ScrappleFace editor Scott Ott writes columns for The Washington Examiner on Tuesdays and Fridays. Below are excerpts of this week’s columns and links to read more.
Obama Declares Gitmo Detainees to be ‘Fetuses’
By: Scott Ott, Examiner Columnist 5/22/09
In an effort to shut down the U.S. Naval Detention Center at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, thereby restoring America’s moral standing in the world, President Barack Obama today declared some 240 enemy combatants held at Gitmo to be ‘human fetuses’.
In an executive order, the president said, “Since I ordered Gitmo shut down, and people don’t want us to bring the inmates here, the only way to extract them from the facility is to change their legal status to one that offers us more choices.”
READ THE REST…
GM says no problem for new drone in meeting emissions, fuel standards
By: Scott Ott, Examiner Columnist 5/19/09
General Motors, part of the automaking division of the U.S. government, today announced it would have no problem meeting or surpassing the Obama administration’s stricter emissions and mileage standards, thanks to a new gas-stingy model for 2010 called the GM Drone UTV.
The new rules, designed to bring the United States into compliance with planet-friendly standards in neighboring California, will make American cars 30 percent cleaner, more fuel efficient and less ubiquitous by the year 2016.
READ THE REST…
34 responses so far ↓
1 boberinyetagain // May 22, 2009 at 8:02 am
Interesting idea…something/anything would be better. Let’s give it a shot…the Gitmo thing…
Good stuff Scott!
2 gafisher // May 22, 2009 at 8:14 am
There may be a problem. It’s being reported that ACORN has already registered 270% of those Gitmo Fatah-ses as Democrats, with firm commitments from many more.
3 gafisher // May 22, 2009 at 8:24 am
Chrysler-GovCorp has adopted a slightly different design philosophy in its proposed “green-tech” offering (photo here).
4 boberinyetagain // May 22, 2009 at 8:32 am
ga, love the picture! sadly, that seems about right…where we’re heading…of course is we turn all the corn into ethanol then that contraption won’t have any fuel…everything’s a trade off
5 Obama Declares Gitmo Detainees ‘Fetuses’ // May 22, 2009 at 8:45 am
[...] Scott Ott’s latest parody news story: In an effort to shut down the U.S. Naval Detention Center at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, thereby restoring America’s moral standing in the world, President Barack Obama today declared some 240 enemy combatants held at Gitmo to be ‘human fetuses’. [...]
6 boberinyetagain // May 22, 2009 at 12:48 pm
Must be a holiday weekend…except I have to work tomorrow…boo hoo!
7 Laughing@You // May 22, 2009 at 2:14 pm
From: President Barack Obama
Friend –
The chance to finally reform our nation’s health care system is here. While Congress moves rapidly to produce a detailed plan, I have made it clear that real reform must uphold three core principles — it must reduce costs, guarantee choice, and ensure quality care for every American.
As we know, challenging the status quo will not be easy. Its defenders will claim our goals are too big, that we should once again settle for half measures and empty talk. Left unanswered, these voices of doubt might yet again derail the comprehensive reform we so badly need. That’s where you come in.
When our opponents spread fear and confusion about the changes we seek, your support for these core principles will show clarity and resolve. When the lobbyists for the status quo tell Congress to hold back, your personal story will give them the courage to press forward.
Join my call: Ask Congress to pass real health care reform in 2009.
After adding your name, please consider sharing your personal story about the importance of health care reform in your life and the lives of those you love.
I will be personally reviewing many of these signatures and stories. If you speak up now, your voice will make a difference.
http://my.barackobama.com/HealthCareOrganizing
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This email was sent to 35,000.000 Americans.
Now, you have a copy. Can we count on your support?
Everthink?
8 boberinyetagain // May 22, 2009 at 2:56 pm
MS…Welcome back! I’ve been thinking about you, how you were. I was quite concerned! I figure you’ll find your way over here to this thread soon enough.
Scott changed the way the current posts works/is listed…it’s thrown quite a few off the track but I know you’ll figure it out.
So…where you been (I have an idea…) and how the heck are you now?
9 camojack // May 22, 2009 at 3:16 pm
Declare ‘em fetuses, eh? Then do with them what he thinks is best?
10 gafisher // May 22, 2009 at 4:54 pm
Bober Re#6: Move to Michigan and it’s likely you wouldn’t be working even if you wanted to. Plenty of space here — on average six weeks ago we were losing a working-age family every twelve minutes, and now they’re fleeing even faster.
