(2009-06-03) — After announcing that the United States is “one of the largest Muslim countries in the world“, with an Islamic population soon to overtake number 50 (Mauritania), President Barack Obama today boasted that the U.S. is also the second largest Jewish nation on earth, “and moving up fast”.
“Only Israel has more Jews than us,” said President Obama. “and we’re catching up. Like our productive American Muslims, our Jews are working hard to make us number one in the world.”
The president said his administration would soon unveil a “religious stimulus proposal” designed to make the U.S. the largest Hindu nation on earth, as well as to overcome “the shocking Buddhist deficit and the shameful dearth of Taoists.”
The president’s plan will promote increased immigration of under-represented religious devotees from nations that have a surplus.
Funding for marketing and transportation will come from a modest tax on the weekly offerings of Christian churches, “since followers of Jesus are relatively plentiful and wealthy.”
70 responses so far ↓
1 Laughing@You // Jun 3, 2009 at 2:46 pm
Once again I have the honor of being first! You all were waiting for me, weren’t you?
Everthink?
2 MajorDomo // Jun 3, 2009 at 4:29 pm
It is very difficult to satirize someone who is a satire of himself, but you’ve succeeded, Scott. Great work, especially that “religious stimulus”!!
3 IndyJohn // Jun 3, 2009 at 4:34 pm
The world is quickly learning that Obama is the founder of his own religion. He is neither a Christian, as he claims, nor a Muslim, as his detractors claim. He is an Obamian. He worships himself. He believes that he has god-like powers to heal humanity’s wounds and bestow upon all of us peace, prosperity, and fulfillment. The masses should follow the lead of the American Media and grovel at his historic feet. All praise to the wise, munificent, and saintly Obama!
4 boberinyetagain // Jun 3, 2009 at 6:04 pm
And here I thought that there were more Jews in New York than there were in Israel.
Are your facts correct Mr. Ott? Either way, the piece is priceless as always…love this part!
The president’s plan will promote increased immigration of under-represented religious devotees from nations that have a surplus.
A fine plan…anyone except the Irish!
Off for more scraping and painting…granddaughter coming soon!
5 Scott Ott // Jun 3, 2009 at 6:28 pm
Israel 5,600,000
United States 5,275,000
6 camojack // Jun 3, 2009 at 7:04 pm
Oy vey… :rolleyes:
7 Ms RightWing, Ink // Jun 3, 2009 at 7:09 pm
Okay, so what about the Indians? Or did John Wayne and Gabby Hayes shoot all of them. They were quite content in their world without wheels until the Jews and Muslims came around.
’nuff said. Now back into my darkroom.
8 Fred Sinclair // Jun 3, 2009 at 9:00 pm
Update on “touch table” sent to me by gafisher (thanks gary) simply amazing!
Look at the (different) Touch Table demo at the link below; toward the end they demonstrate an enhancement called the Terrain Table that will floor you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2pPeW4cUgU
9 Fred Sinclair // Jun 3, 2009 at 9:36 pm
“At least these Party Democrats have one thing right, their party’s symbol is a Jackass.” [Rush Limbaugh]
Gee Whiz – it’s only fair to give credit where credit is due.
Once again, maintaining his independently verified rating of “99.2% always right”.
10 Darthmeister // Jun 3, 2009 at 10:43 pm
I wonder when liberals will start dunking the Koran in a bucket of urine since they pride themselves on being equal opportunity offenders. Oh wait, Muslim fundamentalists are more than happy to behead infidels for desecrating the Koran. I guess liberals had better watch who they offend now … but Christians are still fair game. Nothing like consistent ideals, eh?
And speaking of Comrade Obama. From Reuters …
Venezuela’s Chavez: Comrade Obama Is More Left-wing Than Us
“Us” being Castro and Chavez. You know, this is the first thing the commie thug Chavez has said that actually happens to be right!
11 Fred Sinclair // Jun 3, 2009 at 11:41 pm
While reading a few pearls of wisdom from the computer keyboards of our resident trolls, they taught me what I now call, “The Law of the Garbage Truck.”
I came to understand that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage — frustration, anger, disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they’ll dump it on you.
I decided not take it personally. I just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on.
I don’t take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.
The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don’t.
Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!
