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express™ last night!

  • 78 Darthmeister // Nov 3, 2006 at 7:52 pm

    Neverthink a patriot? Now there’s an oxymoron.

    The only thing you’re a patriot to is yourself and your little house of cards. Both you an Lieger are nothing more than pompous anarchists whose only authority in life is that vacuous echo chamber which exists between your ears. You, sir, give new meaning to the phrase “Lord of the flies.” The kingdom you so richly deserves awaits you in the wasteland of your own pompous vanity.

  • 79 Darthmeister // Nov 3, 2006 at 7:54 pm

    Hmmmm, The Great Santini has attacked this toxic waste problem we are presently having from a more, let’s say, terrestrial point of view. Well done, sir.

  • 80 egospeak // Nov 3, 2006 at 8:01 pm


    re: 72

    I’ve reread your question and now I understand it, so I retract my comments about your grammar, however I still don’t understand why you connect praying for Rev.
    Haggard and for God’s glory with getting out of politics.

    I haven’t mentioned politics in any of my posts today and am not involved in politics at any level. Are you suggesting that voting is being involved in politics. I thought it was a sign of good citizenship.


  • 81 Right Mind : Democrats Unveil ‘Contract with San Francisco’ // Nov 3, 2006 at 8:14 pm

    […] From Scott Ott over at Scrapple Face: […]

  • 82 egospeak // Nov 3, 2006 at 8:18 pm

    re: 72 final thoughts

    The reason I said “if it is true”, is because of the track record of the press in getting things right, or more properly “wrong”. Think back to the Valerie Plame fairy tale and how it was all Karl Rove’s fault.

    I don’t have a dog in the fight or a horse in the race, I’m just interested in the truth, and sometimes it takes a few days for the truth to come out.

    Judge not, lest ye be judged.


  • 83 everthink // Nov 3, 2006 at 8:20 pm


    “It might interest you to know that not all single men who like art and have a high paying job are gay, but I guess in your “neighborhood” stereotypes die hard.”

    … Single men who like art and have a high paying job … I thought you were a woman; but if you’re not, in any neighborhood that sounds pretty gay. What does in “my neighborhood” mean anyway; the wrong side of the tracks? Try not to look down on me, will you? Just ask your phony self WWJD.

    Don’t swell up and bust now; … weren’t headed for the closet?

    With little or no regards,


  • 84 everthink // Nov 3, 2006 at 8:36 pm


    I got a Top Secret Security Clearance, a U. S. Secret Service Commendation, a SAR membership, and this paper with a big Eagle and the words “Honorable Discharge from the Army of the United States”.

    What have you got Bigmouth, a Sean Hannity decoder ring?


  • 85 JamesonLewis3rd // Nov 3, 2006 at 8:37 pm

    This must be embarrassing for Scot-while he is trying to broaden his readership-to have this puerile LLL moonbat, God-hating, America-hating garbage on here.

  • 86 egospeak // Nov 3, 2006 at 8:47 pm


    I’m not a woman, but thanks for the compliment. BTW,
    thanks for proving my point about stereotypes. As for your neighborhood, my reference was more to your emotional, intellectual residence than your physical one.


  • 87 Shelly // Nov 3, 2006 at 8:48 pm

    JL3, I don’t think it’s a problem for Scott. ET is one of those pathetic individuals who cannot build himself up in any way, and therefore only finds a supposed legitimacy in trying to bring others down to the gutter he knows he lives in. He knows he’s a bottom feeder. He just hopes he can fool someone, anyone, into believing that they are equally as low. I feel very sorry for anyone whose self-concept is so pathetic that the only way they can attempt to elevate themselves in any small way is by dragging an obviously optimistic person/people toward any level of pessimism. His misery is all he knows and he’s hoping beyond hope that he can make someone sink to that pathetic level so he won’t subsist there alone.

  • 88 Liger // Nov 3, 2006 at 9:01 pm

    Anyone want to bet on the election results? C’mon. Geedub seems pretty optimistic.

  • 89 Beerme // Nov 3, 2006 at 9:03 pm


    Did you get those things before your participation in that hallucinogenics study?

    Seriously though, I’m sure there are a great number of morons and degenerates with those same qualifications. After all, the Clinton executive branch was full of them!

    And really, having a patriot in your blood line doesn’t really say much about you, does it?

    And how did you know about the decoder rings? That’s a secret, bozo!

  • 90 Liger // Nov 3, 2006 at 9:29 pm


  • 91 Liger // Nov 3, 2006 at 9:32 pm

    Alert Alert Alert!

    Bob Ney (R-Ohio) just resigned his seat after pleading guilty to various corruption charges!


  • 92 Darthmeister // Nov 3, 2006 at 9:35 pm

    Old news, Lieger. You’re still a liar and you are the offspring of the Father of lies.

  • 93 bystander // Nov 3, 2006 at 9:41 pm

    And darth, just what is a ‘real Christian’ ?

    Are there phony ones out there as well ?

    There seems to be a ready supply of hypocritical ones these days.

