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U.N. Decries Obama’s Preemptive Nobel Peace Prize

by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace · 18 Comments · · Print This Story Print This Story

(2009-10-09) — United Nations Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon today rejected in the strongest possible terms the deployment of the Nobel Peace Prize to U.S. President Barack Obama, which he said was “reminiscent of George W. Bush’s disastrous doctrine of preemption.”

“The Nobel committee, perhaps persuaded by faulty intelligence and a hyped sense of urgency, made an historic blunder in its rush to judgment,” said Mr. Ban. “When Obama was nominated in February, he had just taken office…so the prize was awarded based on his speeches as a presidential candidate, not even for the good intentions that he has implemented in the past eight months.”

Wei Jingsheng, a Chinese dissident known as ‘the father of Chinese democracy’, is among the 176 nominees who lost to Mr. Obama, but said he was honored to have been edged out by “a man of such staggering accomplishments.”

“I was imprisoned more than 15 years for speaking out against a totalitarian communist regime,” said Mr. Wei, “A book of my essays was published from my writings, initially scribbled on toilet paper in jail. But I have to admit that Barack Obama has written two books and given hundreds of autobiographical speeches with thinner material than that. I bow respectfully to the father of global peace.”

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Tags: Global News · U.S. News

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18 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Upnorthlurkin // Oct 9, 2009 at 1:02 pm

    Oh Scott, you are such a card! Thanks for the giggle to start the day…..wait….WHAT??!!
    You can't be serious! You're kidding, right?!

  • 2 Upnorthlurkin // Oct 9, 2009 at 1:07 pm

    Well, truthfully, it's meant nothing since it was awarded to good old peacenik, Yasser…

    I know….maybe he can have little copies made and distributed to our armed forces to keep them safe while he dithers…..they can wave them at the terrorists….yeah, I'm sure that's going to work…

  • 3 Upnorthlurkin // Oct 9, 2009 at 1:20 pm

    Sorry, I guess the Won really can walk on water….or something….
    The nominations for Nobel had to be in by Feb 1, so Obey-me accomplished all his miracles in a mere two weeks! His Trash America Tour had only just begun…

  • 4 JamesonLewis3rd // Oct 9, 2009 at 1:59 pm

    If BHO is any kind of man, he will not accept the so-called "prize."

  • 5 Libby_Gone // Oct 9, 2009 at 2:00 pm

    It just keeps getting stranger.
    Whats next on his list of accomplishments? Building low cost shacks? Start in Kenya, Canya?

  • 6 Upnorthlurkin // Oct 9, 2009 at 2:03 pm

    Surely you jest….

  • 7 Upnorthlurkin // Oct 9, 2009 at 2:34 pm

    Affirmative Action goes world wide!! I suppose the Norskies felt embarrassed that Obey-me got stung by those racists on the Olympic Committee so they just had to make things right…..heh!
    Probably a Pulitzer is next for his buddy Ayers' Dreams of my Father.

  • 8 Upnorthlurkin // Oct 9, 2009 at 4:19 pm

    Just listened to Urckle accepting the prize "he doesn't deserve" (heh!) . Poor doofus doesn't realize this is a Euro-weenie bribe to lose in Afghanistan. He should be embarrassed. I know, he's not capable of embarrassment.

  • 9 Upnorthlurkin // Oct 9, 2009 at 4:28 pm

    The fly! How can the Norskies award a peace prize to a fly murderer?!

  • 10 Tinman20 // Oct 9, 2009 at 6:48 pm

    "Dammit! I told them to give it to me in 2012!" Obama

  • 11 maieru // Oct 9, 2009 at 7:50 pm

    So…. is The Dear Leader going to donate the prize money to his Acorn friends??…

  • 12 mindknumbedkid // Oct 10, 2009 at 12:51 am

    He doesn't need a bribe to lose in Afghanistan, his intentions have always been to not win.

  • 13 mindknumbedkid // Oct 10, 2009 at 12:54 am

    The possibilty of Obama actually being the triple 6 master just edged up a bit.

  • 14 mindknumbedkid // Oct 10, 2009 at 12:59 am

    Obama saya the money goes to charity, does anyone remember what the other Goron did with the money? I'm wondering if it wasn't used to pay his light bill. This prize is a farce, no one should even acknowledge it henceforth.

  • 15 mindknumbedkid // Oct 10, 2009 at 1:01 am

    Probably, they need it to stay afloat until they can get their government funding restored.

  • 16 Obama Wins Nobel Peace Prize « Justbkuz // Oct 10, 2009 at 1:04 pm

    [...] Not everyone is thrilled. From satirist Scott Ott: [...]

  • 17 camojack // Oct 11, 2009 at 8:31 pm

    Pre-emptive Nobel Peace Prize, eh? What a concept!

  • 18 camojack // Oct 11, 2009 at 8:31 pm

    Preemptive Nobel Peace Prize, eh? What a concept!

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