(2009-02-14) — President Barack Obama said today that “after a restless night’s sleep” he will veto the $787 billion economic stimulus package passed by Democrats in Congress on Friday.
“I had a dream,” said a visibly shaken Mr. Obama. “that my daughters, Sasha and Malia, were trapped under the 1,100-page legislation. In the dream I saw my girls as women in their forties and they were still paying for this. I woke up, and did the math, and realized that it wasn’t just a dream. Has anybody read this thing yet?”
The president said he “never really cared about the stimulus anyway” and that he “just wanted Nancy to shut up and Harry to go away,” referring to House Speaker Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Reid.
“As I’ve noted before,” the president said, “I inherited this economic mess from the Bush-Pelosi-Reid era. I don’t know how to fix it. No one does. But Nancy just kept harping on me, and Harry sits there like a basset hound. I figured if we got this bill out of the way quickly, I could go back to uniting the country, and doing new politics, and healing historic wounds and stuff.”
Asked how his fellow Democrats would take this apparent betrayal of the liberal cause, Mr. Obama said, “Frankly, I don’t give a rip. I do know that I need to sleep at night, and if I sign this bill that won’t be possible. I’ve already called the governor of Illinois to see if there’s any chance I could buy my old Senate seat back.”
18 responses so far ↓
1 Newsman // Feb 14, 2009 at 9:46 pm
BINGO !
2 NeaL // Feb 14, 2009 at 9:53 pm
I guess everyone else has already seen these screen-caps of Obama’s senate seat on eBay?
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3021/3097265339_a9396af9ef_o.jpg
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3180/3097265387_3d0bed6d98_o.jpg
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3284/3098105330_0a2dfa6eef_o.jpg
3 baragirl // Feb 14, 2009 at 9:53 pm
Oh, wouldn’t it be loverly?
4 onlineanalyst // Feb 14, 2009 at 9:56 pm
That works for me. Otherwise, I will have to work myself into the grave to pay off every piece of pork in this travesty.
Oh, is that where the expression comes from? Death and taxes
5 Newsman // Feb 14, 2009 at 10:27 pm
And Dr Finkle has told the Obama team that 6.5 billion is not sufficient to carry Arlen thru to his next election and the stimulus bill needs to be rewritten to up that Cancer Reserach figure to at least 20 billion !
6 baragirl // Feb 14, 2009 at 10:43 pm
Or as Chuckie Shumer says ,those little tiny porkie pieces that Real Americans don’t care about ,only little people.
I think Chuckie is a greedy little tiny Porky Pig and I sincerely hope he gets everything he has coming to him.
7 Darthmeister // Feb 15, 2009 at 1:03 am
I’m having a nightmare.
The Nation’s Most Romantic Couple on Valentines Day
8 Fred Sinclair // Feb 15, 2009 at 3:17 am
There are examples in the Bible of people having dreams that brought about life changes. Oh, that this could be another one.
What messes with my head is HR-45, going for 100% gun control; registration and confiscation. They may go for this biggie, knowing it will be defeated but coming back again and again with slightly lesser anti-gun bills until inch by inch they gain total control.
I’m very concerned about the turn of events since the inauguration.
1.) A stealth Health Care Program in the “stimulus” package which has received no real discussion in the House, Senate or the press.
2.) A President who has halted judicial activities against our enemies, the ones who brought down the twin towers and killed Americans here and in Iraq.
3.) A man who is bringing the entire census program into the White House to be under control of Rahm Emanuel.
4.)And now, of greatest importance, we find that, among other things, the stimulus bill was acting as a decoy so that HR 45, a total gun control act, was being introduced in the House, and has now actually been sent to committee!
This is all truly a matter of serious concern To Americans who want to remain Citizens and not become Subjects of a usurper!
State by state we will have to join forces with New Hampshire, Oklahoma and a half dozen other states (so far, as more and more are being added to those states who are ready to emulate the founding founders of this Country).
The Spirit of 1776, only squared.
9 JamesonLewis3rd // Feb 15, 2009 at 6:48 am
The dream that BHO had was a vision of himself striking a pose before a glowing backdrop for eight years and allowing his obsequious minions to glorify him while allowing the worldwide masses to adulate him.
Heh.
It’d be nice if he’d wake up to the reality that the Democrat party of Leftists is making a mockery of the USA and is about to destroy that which Americans worked over two hundred years to build.
I’m praying that this presidential-initiation period is BHO’s “Road to Damascus.”
10 gafisher // Feb 15, 2009 at 8:08 am
Giving credit (pardon the expression) where credit is due, I have to commend President Obama on one point. Everyone, at least in the upper Midwest, recalls the many times during the campaign last year when reference was made to a particular economic problem which Mitt Romney promised to solve, Fred Thompson addressed, and John McCain at least acknowledged. Thanks to Obama and Congressional Democrats, that problem has been eliminated, and Michigan’s economy can no longer be described as “a one-state recession.”
11 Separate, But Unequal « Justbkuz // Feb 15, 2009 at 11:35 am
[...] Who’s running the legislative show in Washington? Possible answer here. [...]
12 gafisher // Feb 15, 2009 at 11:57 am
>> “In the dream I saw my girls as women in their forties and they were still paying for this.”
In Obama’s dreams his daughters get thrones of their own as his regency expands.
13 Big Java // Feb 15, 2009 at 1:48 pm
I am fairly sure “the one” is not at all worried about his girls having to help pay for the porkulous bill; after all, they will be good democrats and as we have seen, dims do NOT pay taxes, right Tom, Caroline, et al…
14 R.A.M. // Feb 15, 2009 at 8:21 pm
Sadly, this story would only be true if Obama cared about anyone, (including his daughters), as much as he does about himself!
I know it is hard to believe ANYONE would not care about and cherish their children, but NEVER forget, Obama wants uncontested abortion on demand.
Also, OBOMBA’s terrorist friends, ( that he had to address first, BEFORE the American people), love their children so much that they strap bombs to them!
15 Stones Cry Out - If they keep silent… » Stimulus Round-up // Feb 16, 2009 at 12:20 pm
[...] finally, satirist Scott Ott engages in some wishful thinking: President Barack Obama said today that “after a restless night’s sleep†he will veto the [...]
16 gafisher // Feb 16, 2009 at 8:12 pm
Re#14: “… NEVER forget, Obama wants uncontested abortion on demand.”
His Part wants that; Obama goes beyond and has thrown his support behind infanticide.
×œ× × ×©×›×—
17 gafisher // Feb 16, 2009 at 8:14 pm
Also his Party …
18 Neumatikos » Yesterday’s // Feb 18, 2009 at 9:02 am
[...] had a dream. [...]
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