(2008-05-07) — Sen. Hillary Clinton aborted her White House bid today blaming what she called a “vast mathematical conspiracy” that secretly works to keep women out of positions of power.
The former First Lady said she would return to the U.S. Senate and introduce legislation to help female presidential candidates “break through the math ceiling.”
Party insiders pressured her to pull out after Tuesday’s crushing defeat in the North Carolina primary and her surprisingly thin victory in Indiana.
“It’s beyond coincidence that Barack Obama has more votes, more delegates and more money than I do,” said a tearful Sen. Clinton at a news conference announcing her withdrawal from the race. “It would take a willing suspension of disbelief to think that I was forced out of this race because a majority of Democrats don’t want me to be president.”
“I’ve always heard that figures don’t lie,” she said, “but apparently they’ll do whatever it takes to crush the hopes and dreams of American women.”
40 responses so far ↓
1 JamesonLewis3rd // May 7, 2008 at 6:48 am
Gee, I wonder who the NYT is rooting for.
2 gafisher // May 7, 2008 at 7:44 am
For the Clintons, this race puts the numb back in numbers.
wv – disabling fumble – letting Bill campaign for her.
3 Libby Gone // May 7, 2008 at 7:59 am
In the words of an equally artificial blonde….
“Math is hard!!!”
4 RedPepper // May 7, 2008 at 8:00 am
Well, it’s about time !
What I’d like to know is, when will John McCain abandon his futile quest for the oval office ? Then we can have the coronation and finally be done with this wretched, endless, mindless “election” !
I tell ya, it’s gonna be great !
Yes, your majesty ! No, your majesty ! Tell us how low to go, your majesty ! Make some more decrees, your majesty ! Give us a kick if it please your majesty !
Give us a kick if you will, your majesty !
Oh !
That was good, your majesty !
5 camojack // May 7, 2008 at 8:06 am
No, no, no!!! Hillary will never give in…unless and until she absolutely, positively has no choice.
I’m still rootin’ for the old
haggal…6 Ms RightWing, Ink // May 7, 2008 at 8:35 am
My math–a tird, a tird and a tird makes one Hillary. (Irish Math)
7 Ms RightWing, Ink // May 7, 2008 at 8:36 am
where?
8 boberinyetagain // May 7, 2008 at 8:51 am
I thought it was three “33 and a tird’s” that made a whole (hole?)
I’m confused, math really is hard….
chased or…not?
9 Libby Gone // May 7, 2008 at 8:59 am
Boberin,
(3) 33 1/3’s will net ya about 5 bucks down at Vinny’s Used Vinyl and Wax Cylinder!
10 Fred Sinclair // May 7, 2008 at 9:21 am
Hillary Quits, Blames ‘Vast Math Conspiracy’
Dear Mrs. Bill Clinton (aka HillBilly, Inc.);
Please don’t be silly. If you will just counsel with your church’s Leader; His Highly Exalted “Left Reverend Algore†– I’m confident that he will re-assure you that your problems are nothing but the natural ramifications of the spectre of ‘Manmade Global Warming’ just like the Burma cyclone the other day; the eruption of Mt St Helens in 1980 amd of course the 79AD eruption of Vesuvius which destroyed Pompeii & Herculaneum.
It’s all the same basic thing – however, Mrs. Bill Clinton you’re in luck, truly a fortunate “lady” (cough, cough).
You see, The people of Pompeii and Herculaneum, and the people around Mt St Helens were unable to buy offsetting ‘Carbon Credits’ like you can.
Seeing as how he was once was your Vice President, he is in the unique position of being able to make you a real deal on purchasing your needed ‘Carbon Credits’.
Which of course will solve all of your problems, garner for you the Democrat nomination and furthermore (if you buy enough ‘Credits’) you can be assured of winning the election in November.
Problem solved. “Manmade Global warming” is held at bay. Congratulations, Mrs. President!
With wax;
Heirborn Ranger
11 Pros and Cons » Hillary And Math // May 7, 2008 at 9:21 am
[...] Then, from Scrappleface: Hillary Quits, Blames ‘Vast Math Conspiracy’ [...]
