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March 05, 2003
Moseley-Braun Drops Hyphen, Hopes for Sponsor Deal

(2003-03-05) -- In a bid to increase her name recognition and differentiate herself from the growing pack of Democrat presidential hopefuls, former lawmaker Carol Moseley Braun has dropped the hyphen in her compound last name. Her campaign has asked news organizations to refer to her as simply 'Braun' in second references.

The stunning announcement by campaign spokesman Kevin Lampe is designed to prepare the way for a sponsorship deal with Braun GmbH, maker of small electrical appliances for the home.

While the company and the campaign are still negotiating over the details of the arrangement, it reportedly calls for the candidate to make casual references to Braun products during stump speeches.

Former Sen. Braun (AKA former Sen. Moseley-Braun), said she's delighted with the change.

"After we made the decision to drop the hyphen," she said, "I brewed a cup of coffee in my Braun AromaDeluxe coffeemaker to celebrate."

by Scott Ott | Donate | | Comments (7) | More Satire | Printer-Friendly
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I know the daughter of the inventor of the Braun coffemaker...she's nothing like the Senator & is in fact a very nice lady.

Posted by: Rita at March 5, 2003 08:29 AM

If the Braun deal doesn't work out, perhaps a small spelling change in her last name. Then she can be the new Brawny Man.

Posted by: MensaMan at March 5, 2003 09:33 AM

Is she changing her first name to Eva?

Posted by: Alex Knapp at March 5, 2003 10:54 AM

Riddle me this...

"Oh Carol ! I am but a fool,
Darling, I love you,
Though you treat me cruel
You hurt me,
And you make me cry
But if you leave me
I will surely die." ..... laughing.

Who am I ?

Answer: Congress.

Posted by: Neil Sad-Daka at March 5, 2003 11:49 AM

Actually, I heard that Donna Brazile wants her to change her name to Al Sharpton so it confuses voters when they see two Sharptons on the ballot, thereby neutralizing the real Al. I've also heard that Donna has asked the same of Dick Gephardt, John Kerry, John Edwards, Howard Dean, Joe Lieberman, and Al Sharpton!

Posted by: John Lemon at March 5, 2003 05:50 PM

I guess since I'm boycotting german products, I'll have to boycott her as well.

Oh, wait a minute, she's a democrat.

Then I was already boycotting her for stupidity.

My bad.

Carry on.

Posted by: Okie Dokie at March 5, 2003 07:48 PM


"Ms Braun is recovering nicely from her hyphen reduction elective surgery." Her Doctor reported, "It is regrettable that we couldn't do a brain augmentation at the same time. Natural brains and Braun are certainly more desirable but it its a rare phenomenon. But augmentation of the brain, like its counter part, cloning; is still under-researched and controversial. Besides, if she had a brain, she might become dangerous. It could be a high risk procedure."

Posted by: Phrog Poet at March 6, 2003 11:06 AM
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