(2008-08-11) — Former Democrat presidential candidate John Edwards, just days after confirming a National Enquirer story about an adulterous affair with amateur filmmaker Rielle Hunter, today acknowledged the truth of another supermarket tabloid report.
In an exclusive interview with ABC News, Mr. Edwards confessed that stories and photos in the Weekly World News were accurate, despite his previous denials.
“I have, in fact, met on more than one occasion with a large-headed alien from another planet,” said Mr. Edwards. “The pictures in the Weekly World News are real.”
Mr. Edwards, who had harbored hopes of being Barack Obama’s running mate, denied allegations that he has “fathered an alien love child,” but said the extraterrestrial emissary was “quite supportive of my White House bid.”
“I’m willing to undergo a paternity test if we can secure a DNA sample from the alien…if, indeed, they have DNA,” he added.
Although the former North Carolina senator took responsibility for his secret encounters, he also indicated that there was little he could do to prevent what happened.
“As anyone who has ever walked through a supermarket checkout knows,” he said, “This is all playing out just as Nostradamus predicted it would. I could no more resist fulfilling the prophesy than I could rebuff the advances of that woman, Ms. Hunter.”
24 responses so far ↓
1 John Edwards Confirms 2nd Tabloid Report // Aug 11, 2008 at 5:50 pm
[...] unknown wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptIn an exclusive interview with ABC News, Mr. Edwards confessed that stories and photos in the Weekly World News were accurate, despite his previous denials. “I have, in fact, met on more than one occasion with a large-headed alien from … [...]
2 Tinman // Aug 11, 2008 at 6:03 pm
“another supermarket tabloid report.
ABC News”
Love it.
3 Just Ranting // Aug 11, 2008 at 6:10 pm
Yoda and John Edwards,
Sittin’ in a tree,
K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
First comes lust, then comes lies,
Next career, “Do you want some fries?”
4 Ms RightWing, Ink // Aug 11, 2008 at 6:26 pm
Tin foil hats for sale. See me at the Denver convention. My booth has a picture of Michael Jackson arm wrestling John Edwards for a bottle of Breck
5 Fred Sinclair // Aug 11, 2008 at 6:38 pm
Hoo-boy! Prayer sure works! Now any good liberal worth his salt would deny that fact with his claim it’s “just a coincidence”.
Now, I don’t tolerate “coincidence” and find their rejection of God ironic, since it takes considerably more faith to be an atheist, agnostic or phony bologna “Christian” than it does to, with childlike faith simply accept Jesus.
Anyway, after getting a plethora (I knew I’d get a chance to use that word someday) of e-mails affirming that my request for prayer was being fulfilled as so many of you committed to praying for me – I set out for my Doctor’s appointment. She (Margo Duncan, M.D.) checked the situation and we entered into negotiations – no hospital!!! Thanks guys and gals.
She’s going to get me a do-nut (doughnut?) to sit on half the time (anyway a large inflatable ring, OK?) and she’ll have the in-home nurses add in treating the pressure sores on their visits (1 nurse each day). So all is going well and thanks again for your prayers. God is good.
ON TOPIC: So the Breck Girl fessed up. I’ve done more than a few things myself that I wouldn’t want to see plastered all over the front of the Enquirer – my heart goes out to the little guy since know it couldn’t have been his fault. It must have been part of The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy to embarrass him – that’s it! It’s Bush’s fault! I knew I could figure it out. If Mr. Monk can do it (I learn a lot from Adrian) then, I can do it! Easy as falling off a log.
IN GOD WE TRUST
6 Libby Gone // Aug 11, 2008 at 6:38 pm
Foremost,
Great work Scott!
Now a tale of two eyes.
Looking at the picture one can see a thousand words.
President Bush looks PRESIDENTIAL, a MAN who understands ramifications. He is doing his job. I revere him for this one stance.
Putin, despite my love for the people of Russia and their accomplishments, is a A PUKE!
Look at that lil weasel, wanna be SCHTEELlin(Stalin).
WAR.
Gird yourselves Americans, I fear the worst.
I hope I am wrong.
7 Libby Gone // Aug 11, 2008 at 6:46 pm
“President Bush warned Mr Putin of his ‘grave concern’ about the ‘disproportionate’ military intervention at a face-to-face meeting in Beijing yesterday.”