11 JamesonLewis3rd // May 22, 2009 at 6:21 pm
http://www.redstate.com/blog/2009/05/22/big-speech-small-man/
12 JamesonLewis3rd // May 22, 2009 at 6:32 pm
Synopsis (of this):
13 Darthmeister // May 22, 2009 at 7:06 pm
Gitmo detainees are to be considered fetuses? Wouldn’t that mean Obama could have them dismembered or drowned in saline solution and liberals everywhere will applaud! Nothing like freedom of choice to deal with unwanted
terroristsIslamofetuses, eh? Why didn’t our side think of that?Despot Obama starts up his own state-controlled media!
Can you imagine the libtard outrage if President Bush had attempted to control White House “news” in this manner? I guess the Donks will show Pravda how state controlled “news” services are really run – and it will only get more interesting if gov’mint actually starts bailing out news services during this oh so difficult times.
BTW, has anyone else noticed how braindead libs are crowing about how “patriotic” it is to “sacrifice” for ones country during hard times? Of course it’s the profligate Donk Congress and the Obama Administration that have deepened the recession and unemployment thus forcing many of us to sacrifice our former living standards and retirement nest egg.
Oh, I forgot, after five months of Obamanation it’s still BUSH’S FAULT!
14 JamesonLewis3rd // May 22, 2009 at 7:28 pm
As Rep. Ron Paul once wrote:
“Hate crime laws not only violate the First Amendment, they also violate the Tenth Amendment. Under the United States Constitution, there are only three federal crimes: piracy, treason, and counterfeiting. All other criminal matters are left to the individual states. Any federal legislation dealing with criminal matters not related to these three issues usurps state authority over criminal law and takes a step toward turning the states into mere administrative units of the federal government.”
15 Ms RightWing, Ink // May 22, 2009 at 8:34 pm
Just putting my foot in the door long enough to say hi.
16 mindknumbed kid // May 22, 2009 at 8:41 pm
C’mon in, visit a spell. Good place to rest your weary bones…
17 onlineanalyst // May 22, 2009 at 10:51 pm
It’s too bad that the failed Obama administration continues to conflate Abu Graib with Gitmo in the public’s mind. The former rogue miscreants were dealt with through military justice. The latter is a place for enemy combatants whose release or transportation to our shores would create dangers to our security.
Wake up, neverthink. Consider these ramifications. Look beyond your partisanship.
18 Ms RightWing, Ink // May 23, 2009 at 1:37 am
boberinyetagain
Well, first of all thanks for the kind words. I appreciate it. I have been pretty busy on a new project which I will explain later.
I’m trying my hands at capitalism again, which isn’t easy in an economy where folks don’t necessarily want to spend their money.
The economy doesn’t work if people don’t spend at least some of their earnings. That is what I am trying to do–make people spread the wealth.
More later. I need to get some rest.
God bless each and every one of you all until the next time.
19 Laughing@You // May 23, 2009 at 2:23 am
onlineanalyst,
“Wake up, neverthink. Consider these ramifications. Look beyond your partisanship.”
I am as awake as I am going to ever be.
If it’s not one thing it’s another with you folks. It’s not like you haven’t been wrong before in the matter of terrorism (and so many other things).
We went to war because Cheney trumped up lies and misinformation. And, he did it well enough to frighten a certain simple minded, megalomaniac. The same stuff that scares you now, is the baseless nonsense that enabled our attack on Iraq on the basis that they had weapons of mass destruction, AND a Al-Qaeda connection.
We have spent hundreds of billions of dollars, and sacrificed almost 5,000 young Americans only to find out that was NOT TRUE.
Cheney claims water boarding produced the answers which supported his claims!
So much for intelligence produced by water-boarding!
To cover his evil backside he had a couple of spineless wimps render a phony legal opinion (It didn’t even take water-boarding to make those little neo’s-cons turn, real men they were)!
Cheney is an evil and paranoid spook, and you here are are dumb as you ever were. I am at a loss to understand why you can’t judge him by his past record.
Cheney is afraid he will be prosecuted for wars crimes!!! That’s is his only motivation!!!
Did you see Mankow’s water-boarding on TV? Did you hear what he said about it?
You know “24″ is fiction, don’t you?
The numbers of men released from Gitmo, who rejoined the fight, being offered is a crock! There are a few, but Bush released them not Obama (before you start lying about that too)!
Say, remember that stuff you all used to say about Michelle? Have you seen her numbers?
Everthink?