  • 94 Darthmeister // Nov 3, 2006 at 9:47 pm

    If there is a definition of a “real Christian” you certainly aren’t the poster child for one, my hate-filled friend. The malicious evil which exudes from your self-righteous canards would disavow any person of that notion. Ignorant trolls like you would never fit the bill since you only exist to cause division and acrimony. And if you are indeed a liberal it makes you more the hypocrite since liberals are suppose to be sensitive, understanding, nuanced, cosmopolitan, open-minded, people of peace who respect other people’s opinions that you don’t agree with. You’ve only spewed hate and venom since coming here.

  • 95 Darthmeister // Nov 3, 2006 at 9:50 pm

    You’re a troll, Lieger, the rules of common decency don’t apply to miscreants like you because you only come here to provoke and spew your hate. You’ve forfeited your right to be treated with any civility and dignity since you only exist to cause rancor, you disagreeable little troll.

    Now go home and get your diaper changed, I think I hear your mommy calling you. Your Father of lies also awaits you with his terms of endearment.

  • 96 Darthmeister // Nov 3, 2006 at 9:55 pm

    Yes possession of Meth is a felony, and if Mr. Haggard has broken the law then he should pay the price … at the behest of THE COURT and not because of the likes of you.

    Also, your apparent celebration was not just about Meth but actually over the prospect of Mr. Haggard having been accused of having sex with a male prostitute. You’re a gutless wonder not to face up to your un-American, illiberal attempt to subject Mr. Haggard to your kangaroo court of half-truths and lies. Mr. Jones FLUNKED THE LIE DECTECTOR TEST which means the your take on the original story filed by the media WAS WRONG! You must think “allegations” means “conviction”. Buy yourself a dictionary.

  • 97 Liger // Nov 3, 2006 at 10:00 pm

    Classic. Hilarious screed. You are talented

    Only if Santini would put your posts to music, you might be an artiste along the lines of Dylan or Cobain.

    I do get the sense that you are slightly tense. Perhaps you should get a “massage”?

  • 98 Liger // Nov 3, 2006 at 10:15 pm

    This whole pastor ted thing reflects poorly on meth addicts everywhere.

    Its a shame really.

  • 99 Liger // Nov 3, 2006 at 10:18 pm

    You see Hank, lots of people buy meth multiple times and not use it. After all, he’s one of God’s children and he was just keeping this evil meth scourge off of the streets. Likewise, he kept this homo prostitute preoccupied with massages. This truly is a man of God.

  • 100 Ms RightWing, Ink // Nov 3, 2006 at 11:14 pm

    Halloween over but Democrats still believe in ghosts. Of course this comes from the poorest city in the nation and the 4th worse crime rate. sigh, will they never learn

  • 101 Ms RightWing, Ink // Nov 3, 2006 at 11:22 pm

    Why is everyone arguing with Liger. Think you will reform him?

    I will agree some of his posts are a well deserved read, for reasons unknown, but arguing? Ha!

    Ted Haggard has plenty of people doing plenty of investigating. When the final report comes out, then and then only, will I know how to pray for the man. His church is now the acting judge, not me, you nor liger.

    Dat’s all this second class citizen has to say about that.

  • 102 Ed // Nov 3, 2006 at 11:22 pm

    It’s About Time…

    Ever since the Republican’s Contract With America in 1994, I’ve long wondered why no one has repeated the concept. Finally, one party has………

  • 103 RedPepper // Nov 3, 2006 at 11:36 pm

    #104 MsRW: All I wanna know is: 1) Just what office is this Ted Haggard running for, exactly? and 2) Is he any relation to Merle?

  • 104 Liger // Nov 3, 2006 at 11:42 pm

    Remind me again, what office is Kerry running for?

  • 105 Ms RightWing, Ink // Nov 3, 2006 at 11:44 pm

    Unfortunately Haggard is a shadow in the Republican party. He is charged with acting like a Democrat, which means guilty, unless you are a Democrat.

    Make any sense? I thought not

  • 106 Godfrey // Nov 3, 2006 at 11:56 pm

    Please be careful, Hank: if you feed it any more it might expode. Give the poor thing a rest…

  • 107 RedPepper // Nov 3, 2006 at 11:57 pm

    Hmmm. Ghosts … & shadows. And here I thought Halloween was over.

  • 108 RedPepper // Nov 4, 2006 at 12:12 am

    Hi there Godfrey. I see the techies didn’t abscond with your nom de plume. Did you have a happy Day of the Dead?

  • 109 everthink // Nov 4, 2006 at 12:13 am

    Say Liger,

    Help me I forget, just who is this guy Ted Haggard? Does he have any connection to the Bush Administration? Is he a friend of Hanks?

    What about it Hanky are you “buds”?

    Hey gayprideguy what about you? Have ever met Haggard? How about Foley?


  • 110 everthink // Nov 4, 2006 at 12:19 am

    Do you folks remember how you laughed and laughed when the tolls told you about Tom Delay?

    Did you know Haggard bought “favors” from Jones with church tithes? Remember to “Keep those cards and letters coming folks.”

  • 111 everthink // Nov 4, 2006 at 12:23 am


    How does one (as opposed to how do you) use that meth stuff? Could you check for me, I never go to the the kind of churches brother Ted operated.


  • 112 everthink // Nov 4, 2006 at 12:42 am


    It took me thirteen years of research to prove my lineage to the satisfaction of The Sons of the American Revolution. Then I felt compelled to resign when they choose to honor Tom Feeney. I told them I must act as I believe my patriot ancestors would act.