12 JamesonLewis3rd // May 7, 2008 at 9:39 am
My favorite volcanic eruption is Krakatau (August 26 – 27, 1883):
Thank you
13 boberinyetagain // May 7, 2008 at 9:55 am
Libby, I humbly bow to you math prowess. You do your “gizinta’s” much better than me!
between mincher?…and a hard place?
14 da Bunny // May 7, 2008 at 10:47 am
Now, now, Hillary…don’t cry!! It’s just that the democrats are suffering from “Obamanism (the sudden craving for change)*.” It’s not you. It’s them.
*Hat tip to mindknumbedkid from the previous thread. Good one!
15 Fred Sinclair // May 7, 2008 at 11:22 am
JL 3rd #12 – Wiki relates this event as follows – very interesting:
The most literal meaning of blue moon is when the moon (not necessarily a full moon) appears to a casual observer to be unusually bluish, which is a rare event. The effect can be caused by smoke or dust particles in the atmosphere, as has happened after forest fires in Sweden and Canada in 1950 and, notably, after the eruption of Krakatoa in 1883, which caused the moon to appear blue for nearly two years.
Also from Wiki (and as I learned it)
Blue moon is also a name given to an extra full moon during a year. Most years have twelve full moons, which occur approximately monthly. However, each calendar year contains those twelve full lunar cycles plus about eleven days to spare. The extra days accumulate, so that every two or three years there is an extra full moon. On average, this happens once every 2.72 years, and different definitions place the extra moon at different times. The extra full moon is called a blue moon.
Heirborn Ranger
16 Hawkeye // May 7, 2008 at 11:41 am
“It would take a willing suspension of disbelief to think that I was forced out of this race because a majority of Democrats don’t want me to be president.â€
What a GREAT line Scott! I LOVE it!
payment aircraft — I could use a few of those flights.
17 boberinyetagain // May 7, 2008 at 11:47 am
I had heard that “blue moon” referred to the second full moon in one month…similar to Fred’s second explanation
tracts holidays….even land needs a break now and again
18 Fred Sinclair // May 7, 2008 at 12:14 pm
Well, here in Holland, MI, this time of year is the “Tulip Time” event. Since it’s raining now, it looks like the Famous “Tulip Time Parade” (where the Mayor join in the parade with a bucket of soapy water and broom for the ritualistic ’scrubbing’ of the streets), will be cancelled due to the rain.
It’s rare, in fact, but the Parade only gets ‘rained out’ once in “blue moon”, so the Parade will be held (local High School Bands – dancers in ‘wooden shoes’, etc.) on the next clear day.
Heirborn Ranger
19 Libby Gone // May 7, 2008 at 12:30 pm
Volcanos, earthquakes in “divers” places, potential famine, …..
birth pains?
20 boberinyetagain // May 7, 2008 at 12:52 pm
on a related note…
New York (CNN). At John F. Kennedy International Airport today, a Caucasian male (later discovered to be a high school mathematics teacher) was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor and a graphical calculator.
According to law enforcement officials, he is believed to have ties to the Al-Gebra network. He will be charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.
21 Ms RightWing, Ink // May 7, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Hillary has loaned herself 3 1/2 million dollars. How much more dishonest money has that grande dame got?
No wonder people die from Clintonites. Ha, if I had 3 1/2 million laying around to garner votes I would have no enemies–except those in the graveyard
Dead men don’t talk. Of course Ms RightWing is to nice to bump off people (but I will break their legs).
WV: had turmoil–but my cash cow settled it
22 Mack // May 7, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Good afternoon old friends. I had a chat with an old friend who not so subtly asked me to get back in here and joust with the troll folk again. Since my work schedule allows it I think I will, at least until the election. think first we’ll see how many of the old timers are still here.
Maybe the same troll of many names will come back at the mere mention of my name. This used to be fun. Now it’s a challenge having little to debate about among the candidates.