20 Darthmeister // May 23, 2009 at 3:49 am
I wonder when the Treasury Department will get around to designing the new trillion dollar bill with Barack Hussein Obama’s picture on it?
And I bet comrade Laughing Gasbag sings the following before going to bed at night to dream of his savior Obamessiah:
The West is red, the sun is rising
America has brought forth Barack Obama.
He works for the people’s welfare.
Hurrah, He is the people’s great savior.
President Obama loves the people,
He is our guide,
To build a new US,
Hurrah, he leads us forward!
The Democratic Party is like the sun,
Wherever it shines, it is bright.
Wherever there is a Democratic Party,
Hurrah, there the people are liberated!
21 Darthmeister // May 23, 2009 at 4:17 am
Factcheck.org has a good analysis of Pelosi’s tortured denials.
So what else is new? Clearly she’s no different than any other Democrat lying scum. You see, Donks really don’t have a problem with Democrats lying since its their liars they are voting for. And when the record isn’t really clear, they simply use their own opinions as “facts” and claim everyone else but them and their own are lying … backed up by the sycophantic liberal journalists in the national socialist media of course.
For example, that’s precisely how the words of Demoncrat Jay Rockefeller about Hussein’s Iraq being an “imminent threat” were cleverly put in the mouths of Bush and Cheney by the national socialists who claim to be such “patriotic Americans” who never lie themselves! Keep in mind, Jay Rockerfeller had direct access to the CIA intelligence of that day along with other Demoncrats who sat on the Senate Intelligence Committee … which exposes another liberal lie that somehow the Bush Administration had “cherrypicked” the intelligence that the Senate Intelligence Committee was seeing.
And Liberal/Democrat morons today still complain about Bush and Cheney allegedly “lying” to America about Iraq being an “imminent threat” and “lying” about al Qaeda and the Iraq connection when indeed such connections did exist and have been cleverly denied by leftist bloggers, comrade trolls, Obamabots, left-wing fifth columnists within the CIA, and the national socialist media. Trolls like neverthink continue to live in their la la land of liberal lies, embracing a revisionist history conveniently perpetuated by the national socialist media and other influential Bush-haters and America-blamers. As one observant pundit put it, liberals are patriotic about an America which exists only in their own minds, the real America they blame for virtually every ill wind which exists in the world – hence their cognitive dissonance about their own country.
Clearly liberal Obamatons have no problem living in an Amerika that is increasingly becoming their velvet gulag of lies, half-truths, and an economic trainwreck of their own making.
22 Darthmeister // May 23, 2009 at 5:03 am
Think about it, if as the liar Nancy Pelosi claims the CIA “lied” to her and “lies to Congress all the time” and by extension probably lies to the executive branch on matters of national security, then the real liars haven’t really been Bush and Cheney but rather certain elements within the CIA who have a xenophobic view of the potential enemies of America. How do we know the CIA isn’t lying to messiah Obama right now? Oh wait, Obama is messiah and can spot a liar from ten miles away … even if the liar is himself but you can bet Obamessiah isn’t going public with that one! BTW, Obama’s laundry list of lies are documented here.
BTW, when it comes to the deaths of Americans, Obama the liar is also a part of the evil liberal cabal which infests America that is directly responsible for policies that have resulted in the silent murder of 46 million of the most innocent of Americans. Those who embrace Obama and the policies of the party which got him where he is today have the blood of those 46 million innocent Americans on their heads despite their denials and twisted, self-justifying rationalizations. They are no different than the German townspeople who lived next to the Nazi death camps and yet remained silent and in some cases remained willfully ignorant. At least the Nazis had the decency to locate their death camps . BTW, a little know fact is some of the abortion techniques used today in American abortion mills, like saline injection, were pioneered and perfected by the Nazi “doctors” in concentration camps.
The real truth about the liberals’ embrace of abortion history. There’s a reason why 78% of all abortion clinics in America are located in minority communities. As we know, Margret Sanger, the founder of Planned Abortionhood (euphemistically known as Planned Parenthood), was an unabashed racist despite the liberals’ whitewash of her real views on black Americans.
23 Darthmeister // May 23, 2009 at 5:07 am
Should have read: At least the Nazis had the decency to locate their death mills outside the city limits instead of near schools or downtown.
24 gafisher // May 23, 2009 at 6:39 am
Ms RightWing, Ink Re#18: It’s good to hear from you again! First of all, best wishes in your new endeavor; most of America’s strongest businesses were born of adversity — “when the going gets tough” and all that. If nothing else, times like these help thin out the competition, and if you can make it work when things are tight, you’ll do very well when the economy turns around — as it will!