    Looks like to me the term GOP should be replaced by the term SOD don’t you?


    How’s them Lions doin’?

  • 113 Godfrey // Nov 4, 2006 at 1:14 am

    Redpepper: I see the techies didn’t abscond with your nom de plume…

    Not that they didn’t try. I had to dust of my Pencak Silat to hold them at bay. At the end of the day, though, I ended up beating up one of the techies and absconding with his name. So you can now address me either as “Godfrey” or as “roMuLus 3.14″.

    As for my DotD, it was rather, well, dead. I only got one group of trick-or-treaters the whole night. I have no idea what I’m going to do with all these extra razor blades.

  • 114 Effeminem // Nov 4, 2006 at 1:39 am

    lol@Godfrey. Razor blades. You sound like me when I’m.. not posting here in the guise of a pompous anarchist.

    I keep thinking, homosexuality and drug use may be wrong, but they’re not unethical, so why does anyone care?

  • 115 Godfrey // Nov 4, 2006 at 2:16 am

    Eff: I thought you were a pompous libertarian…

    I don’t think homosexuality is “wrong” per se. I see it as a natural phenomenon. There are gay monkeys, for goodness sake. That certainly lends something to the “nature” side of the nature vs. nurture debate.

    At any rate, I agree that people shouldn’t worry too much about homosexuality since it tends to be a self-limiting characteristic. Gay people tend not to breed very well.

    But they do try…

  • 116 Effeminem // Nov 4, 2006 at 2:31 am

    Isn’t anarcho-capitalism the logical end result for libertarianism? Yes, it is. But I’ll settle for a small downward trend in a government.

    Gay monkeys. Sigh. I wish I could vote for monkeys next week instead of some of the choices we do have. At least there would be less …dung.. flinging.

    Oh, I saw Bill Clinton speak the other day. A lot of people turned out but less than half were Democrats judging by the lukewarm reaction.

  • 117 Godfrey // Nov 4, 2006 at 3:04 am

    Well, yes, but anarcho-capitalism is not the same thing as anarchism. I am an anarcho-capitalist but by no means an anarchist. I just wear that circle-A t shirt ’cause all the other kids are.

    Regarding the Great Fecal Fling of ‘06, I have long since given up despairing about the dearth of real candidates. I’ll just do what I always do…vote for the libertarian unless the race is close (in which case I’ll vote for the Republican). Republicans are bad, but Democrats are far worse.

    When it comes to the GOP I’m sorta like a mail-order bride. I may be in a marriage of convenience but I’ll cheat on that abusive jerk every chance I get.

  • 118 JamesonLewis3rd // Nov 4, 2006 at 3:35 am

    No, Kerry isn’t officially running for anything at this time, though it’s quite obvious he intended to run for President again since he’s still bogarting several million dollars in campaign funds from 2004.

    Right now he’s just the head of the Democrat party who’s reminded us of his decades-old disdain for patriotism, the American military and personal responsibility.

  • 119 egospeak // Nov 4, 2006 at 7:44 am


    I certainly hope that when you depart this mortal coil you leave your brain to science. It would be interesting to learn how your mind worked, as opposed to those of normal people.

    You seem to believe that those of us who are Christians are defending what Rev. Haggard is alleged to have done. I’ve read all the posts that relate to Ted Haggard, and I can’t find one that defends what he has reportedly done. In every case, his alleged conduct has been condemned. The consistent theme is to let the facts come out before crucifying the man. I imagine you would demand the same courtesy be extended to you should you ever run afoul of the law.

    What’s up with this “gayprideguy” thing anyway? You really do seem to have some issues where homosexuality is concerned. Are you sure you aren’t repressing something? At any rate, assuming that you are refering to me with this infantile “gayprideguy” thing, please note, it’s “Mr. gayprideguy” to you.


  • 120 MargeinMI // Nov 4, 2006 at 7:48 am


    There. Does it smell better now?

    Good Morning Scrappleville!

  • 121 Ms RightWing, Ink // Nov 4, 2006 at 8:03 am


    No, my cat just used the cat box,. Give another spray will you.

  • 122 MargeinMI // Nov 4, 2006 at 8:10 am



    Not a problem.

    Care for a walk down memory lane with Mr. Hanson this morning?

  • 123 MargeinMI // Nov 4, 2006 at 9:08 am


  • 124 Ms RightWing, Ink // Nov 4, 2006 at 9:18 am

    The Military Times Media Group has called for the ouster of Rumsfield two days before the election. So why are all of these people dropping their bombs at controlled times?

    I suspect the Media Corp, like the military lawyers, are a bunch of Lilly faced socialists.

    I am sorry I don’t have a lot of time right now to sit in my pajamas and investigate, but I did find Paul Newman being a big backer of the MTMG. One thing he called for with his money is:

    “Missoula Children’s Theater,” the nation’s largest children’s theater program. The theater group will use the grant money to pay for a team of actors and directors and their equipment along with about 50 military children to travel to Guantanamo Cuba. There the group will develop and produce a full-scale musical. The William T. Sampson Elementary School Parent Teachers Organization, Naval Station, Guantanamo Bay sponsor the theater group.

    What? A little Gitmo for yo money?

    Of course, the Military Times Newspaper is owned by Gannet who, other than a few dozen small time rags, owns the USA Today paper, which by the way has never broke even. Among their other rags, they own the Des Monies Register, a paper I know is about as American as lasagna.