12 Fred Sinclair // Jun 4, 2009 at 12:27 am
Please take a couple of minutes and watch this. If you can have your children and grandchildren with you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPbIls0iOnI
13 Laughing@You // Jun 4, 2009 at 12:49 am
General David Petraeus – the figure lauded by conservatives and the person chosen by Bush and Cheney to sell the surge to Congress – said the following to Fox News in regards to criticisms of President Obama for taking “enhanced interrogation techniques” off the table:
Gen. Petraeus: “Well, actually what I would ask is, ‘Does that not take away from our enemies a tool which again have beaten us around the head and shoulders in the court of public opinion?’ When we have taken steps that have violated the Geneva Conventions we rightly have been criticized, so as we move forward I think it’s important to again live our values, to live the agreements that we have made in the international justice arena and to practice those.”
On Sunday, General Ricardo Sanchez, the former commander of all coalition forces in Iraq, called for a truth commission to investigate the abuses and torture which occurred there.
General Sanchez also stated, “during my time in Iraq there was not one instance of actionable intelligence that came out of these interrogation techniques.”
You poor folks, especially the Darthmeister, are never right about anything!
Everthink?
14 ScottOtt // Jun 4, 2009 at 9:42 am
Note: The vast IT staff at ScrappleFace is installing a new comment system with enhanced features. All of your old comments will still appear, but now you will have the ability to respond to a previous commenter directly under his relevant comment. The login link for your existing ScrappleFace account appears under the comment box. You can also subscribe to replies or all new comments, which will send you an email when someone engages with you in discussion here. You'll discover other interesting features as time goes by. The new system, however, does not have the technology to make one civil, winsome or logical. We're counting on you to continue to make ScrappleFace a family-friendly site where intelligent discussion brings intellectual illumination, where we attempt not to destroy, but to persuade our ideological opponents.. (If you need to repent, now is a good time, while the new comment system installs.)
15 Michael Zvi Krumbein // Jun 4, 2009 at 10:02 am
Nice! Just like IsraelyCool, my second favorite blog (next to this one).
New York has more Jews than any CITY in Israel, since our cities are pretty small. Unfortunately, the US is unlikely to catch up, as American Jewry slowly commits suicide through assimilation. On the other hand, the Jewish population of both countries is likely to grow, as Europe rushes headlong back to the middle ages. Do you that French Jews have asked for religious refugee status?
16 boberinyetagain // Jun 4, 2009 at 10:17 am
Wow, Scott is, as always, "the man"…gettin all techie on us! Nice
17 gafisher // Jun 4, 2009 at 11:28 am
Isn't that the same General Petraeus you and your comrades called "General Betray-us" when you disagreed with him?
18 gafisher // Jun 4, 2009 at 11:32 am
I'm not sure it's accurate to call "liberals … equal opportunity offenders," Darth. For example, I can't think of an instance when they tried to offend America's enemies (admittedly most of our enemies find them disgusting — though useful — for that very reason).
19 gafisher // Jun 4, 2009 at 11:45 am
Ah, Ms. RW, there is no country in the world that comes even close to the U.S. in allegiance to what's at least perceived to have been the American Indian Religion — you know: talk to the animals, venerate the Earth Mother, drug-induced "worship," the whole schmeer. We haven't quite worked our way up to the historically more accurate "kill your neighbors and steal their women" part yet, but at least we can shed a tear for roadside litter.
20 gafisher // Jun 4, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Very nice, Scott! Perhaps this won't make us "civil, winsome or logical," but the inclusion of the edit and delete functions ought to at least help us correct our occasional stumbles. Might do a lot for our spelling and grammar as well.
21 gafisher // Jun 4, 2009 at 12:20 pm
Very nice, Scott! Perhaps this won't make us "civil, winsome or logical," but the inclusion of the edit and delete functions ought to at least help us correct our occasional stumbles. Might do a lot for our spelling and grammar as well.
22 JamesonLewis3rd // Jun 4, 2009 at 12:40 pm
A Democrat idol speaks:
– Rep. Henry Waxman (D-CA), 13 April 2009
23 boberinyetagain // Jun 4, 2009 at 12:43 pm
Wouldn't want the tundra floating away now would we? That'd probably be bad.
