White House Releases 'Cliffs Notes' of Inaugural Speech
by Scott Ott
(2005-01-21) -- As critics began their dissection of President George Bush's second inaugural address, the White House today released a "more direct" version of the speech, stripped of the soaring poetic highlights of the original, "so that the average public school graduate, journalist and pundit can understand what the president means."
An excerpt of the so-called "Cliffs Notes" version of the speech, portrays U.S. foreign policy in these terms:
"We want freedom everywhere, not because we're crazy dreamers, but because governments held accountable to their people don't launch wars against each other. In the good old days, we could sit back and watch as tyrants tortured the helpless and fortified their arsenals. A rifle in the Middle East, or Asia, was no threat to our shores. Today, a man carrying a briefcase could wipe out millions of Americans in a single afternoon. We can't eliminate the sinful urges of crazed men, but we can help oppressed people to dump their dictators. Kill the snake by cutting off its head."
While veiled in the rhetorical flourishes of his official address, the speech also contains a message to the United Nations which seems more clear in the simplified version.
"The United Nations charter says the organization exists to...
-- 'take effective collective measures for the prevention and removal of threats to the peace' and
-- ''to reaffirm faith in fundamental human rights, in the dignity and worth of the human person, in the equal rights of men and women and of nations large and small' and
-- 'to develop friendly relations among nations based on respect for the principle of equal rights and self-determination of peoples, and to take other appropriate measures to strengthen universal peace.'
"Well, that's all good. Now, let's start doing some of that stuff. Right now, the United Nations is united only in shared office space in New York. We have nothing in common with non-democratic regimes. Their presence in the U.N. gives aid and comfort to an enemy. People always talk about the legitimacy that the U.N. can bring. That's true. The U.N. brings legitimacy to dictators as they crush the hopes of millions. Negotiating with tyrants is a waste of time that only lets them gear up for eventual armed conflict, either with their own freedom-starved people or with other nations that recognize the threat too late. All I'm saying is, why wait?"
"We hear a lot about the so-called tensions between us and Europe. But think about it -- no matter how testy things get, there will never be a shooting war between us and France as long as we both remain democracies. We hold these truths to be self-evident."
While critics complained that the president devoted little attention to domestic issues, the summary text attempts to address their concerns.
"I could talk all day about Social Security reform, tort reform, public school reform, welfare reform or a hundred other domestic issues. But a single dirty bomb, or reservoir poisoning, or falling skyscraper would put all of those issues on the back burner in a flash. I've laid out my vision for many domestic issues, but freedom is the foundation on which they all stand. You want to know what we should do to improve the economy? Here it is: foster freedom around the world to reduce the number of people who are willing to die in order to end our way of life. It's supply and demand. We want to cut off the supply of those who demand the destruction of America and western civilization."
Finally, the new manuscript addresses concerns many have raised about Mr. Bush's frequent invocation of "God."
"While a lot of folks get offended that I talk about God, I don't think God gets offended."
A White House spokesman said the revised version will soon be available in French, German, Russian, Farsi, Korean, Mandarin and Arabic.
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