  • 125 Ms RightWing, Ink // Nov 4, 2006 at 9:25 am

    geesh, they even named their school after a legal eagle;

    William T. Sampson was the Commander of the U.S. blockading and North Atlantic squadrons during the Spanish-American War of 1898. Prior to the war, he served in a variety of assignments and rose to rank of Captain by 1890 and later became a Rear Admiral.

    He was appointed President of the U.S.S. Maine Court of Inquiry, the group that was responsible for the investigation of the incident in Havana harbor.

  • 126 Ms RightWing, Ink // Nov 4, 2006 at 9:27 am

    Hey, am I doing better than Rush. See, if we quit arguing with Liger we can get something accomplished.

  • 127 Shelly // Nov 4, 2006 at 9:37 am

    Marge, thanks for the air freshener. We sure needed it. Good morning everybody!

  • 128 conserve-a-tips // Nov 4, 2006 at 10:14 am

    Good morning, guys and gals. Have had a catastrophe happen to one of our children and have been trying to be the ear, hugs and cheerleader for the last two days. I have read your posts, Scott, but haven’t had time to tell you how great they are!

    Ms Rightwing, Ink: I am thinking that you can take over for Rush at the EIB golden mike when he is on one of his golfing extravaganzas. Keep digging!

  • 129 bystander // Nov 4, 2006 at 10:57 am

    “liberals are suppose to be sensitive, understanding, nuanced, cosmopolitan, open-minded, people of peace who respect other people’s opinions that you don’t agree with. You’ve only spewed hate and venom since coming here.”

    You have the gall to talk about respect for other’s opinions ?

    Talk about spewing “hate and venom” I could never begin to equal what many of you faithful scrapplers spew daily around here against anyone who disagrees with your views no matter how respectfully they may be presented.

    Oh well - looking forward to see if any of you attend Tuesday’s late night “Crow Dinner” :-)

  • 130 everthink // Nov 4, 2006 at 11:15 am

    Look here, non-gay, high income, art lover:

    How many of the people Republicans have pointed to as an example to others, have disgraced “Traditional (or family) Values”? I have noticed Republicans seem to have let up on their “Party of Family Values” theme.

    I bet many of you are Republicans only because your pastor, and friends at church are Republican. How many of you are strongly influenced by your pastor’s endorsement of a candidate.

    So when the church’s convention’s (or diocese’s), “exalted ones” gather instead of finding ways to increase, and feed the flock, these folks relinquish their call to “leave the ninety and nine”, and to seek the one in need. They act as though they think they can benefit their flocks more by the use of government, and politics, than the Gospel. “They have left their first love.”

    They now prostitute the church in hope of power they don’t need, shouldn’t want, and that they’ll never get.

    These poor souls don’t seem to understand that if they could make laws that cause everyone to believe as they believe, and behave as they behave, they will have only created more hypocrites like themselves.


  • 131 everthink // Nov 4, 2006 at 11:51 am

    Subject: A Boy, A Bible, A Silver Dollar, A Bottle of Whisky

    An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men, the boy didn’t really know what he wanted to do, and he didn’t seem too concerned about it. One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment.

    He went into the boy’s room and placed on his study table three objects: a Bible, a silver dollar, and a bottle of whisky. “I’ll just hide behind the door,” the old preacher said to himself, “and when he comes home from school this afternoon, I’ll see which object he picks up.

    If it’s the Bible, he’s going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be! If he picks up the dollar, he’s going to be a businessman, and that would be okay, too. But if he picks up the bottle, he’s going to be a no-good drunkard, and, Lord, what a shame that would be.” The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son’s footsteps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room. He tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table. With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them.

    Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped it into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink.

    “Lord have mercy,” the old man whispered, “he’s gonna be a (Republican) Congressman!

    (My insert.)


  • 132 JamesonLewis3rd // Nov 4, 2006 at 11:51 am

    Too funny.

    Talk about projecting…..

  • 133 JamesonLewis3rd // Nov 4, 2006 at 12:07 pm

    RE: #127~~
    Ms RightWing, Ink~~


    The implication by the SF Chronicle that four different “military” magazines were calling for the ouster of Rumsfeld is flat-out false. They are using this false premise to suggest that the entire military is calling for him to resign-nothing could be further from the truth.

    Yet another example of how the MSM has become the bane of modern society.

  • 134 egospeak // Nov 4, 2006 at 12:09 pm


    Sorry to hear the news. I hope everything is getting back to normal. God bless you and yours.

  • 135 da Bunny // Nov 4, 2006 at 12:10 pm

    Ms RightWing, Gannett also owns the Louisville Courier-Journal, or “The New York Times-Lite.” And, your post #108…makes sense to me! :-)

  • 136 RedPepper // Nov 4, 2006 at 12:10 pm

    Hi there, JL3.

    Be of good cheer … Wednesday’s almost here!

  • 137 Ghoti // Nov 4, 2006 at 12:22 pm

    Apparently I’m still anonymous, but I won’t worry about it until I see “Comment by insignificant” on the signature line.

    However, I followed the subsequent advice (Scott Ott #66) by clicking three times, following by the suggested incantation, and it seemed to help a little.