24 onlineanalyst // Jun 4, 2009 at 12:47 pm
FWIW, L@Y: Andy McCarthy responds to General Petraeus's remarks about Gitmo and the Geneva Conventions and deems them incorrect.If you take the time to read his reasoning, I think that you will have to think twice about citing Gen. Petraeus as the authority on the issue. I truly value what Gen. Petraeus has accomplished on behalf of our nation, but I am more inclined to agree with McCarthy. For two quick examples, Gen. Petraeus offers no concrete examples of our failure to follow the GC (for there are none) and the jihadists have used the incarceration of the blind shiekh in a federal prison as their foremost recruiting tool.
25 onlineanalyst // Jun 4, 2009 at 12:51 pm
I don't know why my Petraeus link is not pciking up, but here it is again:
http://corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=NjFkMDM5...
26 boberinyetagain // Jun 4, 2009 at 12:53 pm
Thats probably how Santa get airborn…if the tundra floats most likely the reindeer do too. They eat the tundra…right?
27 Ms RightWing, Ink // Jun 4, 2009 at 1:12 pm
I hope OB1's speeches over in Muslimoplis doesn't turn into Mar's Attack with everyone blowing up and making a horrible mess.
28 Ms RightWing, Ink // Jun 4, 2009 at 1:16 pm
I want my pretty picture on Scrappleface too!
Do we have to sign in every time, including websites and all?
29 Ms RightWing, Ink // Jun 4, 2009 at 1:20 pm
I just lost my last two postings. Do I need to repent?
30 Ms RightWing, Ink // Jun 4, 2009 at 1:24 pm
Why do my comments disappear?? It has happened 3 times
31 R.A.M. // Jun 4, 2009 at 2:22 pm
Being able to correct spelling errors might even make "Yapping@Ankles" look a little less ignorant?
Nah, forget I said that! Looking less ignorant isn't going to EVER happen with the yapping Chihuahua! haha
32 R.A.M. // Jun 4, 2009 at 2:24 pm
I am not sure BUT, if you find out what causes it, PLEASE let us know so we can apply whatever it was to "Yapping Chihuahua's" comments.
33 R.A.M. // Jun 4, 2009 at 2:37 pm
I tried to sound the alarm, (even before the election), that Barack Hussein Obama was a Muslim. Not only did few listen, some websites even deleted posts that even mentioned the FACT that he might be.
I hope you libs are happy now that Obama is, day by day, destroying our ONCE great Country!
No simple declaration of "The National Day of Prayer" from Obama but on Monday he acknowledges and trumpets June 2009 being a month of PRIDE for depraved sexual perverts!
Now that Tiller is no longer a member at that "Church" he attended, maybe Obama can join?
Sounds like they might have his same "values" and "morals", (or LACK of any!)
34 R.A.M. // Jun 4, 2009 at 2:45 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bUxi_Eo6fU
I don't know how they got it but, I found this video of the "Yapping Chihuahua" taking his morning 'constitutional' on YouTube.
PS: Why do perverts ALWAYS get the best commercials banned from TV?
35 JAQ // Jun 4, 2009 at 2:55 pm
Obama's no more a Muslim than he is a Christian, R.A.M. Muslims abhor homosexuality at least as much as Christians.
I never have believed all those conspiracy theories that Obama was just an undercover Muslim in Christian clothing; rather, I think he's an atheistic, humanistic extremist. He seems to truly believe that mankind can accomplish anything we set our minds to.
Be wary of any plans he initiates to build a tower that reaches to the heavens…
36 boberinyetagain // Jun 4, 2009 at 3:05 pm
Where do you come up with this stuff? Does it just appear to you in a dream? You seem an intelligent person but rants like this make me wonder.
37 Ms RightWing, Ink // Jun 4, 2009 at 3:05 pm
My comments have returned. Never mind.
Gee wilakers, I take a Scrapple sabbatical then have to learn how to maneuver around the new boulevards again.
38 boberinyetagain // Jun 4, 2009 at 3:31 pm
Blazing fast to post a new comment! Some features work, some don't…some work one time then not the next. Still getting the bugs out I suppose.
39 gafisher // Jun 4, 2009 at 3:32 pm
Must all your comments be off-topic, Laughing?
Wondering?
40 gafisher // Jun 4, 2009 at 3:33 pm
Must all your comments be off-topic, Laughing?
Wondering?