When you’re ready to tell us about it, please do so!
wv – podiatry and – “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step” — and the will to take it!
25 gafisher // May 23, 2009 at 7:00 am
Darth Re#23, it wasn’t decency, it was efficiency — they were dealing with full-size bodies with the potential for defending themselves, tougher to dispose of afterward, and with only a small market for the harvested by-products — a few lampshades, wallets and so on, but nothing like the wholesale market today’s “population reduction specialists” are developing to monetize their handiwork.
26 gafisher // May 23, 2009 at 7:33 am
Countering allegations that “closing Guantanamo is like opening Pandora’s Box,” the Obama Administration is expected to announce tomorrow that it is in fact accelerating the planned decommissioning of the contentious detention facility. On July 1st, 2009, all Guantanamo detainees are scheduled to board well-guarded Naval vessels which will transport them on a roughly circular course of approximately 4,000 kilometers to an awaiting facility located near the western tip of the largest body of land in the Western Antilles, where they will be housed as guests in a residence center christened “?“.
No announcement has yet been released regarding the ultimate fate of the current facility but unnamed sources close to the administration suggest “those old wooden signs will make one %&!@# of a bonfire.”
27 Laughing@You // May 23, 2009 at 1:25 pm
Verily, I tell you, sometimes this place brings to mind some dark room where, when you turn on the light, rats, roaches, and other vermin scurry off in every direction.
Today is one of those days. Crouched over in the darkest corner squats an apparently sub-human creature with long dirty finger nails and a pointed nose dripping snot. He talks to himself constantly, saying all manor of vile things, while eating a raunchy hunk of dirty Repug cheese.
Periodically his mind seems to lock on some phrase or another, this time in his insane rant he repeats “Democrat lying scum” over and over again. He is such a tragic figure. It is sad, but there are several others hiding in the darkness, who are almost as bad. Together they form a group they call the “Con Servative”. A name which many take to mean “they who will not serve”.
They are a frightened group, too afraid to go out into the light, and terrified when true Christian believers enter the room on their missionary visits to these poor “Neo-Con NutJobs, a medical term found in the DSM-IV, together with the picture, of several of these creatures here.
Neo-Con NutJobism, appears to many of the true Christian believers to be a form of demonic manifestation.
Come out of Dartmeister now you foul and repugnant spirit of confusion, and falsehood! Come out, now I say!
Now, if you will form a line to my left, we will attempt to “deliver” you all.
Everthink?
28 Laughing@You // May 23, 2009 at 1:32 pm
manor=manner
29 emilia_suciu23 // May 24, 2009 at 2:00 pm
I wish president Obama would be president of Romania too: At the custom-house of Calafat ( in the south of Romania ), ferry-boat passengers are allowed to cross the Danube without getting out of their vehicles. It is true that accidents rarely happen, but this does not make it legal. Maybe fining them would solve this problem.
30 gafisher // May 24, 2009 at 2:29 pm
Re#27: “Crouched over in the darkest corner squats an apparently sub-human creature with long dirty finger nails and a pointed nose dripping snot. He talks to himself constantly, saying all manor of vile things …”
Cleaning the attic and found that forgotten old mirror, eh?
31 gafisher // May 24, 2009 at 9:19 pm
emilia Re#29: “I wish president Obama would be president of Romania …”
Millions of Americans share your wish.
32 Laughing@You // May 25, 2009 at 1:33 am
“Millions of Americans share your wish.”
It is true we have many mentally ill in America after long eight years of coping with arrogance and stupidity.
Thank goodness that is behind us now!
The American People have learned a great deal, and Republican Party is in severe decline. It can never happen again.
Perhaps the people of Romania will join us in our demand for war crimes prosecution.
Everthink?
33 Laughing@You // May 25, 2009 at 1:37 am
gafisher,
“Cleaning the attic and found that forgotten old mirror, eh?”
What witty rejoinder! I got a gift there goofy!
Everthink?
34 SGT USMC 1ea // May 25, 2009 at 7:17 pm
Mr. Ott always has the ability to put things into perspective. How can one truly fathom all of the moral relativism of the libs.
Speaking of relativism I see the trolls still have none. LAY is just a glutton for punishment. You are in charge now LAY- fix everything!
Tu autem effugare, diabole- appropinquabit enim judicium Dei.
Deus est Semper Fidelis
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