  • 138 Dinocrat » Blog Archive » If a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds…. // Nov 4, 2006 at 12:22 pm

    […] In a bold and decisive move reminiscent of the GOP’s 1994 Contract with America, Ms. Pelosi recently unveiled her new plan for the Democratic majority, the Contract with San Francisco: What’s good for San Francisco is good for the nation,” she said, “And it’s about time our country got back to the fundamentals which shaped a generation of trans-decent folks living here in America’s garter belt.” […]

  • 139 JamesonLewis3rd // Nov 4, 2006 at 12:44 pm

    People like this make me proud-of them and to be an American.

    I’m sure the LLL/MSM will find these polar-opposites of the Cindy Sheehans of this country despicable.

  • 140 conserve-a-tips // Nov 4, 2006 at 1:25 pm

    I really am floored by ET and Bystander and others like them. I usually vote Republican, but I have voted Democrat (in fact I used to be a registered Democrat) but consider myself a conservative American only. I have a strong Christian faith but am in between churches and actually have DVDs sent to us from various churches to use on Sunday morning and night and weeknights for encouragement and Bible Study, and I haven’t had one single minister in our plethora of sermons tell me what their politics are or who they promote as a candidate. I read volumes daily from every source that I can find, including the Bible, and I listen to numerous sources for information. I am college educated, actually know my IQ score and it’s pretty nice (really - I am not bragging, just making a point! :wink:), and I feel that I am able to discern crap from meat pretty well.

    All of the people I know, including my Scrappleface friends seem to fall into much the same life and activities, and characteristics and actually know how to think for themselves. It blows my mind that liberals think that they can tell us what mind-numbed robots we are, thinking that we are going to say, “Oh yes. I forgot. I am a mind numbed robot. Maybe I should rethink this. Oh I can’t because I am a mind-numbed robot.”

    This week, the lovely, compassionate, no-absolutes liberal Democrats of my district declared that my representative, a Republican, runs with the “Devil’s Crowd” because he is being supported by many of our Native Americans. The Indians are the “Devil’s Crowd” because they have casinos and these liberals are actually saying that my representative is a false Christian because how can he take the “Lord’s work” to the capitol while running with the Devil’s Crowd!!!

    A bunch of us were so shocked and outraged at the racist comments that we took out an ad in our paper and pointed out that the Democrats had promised and delivered the “White Man’s” gambling, the lottery, and that our representative has been trying to work with the tribes to seek market solutions to get away from gambling.

    So Bystander and ET, tell me about how tolerant the Democrats are, while they take down every Jew, gay, Native American, African American or veteran they can destroy only because they don’t walk lockstep with the Democrat Gestapo. Just ask Joe Lieberman…he knows what the modern day Gestapo is really like.

  • 141 conserve-a-tips // Nov 4, 2006 at 1:29 pm

    Thank you Egospeak. It is hard to watch your children hurt, especially when it is not their fault. At 25, this daughter has gotten caught in the middle of a political tug-of-war at a state institution and has lost her job, her new, first home on which she was closing in a week, her stellar employment record and her self-esteem. Trying to decide what action to take. But right now, support is the best we can do.

  • 142 egospeak // Nov 4, 2006 at 1:32 pm


    As to your first point I can only speak for myself. There have been many examples of failure on the part of “Family Values” Republicans. I even conveniently listed two of them in my post # 65. Their failure and the failure of any other conservatives or Republicans to live up to the beliefs they espouse does not negate those beliefs.

    Are they guilty of hypocrisy? Absolutely. Should they suffer the criticism and reproach that comes with it? Of course.
    The problem that I and many others have is that that standard seems only to apply to conservatives or Republicans. Examples abound, I won’t bore you with any, save one. Mark Foley versus Gerry Studds. Foley resigned when the news broke. I don’t know if the leadership forced him to, but the fact is he resigned his seat. Studds committed a worse offense, did not resign and apparently wasn’t pressured by the Democrat leadership to resign. He was also reelected five or six more times.

    I have no doubt that if Foley were to die today his obituary would speak of him as a disgraced former congressman and a child predator. Studds recently died. His offense was unarguably worse than that committed by Foley, yet I don’t recall either “disgraced” or “child predator” showing up in his obituary.

    I don’t see the need to take sides when someone does something wrong. I just wish the press had the same attitude.

    Regarding your second point, I have been conservative all my life. My pastor had nothing to do with it. My conservative views were sharpened by Rush Limbaugh, the commentary page of the Washington Times, National Review and other conservative magazines. I can’t speak for anyone else.

    As to your third point, you mean like the black churches that Democrat presidential candidates campaign and raise money in every four years? It is, in fact, possible to be faithful to the Gospel and be active politically. You have left your first love when you replace the Gospel with political beliefs.

    “They now prostitute the church in hope of power they don’t need, shouldn’t want, and that they’ll never get.”
    If you mean both major political parties, I agree with you.

    As to your final point, I would suggest that you can legislate morality, (we do it all the time; that is the point of pretty much all law) but you cannot enforce it without changing the heart. Or resorting to a police state. The hyprocrisy comes in when you are more concerned with passing the law than changing the heart.


  • 143 conserve-a-tips // Nov 4, 2006 at 1:42 pm

    Egospeak: Amen brother and kudos. You proved my point about my fellow Scrapplers. :mrgreen:

  • 144 bystander // Nov 4, 2006 at 3:00 pm

    The chickens finally are coming home to roost !