41 gafisher // Jun 4, 2009 at 3:46 pm
"… there’s a lot of tundra that’s being held down by that ice cap. "
Like most global-
whining-warming hype, this is untrue, of course. When submarines like the Nautilus sail beneath the North Polar ice cap they aren't plowing through tundra.42 gafisher // Jun 4, 2009 at 3:46 pm
"… there’s a lot of tundra that’s being held down by that ice cap. "
Like most global-
whining-warming hype, this is untrue, of course. When submarines like the Nautilus sail beneath the North Polar ice cap they aren't plowing through tundra.43 IndyJohn // Jun 4, 2009 at 4:05 pm
Former Vice-President Cheney claims that 60% of our actionable intelligence after 9/11 came from sources on whom enhanced interrogation techniques were used. NO ONE has disagreed with his assessment. Obama won't release the records which contain the information received from those interrogations, because to do so would destroy the left-wing narrative. 'Nuff said.
44 boberinyetagain // Jun 4, 2009 at 4:09 pm
Page 1?…Page 2? Sometimes on one page, sometimes there are 2…if I post on number one, does it come up on number 2? Probably…still a tad buggy but kinda cool just the same
45 Bill O’Reilly Talking Points: Obama, Muslims & Michael Corleone | artoftalk.tv // Jun 4, 2009 at 12:28 pm
[...] Obama: American Muslims, Jews Work to Make U.S. No. 1 (scrappleface.com) [...]
46 ScottOtt // Jun 4, 2009 at 4:52 pm
Looks like the new gizmo will display 40 comments per page. If your comment doesn't display immediately, refresh your browser. To Add a Picture, click the Edit Profile link in the upper right after you're logged in.
47 JAQ // Jun 4, 2009 at 6:22 pm
I had to re-create my account in order to post on the new system; apparently, IntenseDebate didn't like my two-character username ("JQ") from WordPress.
48 boberinyetagain // Jun 4, 2009 at 7:01 pm
The picture up now looks just like me!
The little thumbs don't seem to do anything for me…i've seen folks go up or down but either one I hit does nothing, then I've seen the "ranking" dissappear. The "comment on a comment" feature is pretty cool, will keep the overall thread shorter…but you have to run through all posts to see if any were added…but pretty cool all the same!
49 Stimulating Religion « Justbkuz // Jun 4, 2009 at 3:54 pm
[...] June 4, 2009 in Justbkuz I Like It | Tags: Obama, religion, Satire, stimulus From satirist Scott Ott: Obama: American Muslims, Jews Work to Make U.S. No. 1 [...]
50 boberinyetagain // Jun 4, 2009 at 8:28 pm
I do believe you've befuddled the masses Mr. Ott!
They'll catch on…I hope I do
51 JamesonLewis3rd // Jun 4, 2009 at 8:53 pm
The transcendent Democrat guru speaks:
…..et cetera and so on.
52 JamesonLewis3rd // Jun 4, 2009 at 8:54 pm
The transcendent Democrat guru speaks:
…..et cetera and so on.
53 JamesonLewis3rd // Jun 4, 2009 at 8:54 pm
The transcendent Democrat guru speaks:
…..et cetera and so on.
54 mindknumbedkid // Jun 4, 2009 at 11:10 pm
You can teach n old dog new tricks, but he may not like them as well as his old ones. So far I like it. I'l like it even better if this comment posts!
55 onlineanalyst // Jun 5, 2009 at 12:09 am
I found the symposium responding to Obama's Cairo speech of interest, especially the analyses of those whose roots are in the ME: http://article.nationalreview.com/?q=Mzk4ZTgyNDI5...
The upshot is that Obama's version of achieving peace is one where dhimmitude will have to determine the West's behavior.
56 onlineanalyst // Jun 5, 2009 at 12:31 am
VDH shares some hard truths with Obama. High-toned rhetoric and false equivalences ignore the realities of history and the real poisons that have infected the ME and keep it from flourishing.
57 onlineanalyst // Jun 5, 2009 at 12:32 am
http://article.nationalreview.com/?q=NDExN2FiZTY3...
58 Ms RightWing, Ink // Jun 5, 2009 at 1:35 am
And here I was just getting used to the crank telephone.
MNK
was that you on e-bay from Wyoming?