23 Fred Sinclair // May 7, 2008 at 2:33 pm
MRW,I #21 “…..–except those in the graveyard” Really? I thought that’s where she got most of her votes. Without her faithful ‘graveyard voters’ I doubt that she would even be a Senator, let alone a potential contender for the Presidency.
Heirborn Ranger
24 Fred Sinclair // May 7, 2008 at 4:04 pm
Rush is continually lamenting the absence of leadership in Washington and he’s correct, there are some ‘nice folks’ in the beltway, (plus way too many liberals). There are however no real leaders.
I’ve been reading a lot about Jim Inhofe (R) Senator from Oklahoma and his record shows him to be the most conservative Senator in Congress. If we can pick up a couple of seats in the Senate this November, he will be the Chairman of the Armed Services Committee (no small role). His leadership in fighting for a sealed border. relocating illegal aliens back to their country of origin, his overwhelming support of our military (he’s pushing for a fair (3.9%) pay raise for them. His leadership in restructuring the politics of Oklahoma is legend., etc.,etc.
I believe that, hopefully, in 2012 he should run for President. I don’t have the finances to contribute to him but he is daily in my prayers. He is easily a Ronald Reagan sort of leader. and after 4 years of our RINO John McCain, I think America will be aching for a true conservative leader.
Heirborn Ranger
25 everthink // May 7, 2008 at 7:57 pm
“Your comment is awaiting moderation.”
OK, OK, lets’ see if this goes.
“Now, now, Hillary…don’t cry!! It’s just that the democrats are suffering from “Obamanism (the sudden craving for change)*.†It’s not you. It’s them.â€
“Democratsâ€? Have you seen Dumbyah’s. approval ratings?
“Sudden� What plant are you on?
The whole Repug Party is over.
How about McCain ~ Hillary “08, dittoheads?
Bahwahwahweeee!
26 Ms RightWing, Ink // May 7, 2008 at 8:03 pm
Rather quiet on the Scrapple Front tonight
27 RedPepper // May 7, 2008 at 8:31 pm
Ms RW: Just quietly taking stock, Ms RW …
Frankly, I’m of the opinion that we’re in [#&*!] trouble. Big time.
But, that’s just my opinion.
I could be seriously misunderestimating things …
28 mindknumbed kid // May 7, 2008 at 8:33 pm
Amazingly though, BO was unable ti “dig up” enough votes in Lake County, In to dethrone the Queen of sHrill-arity thanks to Operation Chaos’ operatives. The whole thing is so absurd, and it would be downright hilarious if one of the two wasn’t going to be the “D” representative in the coming election.
You still have got to wonder about anyone who is willing to spend stacks of their own personal cash to have such a poor return on their investment. Being “in” government must really distort your perspective on “earning” money. If my math is correct 8 years in the big chair will net you way less than 3.5 million dollars. Money don’t mean squat to them politicians….what’s up with the acts of embezzlement, if that’s the case?
29 mindknumbed kid // May 7, 2008 at 8:37 pm
RP – Wish I could say you’re wrong, but in IMHO you are correct.
30 Maggie // May 7, 2008 at 9:24 pm
Anyone remember “fuzzy math”?
31 prettyold // May 7, 2008 at 9:28 pm
MKK, That is funny, isn’t it , how much money BO and Hill are willing to spend for a job that really doesn’t pay that much.I guess it must be the benefits . How many Millions did Bill and Hill make after his term was up?
And of course ,no one is counting how much Soros is shelling out,he has to be paying all the Super Delegates who are selling out.
Then there are those wonderfully rich Moveon.Orgy folks ,who can cough up 45 Million in a week.Amazing!!
talks administration All we are allowed to do
32 da Bunny // May 7, 2008 at 9:28 pm
RedPepper #24…I’m with ya’ on the “big time” bit, as well. I don’t think you’re “misunderestimating” anything. Fact is, all of the problems we’re facing in this country today are the results of rampant liberalism and political correctness…and the “Neros” in Congress are “fiddling” while our society “burns.”