    “A leading conservative proponent [ Perle ] of the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq now says dysfunction within the Bush administration has turned U.S. policy there into a disaster.”

    To refer to the problem as “dysfunction” is being quite polite !

    I wonder if any of you will have the b*lls to show up at “Crow Dinner” ?

  • 145 conserve-a-tips // Nov 4, 2006 at 3:07 pm

    Bystander, read up on Perle. And then go find out how he pushed for the Iraq invasion in the first place. And then go look up his jersey number - you know - his Monday Morning Quarterback jersey number.

  • 146 RedPepper // Nov 4, 2006 at 3:35 pm

    #s 131, 144 c-a-t(s): Sorry to hear your daughter is having problems. Hope things work out OK for her. Hang in there.

  • 147 JamesonLewis3rd // Nov 4, 2006 at 3:57 pm

    For one to “eat crow” it is first necessary for their opinion to be proven wrong. Therefore, it is highly unlikely that any conservative will be partaking.
    I know I won’t be having any humble pie (well, I might have some of Humble Pie’s 30 Days in the Hole from “Smokin’”-circa 1972, but I digress).

  • 148 egospeak // Nov 4, 2006 at 4:25 pm

    re: last line in # 145 That should be hypocrisy. I have no idea what hyprocrisy is.

    Back on topic. “These ideas transcend the subjectivity of the printed word and cannot be captured on paper,” she said, “but they constitute a living document that dwells in the hearts of those who believe, and is continually refreshed to reflect the mood of the nation and the desires of the individual.” Even though it is satire that is the scariest sentence every written, because it perfectly encapsulates the view of the 21st century liberal, of our American Constitution. God forbid that any judges that hold that view be appointed to any court in America. Elections matter.
    Don’t forget to vote (preferably conservative, but at least Republican) on Tuesday.

  • 149 JamesonLewis3rd // Nov 4, 2006 at 4:40 pm

    Yes, that sentence jumped out at me, too.

  • 150 JamesonLewis3rd // Nov 4, 2006 at 5:27 pm

    It’s amazing how many “news” outlets are quoting those “military” magazines as if they are official documents or something. I’d laugh if it weren’t so pathetic.

    They might as well get their military “intelligence” from TV Guide or Maxim or PennySaver or Motor Trend or the back of a Cocoa Pebbles box.


  • 151 Darthmeister // Nov 4, 2006 at 5:43 pm

    Interesting pre-election analysis over at Hugh Hewitt.

    Author has some interesting ideas about polling data. Comments are worth reading, too. Gotta run, busy day.

  • 152 Darthmeister // Nov 4, 2006 at 5:49 pm

    Military intelligence from PennySaver? Buwahahahahahaha. Libs are so gullible, they believe anything that resonates in their echo chamber without checking the real facts. Good catch, JL3rd.

    Aren’t all those “military magazines” owned by the same publisher? I hear they are only good for throwing down in the front office for light reading but really don’t reflect the actual mindset of the military culture, particularly the one engaged on the battlefield.

  • 153 Darthmeister // Nov 4, 2006 at 6:03 pm

    BTW, Perle is one of those dreaded NEO-CONS. What in the world is bystander doing favorably quoting a neo-con? But this opinon from Frum partially debunks the Vanity Fair spin. bystander, will you quit being such a partisan hack and put things in their proper context?

    I’ve always believed that Bush and Rumsfeld put too much velvet on the steel glove once Saddam’s regime was toppled. The original Sunni rebellion, aided and abetted by foreign terrorists, should have been totally and mercilessly crushed particularly since they were the minority who lorded it over the Kurds and Shiites under Saddam’s regime.

    But you go to war with the President you have and any Republican President is far better than the moonbats waiting in the wings of the DemoDonk party like John “insult the troops” Kerry and sHrillary.

  • 154 Darthmeister // Nov 4, 2006 at 6:04 pm

    …Pelosi ate my post! WHERE IS SHE??? WHY IS SHE LAYING LOW??? I suppose she knows if she got to much face time before the elections it would further galvanize the conservative base. What a coward, won’t even stand up for what she believes in before an important election.

  • 155 nylecoj // Nov 4, 2006 at 7:14 pm

    This comment from the blog Darth linked to I found to be of particular interest and merit
    …..”Democrats know what will happen if their party loses: more of the same great economy, and continued active measures to defend the country against terrorism. Democrats may make a lot of noise about how unhappy they are but in fact they know they are pretty well off right now.

    Repbulicans however have a lot to fear if Republicans lose, including: surrender to terrorists and other enemies and Eruopean style economic stagnation, etc…..”

  • 156 everthink // Nov 4, 2006 at 7:29 pm


    Re: 75

    You seem to think the quote you cited was Liger’s, and then you condemned him to the eternal damnation for writing it. Truth is it was mine. Don’t you owe Liger an apology? Come on Henry fess up. Say “I was wrong, I’m sorry Mr. Liger” … OK? Now don’t you feel better?



    PS Don’t bother condemning me, I have an Advocate.

  • 157 everthink // Nov 4, 2006 at 7:36 pm


    Unless your correction is in the first paragraph, just forget it. You too Hank.


