ScrappleFace500.gif
Top Headlines...
:: Arafat May Soon Sign Death Certificate
:: Specter Backs Ashcroft for Next Supreme Court Opening
:: NJ Gov. McGreevey Leaves Office with Mandate
:: Specter Backs Partial-Burial Abortion for Arafat
:: Specter Retracts Ill-Conceived Abortion Remarks
:: Bush Swats Kofi Annan with Rolled Newspaper
:: Arafat Burial Plans Done in Time for Final Death
:: P. Diddy Survives 'Vote or Die' Attempt
:: Kerry Plan: White House Run Hid True Ambition
:: Bush Declares End of Major Campaign Operations

November 04, 2002
Ryder Helps DNC Grab Last-Minute Votes

(2002-11-04) -- The Democrat National Committee is hoping actress Winona Ryder will boost its chances of snatching victory from the jaws of defeat.

The DNC recruited Ryder to quietly pick up some votes on election eve.

"We're not making a big deal out of it," said DNC chairman Terry McAuliffe. "But with her fame, we think Winona will leave each district she visits with a few more votes in her pocket."

Ms. Ryder's publicist said she won't be paid for her efforts, and that she's "just doing it for the thrill of it."

Although the Republican Party is normally critical of Democrat tactics, a GOP spokesman said, "Well, at least she won't be paying for the votes."

by Scott Ott | Donate | | Comments (3) | More Satire | Printer-Friendly
Buy "Axis of Weasels," the first book by Scott Ott. $12.95 + S&H;
Email this entry to: Your email address:
Message (optional):
Skip to Comments Form

Winona is actually researching a part for her next movie, Primary Colors II.

Posted by: the talking dog at November 5, 2002 02:14 PM

In other developments there's rumor circulating that Terry McAuliffe, DNC Chairman, has hired Ms. Monica Lewinsky to keep track of the many tight races across the country.

Mr. McAuliffe was quoted as saying, "Ms. Lewinsky has demonstrated a remarkable talent for taking a political pole."

Posted by: Ralph Gizzip at November 5, 2002 08:01 PM

It looks like she may son be making women-in-prison movies.

Posted by: the talking dog at November 6, 2002 04:15 PM
0A
100 Recent Comments
Access the 100 most recent ScrappleFace reader comments, with links to the stories and to commenter archives.
ScrappleFace Headlines