Top Headlines...
:: Dean: Celebrate 2,000th Iraq Death with Dignity
:: Bush: Miers Views Not Clouded by Legal Scholarship
:: CNN Poll: Bush Would Lose Election or Be Arrested
:: Iraq Constitution Approval Another Setback for Bush
:: Sen. Coburn Offers Compromise 'Bridge to Everywhere'
:: NY Times Editor Vows Not to Be Distracted by Scandal
:: Exiled Rove Will Volunteer to Think for Bush
:: Spotlight on Miers' 'Inadequate and Insulting' Answers
:: Citing Privacy Right, Miers Rejects Roe Questions
:: Republicans to Cut Spending, Dems Back Abortion Ban
Scott Ott Premiere Speakers Bureau
Scott Ott Speaks
to Your Organization

November 11, 2004
Coroner: Arafat Died of Tilex Poisoning
by Scott Ott

(2004-11-11) -- The coroner for the Palestinian Authority today announced that former Chairman Yassir Arafat died from "acute Tilex poisoning," and blamed the CIA and Mossad, the Israeli intelligence service.

"Infidel agents infiltrated Chairman Arafat's personal quarters and sprayed his bathtub with Tilex, a deadly toxin to certain lifeforms," said an unnamed spokesman for the coroner. "We believe the bathtub was poisoned up to two years ago, but Chairman Arafat's exposure came only recently, due to his personal hygiene schedule."

The coroner said his report "ensures Mr. Arafat's status as a martyr, which helps to overcome his shameful legacy as the man who signed a peace accord with Israel."

Donate | More Satire | Printer-Friendly |
Email this entry to: Your email address:
Message (optional):