  • 158 everthink // Nov 4, 2006 at 7:43 pm

    News Flash!

    The train seems to be gaining speed, you’d better hope it slows down before gets to Repug station.

    Your FNB reporter,

    Does anyone know: Have any hearings been scheduled yet?

  • 159 Shelly // Nov 4, 2006 at 8:00 pm

    RE: 159, actually when a lib demands an apology it goes something like this: “I’m sorry if others distorted my words into something that you found offensive because you’re so stupid.”

    Illustration here:

  • 160 bystander // Nov 4, 2006 at 8:05 pm

    “The original Sunni rebellion, aided and abetted by foreign terrorists, should have been totally and mercilessly crushed..”

    To accomplish that would have realistically required a Nazi type solution - the total extermination of all Sunnis.

    Is that what you advocate Darth ?

  • 161 Shelly // Nov 4, 2006 at 8:07 pm

    Also, be sure to check out Michelle Malkin’s website about yet more lying on behalf of troops. The “Because of Iraq” commercial had to cut one section that was based on absolute lies. There’s also another fantastic picture of troops responding to Kerry’s slander.

  • 162 egospeak // Nov 4, 2006 at 8:25 pm

    re: 160

    Are you refering to #151 where I correct my mis-spelling of hypocrisy? Or is it #145 where I am responding to your post #133? Or maybe # 122? I’ve only posted about a dozen comments on this thread, which one are you refering to?


  • 163 JamesonLewis3rd // Nov 4, 2006 at 8:42 pm

    This weekend the DNC has about 7,000 lawyers fanning out to 18 states preparing to lay the groundwork for possible challenges.
    For contrast, the RNC is sending out about 150 lawyers to 4-5 states and the DOJ is sending out 800 lawyers to 65 cities.

    Meanwhile, the NAACP, Lawyers’ Committee for Civil Rights Under Law and the People for the American Way have together amassed about 2,000 lawyers to work in 20 states.

    That’s a heckuva messa lawyers.

  • 164 JamesonLewis3rd // Nov 4, 2006 at 8:43 pm


  • 165 Ms RightWing, Ink // Nov 4, 2006 at 9:24 pm

    re: 155

    Yes darth, the military times is put out by the same people who do Army Times, Navy Times, Air Force Times, Cub Scout Times, etc. Gannet Press owns them all

  • 166 Ms RightWing, Ink // Nov 4, 2006 at 9:31 pm

    Hey, isn’t Gore getting a bit chunky. He looks like he is taking prednisone for a snack food

  • 167 egospeak // Nov 4, 2006 at 9:38 pm

    Ms RightWing, Ink,
    re: 169

    Man, that is one scary picture. He looks kinda like the T-Rex in Jurassic park.


  • 168 Darthmeister // Nov 4, 2006 at 11:15 pm

    Lieger and neverthink are the same troll so why should I apologize as they try to game us here at Scrappleface? If I’m wrong, then I merely owe an apology for seeing these two as virtually interchangeable and essentially indistinguishable in their shared insanity. This view is further enforced by the fact they’ve made it a habit of always slapping each other on the back and coming back here and posting at virtually the same time.

    Lieger is still a liar in his own right, and you’ve only proven they you two are made from the same mold, neverthink, or at least live in the same echo chamber. A mere technicality on your part troll since I actually see you two as the same person … or at the least mind-numbed drones swilling the same kool-aid. You’re probably posting from a desktop and a laptop just to show different IPs. Go fish.

  • 169 Darthmeister // Nov 4, 2006 at 11:15 pm

    ….hmmmmm, neverthink ate my post.

  • 170 Darthmeister // Nov 4, 2006 at 11:29 pm

    An amazing appeal and confession by a Democrat pleading with fellow liberals not to let the reigns of power fall into the hands of their own party while the war on terror continues to rage. Sobering.

    Democrats = The Party of Defeat

  • 171 R.A.M. // Nov 4, 2006 at 11:35 pm


  • 172 R.A.M. // Nov 4, 2006 at 11:38 pm


  • 173 everthink // Nov 5, 2006 at 12:52 am


  • 174 everthink // Nov 5, 2006 at 1:14 am

    “The woodbin is Darth”. This means the woodbin has no wood! Most Darth woodbins have no coal either, but when there is no coal at all, that is called “meister coal”. Go ahead ask Mr. Knowitall.

  • 175 Godfrey // Nov 5, 2006 at 1:50 am

    There is nothing in all the world so frolicksome as a well-fed troll. [deleted]
    Shelly: the great thing about campaign commercials (if you’re the one running them) is that they do their damage whether they’re true or not.

  • 176 JamesonLewis3rd // Nov 5, 2006 at 3:41 am

    The DoD rebuts the claims in those so-called “military” magazines here.

  • 177 Maggie // Nov 5, 2006 at 7:28 am


    Happy Birthday!

  • 178 Ms RightWing, Ink // Nov 5, 2006 at 8:01 am

    Let me be the first, er second, to wish my dear friend in the southern latitudes, a Happy Birthday, with many more to come.

  • 179 Ms RightWing, Ink // Nov 5, 2006 at 8:07 am

    Saddam Hussein has been found guilty and is going to be deep fried and served like Kentucky Fried Chicken. Kennedy said that is barbaric (because he won’t be there for a slice).