33 da Bunny // May 7, 2008 at 9:30 pm
Hi, Maggie!! Been wondering…did you participate in “Operation Chaos” yesterday?
34 Fred Sinclair // May 7, 2008 at 10:11 pm
IMPORTANT BREAKING NEWS!
China will no longer publish a phone directory due to chaos.
There are so many Wing and Wong’s in THE DIRECTORY, people were always wingin wong numbers.
(yeah, I know, that’s pretty bad, but so is: “Your comment is awaiting moderation.”)
Heirborn Ranger
35 mindknumbed kid // May 7, 2008 at 11:24 pm
Maggie – Everything I remember seems fuzzy these days…
36 MargeinMI // May 8, 2008 at 7:48 am
I, too, blame the Vast Math Conspiracy–on the state of my checkbook!
wv: revisiting 71–not if I can help it!
37 Fred Sinclair // May 8, 2008 at 8:09 am
mkk #26 – Your math is correct and you’re so correct, in that money doesn’t mean squat to them.
They have no interest in being the “servants” of their employers. But then it’s hard to blame them.
When Lee Iacocca would walk into a room – folks noticed. Today if Bill Gates walks into a room – folks notice. In America we don’t have royalty to bow and scrape or curtsey to.
So we (the people) have to invent our own. If we hire a maid, butler or chauffeur, we expect them to obey orders, but when we hire someone to some elevated position, we forget that they are actually nothing more than hirelings. We endow them with “Rock Star” adulation.
In turn they preen in the limelight and come to expect it as their due.
I’ve read of some of the language Mrs. Bill Clinton used when addressing her servants in the White House 99% of it unprintable. They are lavished with slobbering adulation by ‘the masses’ who hang on to their every word as if it were straight Gospel.
“Two ducks walked across the road.” and the fawning MSM carefully notes, “Two ducks walked across the road.” Wow, that must be deep ’cause I have no idea what he/she is talking about and it’s dutifully reported on the evening news “Today, xxxxx said “Two ducks walked across the road.” as if it’s a revelation straight from god.
So you’re 100% correct, it’s a poor return on their investment. But then so is an Armani suit or a bottle of Giorgio After Shave lotion. There’s not a Rolex in the case that will keep better time than my Timex.
It’s all about Power, Prestige, Position and the self-awareness that you’ve reached a pinnacle from which you can look down on everyone else.
That’s what their investment buys, not some lowly paycheck.
Heirborn Ranger
38 Possumtrot // May 8, 2008 at 9:20 am
So, we have the POW vs. the Manchurian Candidate.
Some of y’all know I live in that strange nether-world between movies and real life. Not to write an essay here about film as allegory; if you’ve ever seen the Sinatra/Harvey original or the Denzel Wasington remake of “The Manchurian Candidate”, you’re getting my reference.
Some of the pundits are already lining up to say Obama is “a weak candidate”. There will be commentary on both “The Manchurian Candidate” and “Keep the Change” at United Possums International as soon as I can recover from the latest round of chemotherapy.
In a [prescription and unwanted] drugged state, I keep thinking of two things: “Snoopy” Dukakis riding that M-1A1 Abrams tank, and Clark Gable saying what I’m feeling about politics at this point…”Frankly, m’dear, I don’t give a damn.”
You’ll get the government you deserve, and the best government money can buy.
39 Maggie // May 8, 2008 at 9:35 am
daBunny…re#32,
No, because I didn’t change my party affiliation and I had to vote straight Republican. Believe me, it was very difficult to push the McCain button.
My sister had a difficult time also.I almost can’t stand to hear or see him on TV.Sure hope he selects a great running mate (his only hope).AFAIC
btw…the poles were packed, long wait.
MKK..re#34,
Yes,I know what you mean…..funny :>)
40 Presenting the WordPress Plugin - Obammath » Heal Your Church WebSite // May 12, 2008 at 3:37 pm
[...] a card-carrying member of the the vast math conspiracy, and in light of Barack Hussein Obama, Jr.’s statement made in Beaverton Oregon last week [...]
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