John Edwards and Paris Hilton consumed enough time.
Things to Come……..
8 mindknumbed kid // Aug 11, 2008 at 7:22 pm
Yes ladies and gentlemen, the world continues to conform to its age old image, Russians acting like Russians and Demmies acting like Demmies. No real story here, just more disstression for sanity and peace loving occupants.
If it is in the Weekly World News it is as good as gossiple to me. I’m still looking for a follow up on the story of the kitten that lives in a fishbowl with a goldfish from maybe 15-ish years back, I suppose no news source is always on top of everything like the public would wish them to be,but I’ve been concerned because as the feline grew I was convinced that there would not be sufficient “elbow room” for them. Did the cramped conditions lead the poor ampheline to devour his friend, or was there an intervention made by concerned individuals to provide a larger more comfortable home? Googling has not turned up anything about it, it makes me sad to not know their fate…
9 gafisher // Aug 11, 2008 at 7:57 pm
I doubt Edwards’ reported collusion with an alien would hurt him politically given Obama’s and McCain’s pro-alien stance.
10 mindknumbed kid // Aug 11, 2008 at 8:08 pm
Speaking of alien beings, good heavens;I am afraid it is back…
11 camojack // Aug 11, 2008 at 8:26 pm
I knew there was something familiar about little Johnny Edwards…he’s Bat Boy, a11 grown up!
12 gafisher // Aug 11, 2008 at 8:31 pm
Libby Gone Re#6&7: People are overreacting. Russia’s, er, repatriation in Georgia is no more significant than, say, Germany’s liberation of Sudatenland in ‘38. We ought to send Jimmy Carter to secure “peace in our time.”
13 mindknumbed kid // Aug 11, 2008 at 9:20 pm
I want the folks down Georgia way to know that if they need help with them Rooskies that they just need give me a shout, I’ve got kin down there!
MKK
14 mig // Aug 11, 2008 at 9:34 pm
Didn’t Hitler go in and divide Poland in two and take it’s seaports. Obama is a Neville Chamberlain.
Well, to bad John Edwards doesn’t live in a bubble. His young daughters now for sure have a stigma if they didn’t before.
But doesn’t this just make the democrate convention a must see TV event. I just can’t wait. The only thing missing is Jimmah Cawtah. Yee Haw y’all.
recaptcha : Italy Alive… The Italian gov’t recently deployed 3000 armed troops in – ITALY! Whats up with that?
15 Libby Gone // Aug 11, 2008 at 10:45 pm
Putin= Stalin.
Alexander Solzhenitsyn dies aged 89.
Conscience defined and lost.
WAR.
John Cabal where are you?
I think He is in America.
16 RedPepper // Aug 11, 2008 at 11:12 pm
gafisher #9: “ … hurt him politically … â€? No way, ga ! His “contacts†with extraterrestrials can only be seen as a resumé enhancement. We must demonstrate that we are willing to meet with these, er, “people†anytime, anywhere, without pre-conditions ! Accept the reality that different cultures have different ways of doing things … especially alien cultures.
Those anal probes, for instance … just their way to say “hello.†No biggie …
17 gafisher // Aug 12, 2008 at 9:13 am
Mig Re#14: “Well, too bad John Edwards doesn’t live in a bubble.”
Not a bubble, exactly, but he does a lot of commuting between the two Americas. (In light of the current story, maybe now he’ll start talking about “two universes.”)
wv – Fenno apartments – Hourly rates available.
18 conserve-a-tip // Aug 12, 2008 at 9:48 am
Good morning all. Sorry I’ve been away, but had a minor catastrophe on the home front. We had the mistaken impression that if one doesn’t live near a river, a creek, a pond, a lake or any other entity that might be construed as a body of water, that one – first – will not experience Katrina style flooding and – second – has no need of something called flood insurance.