  • 180 MargeinMI // Nov 5, 2006 at 8:17 am

    Happy Birthday kajun! And many mooooooooore.

    Good morning all.

  • 181 conserve-a-tips // Nov 5, 2006 at 10:57 am

    Happy Birthday kajun…hope you get to have some:

    Jambalaya and a crawfish pie and fillet gumbo
    and that you:
    Pick guitar, fill fruit jar and be gay-o
    Son of a gun, hope you have big fun on the bayou!!

  • 182 bystander // Nov 5, 2006 at 12:07 pm

    “The DoD rebuts the claims in those so-called “military” magazines here.”

    Certainly, that is Mr Rumsfeld’s Official DoD web site. You didn’t expect him to agree with his critics do you ?

    Just note that not even in the Vietnam Era did so many Generals come out and disagree with their boss in public.

  • 183 Darthmeister // Nov 5, 2006 at 1:35 pm

    From Jules Crittenden, the Boston Herald city editor:

    Ted Kennedy, Barney Frank and Mike Dukakis. Gay marriage and Willie Horton. The strictest gun controls in the nation, and gun violence is skyrocketing. John Kerry, still reporting for duty. We all know the jokes, we’ve heard them all before …

    To view the national stage from Massachusetts is to know the bitter truth that our state plays an important role in America’s political theater. Every two years, bluest blue Massachusetts sends in the clowns. We show America what could be and America generally sees it and acts accordingly: runs in the other direction.

    From Kerry’s insulting jibes at our troops, to the efforts by Kennedy and others in our delegation to undermine a wartime presidency and give Euro-style socialism a foot-hold in the New World, Massachusetts gives America its bogeymen.

    We have a Democratic legislature here by default.

    The hapless local GOP has been unable to muster challengers in any significant numbers, despite 16 years of managing to shoehorn a mixed bag of Republicans into the governor’s office. Even blue Mass. voters have wanted someone to put the brakes on. But that would appear to be over.

    With the likely election of Deval Patrick as governor, we’ll give America a brave new Dukakis, not to mention an advance glance at an Obama administration. Watch and learn. It is perhaps the best 2008 gift we, Massachusetts, could give the GOP.

    More Kennedy. More Kerry - no way he’s going quietly; his Web site now sports a Seattle Post-Intelligencer editorial saying his dumb troops-dumb Bush joke was “right either way.” A rasher of Patrick. Frank in the Democratic House leadership. What more could a Republican candidate in 2008 ask for? … Democratic control of Congress, should it come to pass on Tuesday will offer America the spectacle writ large what Massachusetts offers in miniature.

  • 184 Godfrey // Nov 5, 2006 at 1:53 pm

    Scott: re #178: Are you kidding me? You can be a bit heavy-handed with your line-item veto.

  • 185 Darthmeister // Nov 5, 2006 at 1:59 pm

    #100 Liger, the gay prostitute still failed his lie detector test and Mr. Haggard has consistently denied he had sex with him thought he readily admitted to the more serious legal crime of buying Meth. BTW, I wonder why law enforcement isn’t going after the gay prostitute for admitting he sells drugs? And why are liberals like you not upset at this guy being a gay prostitute and a drug dealer? Is that your family values? Must be. I’m upset for Haggard putting himself in a compromising situation by consorting with a male prostitute and buying Meth. I’ve never defended his behavior, I simply abhor your self-righteous fingerpointing which attempts to politicize a personal issue.

    But liars like you are always jumping to conclusions without the facts, Lieger. Also, we’ve had months if not years and decades to get to the bottom of Kerry’s, Kennedy’s and Clinton’s foibles and conservatives have been 100% right. Where have we been wrong in our “kangaroo courts”? Clinton did what he did in the Oval Office and then claimed it wasn’t sex. He lied to a federal judge and a grand jury and was fined $90K and subsequently stripped of his Arkansas law license for his perjury.

    Kerry said what he said and got nailed for it and we also have a better understanding of his murky evasiveness concerning him wounding himself on two occasions and getting a purple heart each time in Vietnam as well as his outright lies before the Congress in 1971 concerning alleged atrocities that the fraudulent Winter Soldier Investigation perpetrated.

    And Ted Kennedy? Buwahahahahahahaha! He was/is a drunk and he got a woman killed in his Oldsmobile. He’s an embarassment to Massachusetts and the voters are an embarassment putting this unrepentant socialist fraud into office every six years.

    And it looks like bystander just keeps on swilling that liberal media kool-aid. Richard Perle (whom bystander “quoted”) himself condemns the misrepresentations of his views by Vanity Fair.

    Always a rush to judgment with you moonbat trolls. Don’t you know anything about proper documentation? You despicable trolls invariably rely on rumor, half-truths, and misquotes. Why can’t you quit being so partisan and get the story right the first time around?

  • 186 kajun // Nov 5, 2006 at 5:38 pm

    File [pronounced—fileey] Gumbo. You can have them Mudbugs, though—I’ll take the Jambalaya and the some.

  • 187 rbmd // Nov 5, 2006 at 9:15 pm

    Scott, this is the most heartfelt and powerful non-personal piece you have written. You are a patriot and we are proud of you and what you do. Thank you.

  • 188 rbmd // Nov 5, 2006 at 9:18 pm

    Actually I meant my comment about the “Voter Fear Mounts” piece.

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