59 R.A.M. // Jun 5, 2009 at 1:58 am
The lib media is all over people that have chastised Tiller and claiming that "talk" for "causing" his death. If they are right, then why are they NOT all over Obama for his "talk" to the Muslim community this morning where he brought up AGAIN that "we", (American soldiers), have tortured Muslims/terrorists, and he is closing Gitmo, only 3 days after a Muslim murdered one soldier and wounded another and has already said he did it because of how the military treated soldiers, (or rather how libs and the lib media have exploited that same lie to incite Muslim fanatics!
Isn't Obama guilty if any more soldiers are now attacked and/or killed since he KNOWINGLY incited Muslims AFTER he already knew that Muslim fanatics have killed American soldiers only 3 SHORT DAYS AGO?????
I really want an answer libs!!!
60 onlineanalyst // Jun 5, 2009 at 2:33 am
Over at HotAir, "Jelly Toast" made the following observation about Obama:
"If you didn’t know Obama was suppose to be President of the US,, and all you ever did was listen to these speeches you might think he was hiding in some hole or cave in Afghanistan sending out messages to his Islamic followers."
61 JamesonLewis3rd // Jun 5, 2009 at 11:07 am
BHO is not exactly effeminate but because of his giddy groveling before barbarian tyrants, I find myself expecting him to curtsy and giggle.
62 JamesonLewis3rd // Jun 5, 2009 at 11:07 am
BHO is not exactly effeminate but because of his giddy groveling before barbarian tyrants, I find myself expecting him to curtsy and giggle.
63 JamesonLewis3rd // Jun 5, 2009 at 11:07 am
BHO is not exactly effeminate but because of his giddy groveling before barbarian tyrants, I find myself expecting him to curtsy and giggle.
64 JamesonLewis3rd // Jun 5, 2009 at 11:07 am
BHO is not exactly effeminate but because of his giddy groveling before barbarian tyrants, I find myself expecting him to curtsy and giggle.
65 JamesonLewis3rd // Jun 5, 2009 at 11:07 am
BHO is not exactly effeminate but because of his giddy groveling before barbarian tyrants, I find myself expecting him to curtsy and giggle.
66 JamesonLewis3rd // Jun 5, 2009 at 11:21 am
Yes, the "torture" meme has taken on the characteristics of an urban myth. Even though there never was any torture, it's taken for granted that there was because "everybody says so." It is really sad—another pathetic example of mass hypnosis along the lines of "global warming." BHO is an adherent of dozens of diverse mythologies.
67 gafisher // Jun 5, 2009 at 11:54 am
JL3, BHO isn't effeminate but when dealing with fellow totalitarians he's certainly subservient.
68 Fred Sinclair // Jun 5, 2009 at 4:32 pm
I continue to be amazed by people who claim that the 2nd Amendment GIVES them the RIGHT to own and bear arms. I cannot count the number of times I've read that amendment and I have yet to find where it GIVES anyone anything. "The right of the people…" simply acknowledges an EXISTING RIGHT and provides PROTECTION to the effect that that RIGHT cannot have any Federal strings attached to it (infringed).
The right to self defense is absolute. Whether one employes firearms, bow and arrows, clubs, rocks or heavy ashtrays, everyone has the RIGHT to not be a victim.
Luke 22:36 Then said he unto them, But now, he that hath a purse, let him take it, and likewise his scrip: and he that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one.
The sword (of which Peter said they already had two) is generally thought to be the "Roman short sword" the blade length varied from 18" – 22" in length and was virtually useless for anything except close range self defense [state of the art in it's day] today the handgun is the primary, state of the art, weapon for close range self defense.
It should not be out of line to claim that we believers have a Scriptural command to carry a handgun for purposes of self defense. Which makes the requirement for any Federal restriction automatically invalid.
So called "Concealed Carry Permits" are nothing but a governmental attempt to control their serfs. They should be given the same level of obedience as you would give to a Federal mandate that only those people with a Government issued permit are allowed to breath air or drink water. Self defense is just as vital as air and water – arguably more vital to one's life.
69 JamesonLewis3rd // Jun 5, 2009 at 7:21 pm
Meanwhile, BHO's overall demeanor (when viewed objectively, in full context) depicts his true motives with ever-increasing clarity; he drank some of that 1968-ish vintage cool-aid somewhere along the line, the symptoms are all there, and that's not a good thing.
70 Crainiac // Jun 5, 2009 at 11:52 pm
Ah Mr Sinclair:
Talking about garbagemen, from my readings of your scrappler comments you are the ultimate expert in waste engineering, to be PC about the trade.
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