Unfortunately, I must tell you that both assumptions are wrong. When the bottom falls out of the sky and 8-9 inches of rain pummels your house and land in under 3 hours, no body of water is needed to create a tidal wave from the street, down the driveway and into your home. The water level on the garage door shows 4″ of water rushing in under the closed door, which then rushed under the moulding and sheetrock into the house. Carpet is now torn up, furniture moved, soggy items tossed and backs need chiropracty. And on top of everything, the pounding rain made it through our brand new roof onto our ceiling. The roofers are on the way. I’m making up a saying that you can quote: “When it rains, it pours.”
BTW, I am viewing this as a blessing however! I am getting new carpet and a newly painted den. Not really the way that I planned it and hate that we have to pay for it without help from the insurance company, but heh, you get it however you can and you smile about it!
19 Fred Sinclair // Aug 12, 2008 at 10:28 am
c-a-t #18 – Reminds me in an oblique way of Mr. Monk where he carries a big container of smoke alarms to be inspected by the fire department.
Fireman (for 35 years) “30 smoke detectors, how many rooms do you have?”
Monk “5″
Fireman “I used to say ‘you can never be too careful’ – I’ll never say that again.”
Hi and good morning! sorry you had too much water. Never say never.
Boy Scout motto “Be Prepared” but if you buy flood insurance now it won’t happen again. If you don’t, it’ll happen over and over again.
IN GOD WE TRUST
20 gafisher // Aug 12, 2008 at 10:38 am
C-A-T Re#18: “When it rains, it pours.â€
I’ll salt that one away.
Sorry to hear of the flooding; those global-warming-induced droughts have been a real pain here too. (My hardware guy says it’s been a great year for drainage pump sales, though.)
21 gafisher // Aug 12, 2008 at 11:04 am
As bombs continued to explode overhead, terrified residents of the Republic of Georgia were relieved to hear this morning that Russia has ended hostilities. The Russian military is expected to receive its recall notice as soon as suitable passenger pigeons can be recruited and trained; meanwhile, one of three major oil pipelines which pass through the Republic has already been closed, at least temporarily.
In related news, beleaguered US taxpayers were relieved to hear House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s assurance that she will permit a vote on allowing domestic oilfields to be tapped, a measure expected to reduce the country’s dependence on unreliable foreign oil producers and war-zone pipelines. Pelosi’s statement, which echoes a similar promise she made just a day before shutting down debate on the issue (as well as lights and cameras in the House Chamber) includes the clarification that she would support such a proposal only if it included a provision to gut Strategic Oil Reserves and a prohibition on offshore, ANWR and other domestic drilling.
Coincidentally, the Speaker intends to call Congress back into session using Russia’s passenger pigeons “when they no longer need them.”
22 Fred Sinclair // Aug 12, 2008 at 11:07 am
Air Traffic Control down “South” in Atlanta, Georgia.
Atlanta ATC: “Atlanta Center to Saudi Air 911. You are cleared to land eastbound on runway 9R.”
Saudi Air: “Thank you Atlanta Center. Acknowledged, cleared to land on Infidel’s runway 9R. Allah be Praised.”
Atlanta ATC: “Atlanta Center to Iran Air 515. You are cleared to land westbound on runway 27L.”
Iran Air: “Thank you Atlanta Center. We are cleared to land on Infidel’s runway 27L. Allah is Great.”
Pause: STATIC………………….
Saudi Air: “ATLANTA CENTER – ATLANTA CENTER”
Atlanta ATC: “Go ahead Saudi Air 911.”
Saudi Air: “YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFT FOR THE SAME
RUNWAY GOING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS.
WE ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE. INSTRUCTIONS, PLEASE!”
Atlanta ATC: “Well bless your hearts and praise Jesus. Y’all be careful now and tell Allah “hey” for us — ya hear.”
IN GOD WE TRUST
23 Maggie // Aug 12, 2008 at 11:08 am
gafisher,
“When it pours, God reigns.”
24 mig // Aug 12, 2008 at 12:00 pm
Fred!! HAH… naughty. Tricky…
c.a.t. I am so sorry. That stinks!
Global warming temperatures here in the middle of summer in the south… 65* this morn. Sweltering temps.
Whats the topic? Oh yea. Edwards (groan) He waxes his chest.
I am surprised that the dems haven’t accused Karl Rove of setting Edwards up, of putting the two of them together knowing sparks would fly. Well, give it time. It will be a Rovian plot sooner or later.
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