(2007-02-11) — Wal-Mart and Home Depot stores in upstate New York report brisk sales of the new Global Warming Shovel which hit store shelves just in time for this week’s 9.5-foot snowfall.
The shovels, made of a rigid form of lightweight GORE-TEX®, are specifically designed to remove the kind of snow spawned by greenhouse gases in the atmosphere, “no matter how deep it gets,” according to the manufacturer.
Later this week, the company will also roll out its new Kyoto Mittens, “guaranteed to protect the wearer from the inconvenient truth of global warming-induced frostbite.”
32 responses so far ↓
1 Scott Ott // Feb 11, 2007 at 11:42 pm
Global Warming Shovel Hot Item in New York Stores…
by Scott Ott(2007-02-11) — Wal-Mart and Home Depot stores in upstate New York report brisk sales of the new Global Warming Shovel which hit store shelves just in time for this week’s 9.5-foot snowfall.The shovels, made of a rigid form of lightweigh…
2 nylecoj // Feb 11, 2007 at 11:55 pm
…..Kyoto mittens, “guaranteed to protect the wearer from the inconvenient truth of global warming-induced frostbite.â€
Don’t forget the climate change snow shoes.
3 nylecoj // Feb 12, 2007 at 12:01 am
…….Kyoto Mittens, “guaranteed to protect the wearer from the inconvenient truth of global warming-induced frostbite.”
Followed shortly by the CO2 emission snow shoes.
4 nylecoj // Feb 12, 2007 at 12:02 am
sorry, my computer was misbehaving
5 Rocky Mtn. Lioness // Feb 12, 2007 at 12:04 am
All that greenhouse effect snow will come in handy for they NYFD should this “Lightweight GoreTex®” ever meet up with an Inconvenient Toot!!!
[Helloooooo all my 'old' Scrapple Peeps. [aka: the Cat's Meow] I always know when the e-mail blurb alone about Scott’s newest Scrappleface contribution has me LOL–I must read the gem straightaway!(~;)]
6 CalGirl // Feb 12, 2007 at 12:36 am
I could have used the Global Warming Thermal Socks® hereabouts over the last couple of months, too…more days of frost this year than I remember in a looong time. :0
7 Ms RightWing, Ink // Feb 12, 2007 at 12:53 am
Oh my, the two western gals show up back to back. That is an sign of deep frozen global globuals to come. Good to hear from you both, especially you with your claws ready to shred Alygore.
We are basking in a warm 24 degrees tonight but there are frightful warnings of a fast chugging snow storm is heading for the buckeye
8 Old War Dogs // Feb 12, 2007 at 12:58 am
Bill’s Nibbles — 2007.02.11…
Some Bill’s Bites posts, some things I excerpted and linked but I’m sending you to the original post. I may rearrange the order of the items within this post as I add new things that I think belong above the…
9 Bill's Bites // Feb 12, 2007 at 12:58 am
Nibbles– 2007.02.11…
(Frequently updated, occasionally bumped) Slept late, spending a lot of time on a side project. Just read ‘em. Osama Hearts Obama Even Our Friends Should Butt Out Of Our Politics Global Warming Shovel Hot Item in New York Stores(2007-02-11) –…
10 Ghoti // Feb 12, 2007 at 1:21 am
Knowing our propensity to concentrate only on the most recent thread, please go back to the last one to read the message #88 from John Schaeffer (beekabok1).
John, my heart breaks for you, and I know we will all be praying for you and your young son as you deal with the tragedy of such a tremendous loss. May God’s light help to brighten the dark days ahead. Cling to your son, as he clings to you. You need each other more than ever before.
11 Ghoti // Feb 12, 2007 at 1:27 am
Push
12 sojourner // Feb 12, 2007 at 2:17 am
I’m sure glad that it’s New York’s turn to deal with this global warming snow. We’ve had more snow this winter on the front range of Colorado than we’ve ever had before. Thank goodness for global warming. We’d really be buried in snow without it.
I’m really looking forward to a global warming summer.
13 Harry Daschle // Feb 12, 2007 at 2:41 am
If you order now at the website, Walmart will include a free set of “snow blinders” that are gauranteed to not let you see anything other, than one side of this debate!
There is also a clearance on the Howard Dean and John Murtha “hot air” blowers.
14 MargeinMI // Feb 12, 2007 at 4:33 am
Ooohh a latenite thread. And missed friends stopping in. And such sadness. Thanks Ghoti for #10.
Good morning?
15 gafisher // Feb 12, 2007 at 5:15 am
Scoff if you will, you scoffers, but here in Sunny West Michigan, home of the Lake Effect and Riviera of the Midwest, we’ve found those shovels to be highly effective in the effort to bring the matter of global warming close to home. Why, one or two hours of clearing out the driveway and the reality of Global Warming, or at least Warming, has penetrated two layers of clothing, long underwear AND a heavy coat!
“Let there be Global Warming, and let it begin with me!” — Nanook
16 Rock Slatestone // Feb 12, 2007 at 7:10 am
Global Warming Shovels have been rigorously tested in Washington DC. Works great when cleaning up after the barn animals too.
17 egospeak // Feb 12, 2007 at 7:32 am
“Kin I git me one of them thar Global Warmin Shovels here?”
John Kerry 9am today, local area Wal-Mart.
Oh wait a minute, John Kerry doesn’t shovel snow, that’s something only the little people do.
I wonder where John Edwards is going to get his Global Warming Shovel?
Regards,
18 Darthmeister // Feb 12, 2007 at 8:14 am
I think Global Warming cultists have been shoveling a lot lately.*
*Double entendre intended
19 Darthmeister // Feb 12, 2007 at 8:15 am
RMLioness, so good to hear from you again! Always a bright ray of sunlight.
20 Ms RightWing, Ink // Feb 12, 2007 at 8:21 am
Snow watch out for tomorrow but I don’t shovel snow here at The Plaza until it gets up to the 7th floor. One more day of steroids though and I may of made a parking lot full off igloos.
Day time come and I no longer bark at moon.
21 Big Java // Feb 12, 2007 at 8:43 am
Ok, guys, I told you so. Global warming has caused it to turn cold and snow, snow, snow. Out here in West Texas we are having one of the coldest winters in several years. It’s all my and my ‘99 Suburban’s fault.
I beg your forgiveness.
22 ref // Feb 12, 2007 at 8:56 am
Scott Ott’s Thoughts, “What Hot?”
23 PietyHill Press » Blog Archive » The US Didn’t Even Make the Top Ten // Feb 12, 2007 at 9:58 am
[...] Meanwhile, over at Scrappleface Scott Ott is reporting record sales of Global Warming Shovels and other must-have items for the seasonal thaw. [...]
24 Terry Cowgill » A Lot of Hot Air // Feb 12, 2007 at 10:59 am
[...] My favorite political satirist reports sales of Global Warming shovels are booming in Oswego County in the wake of the bitter cold and 100-inch snowfalls that have slammed the eastern shores of Lake Ontario. [...]
25 GnuCarSmell // Feb 12, 2007 at 1:14 pm
It’s clear now: Global Warming is the leading cause of hypothermia. DECLARE WOOL NOW!
26 Just Ranting // Feb 12, 2007 at 3:08 pm
“An Inconvenient Spoof”
27 Darthmeister // Feb 13, 2007 at 8:44 am
From Dinesh D’Souza’s address, Feb. 7, 2007:
The Iraqi insurgents are determined that a second major state fall into their hands, ideally to establish a Sunni model for the vast majority of Muslims in the world. And they’ve already said that if they get Iraq, their next targets will be Egypt and Saudi Arabia.
So my point is that for the foreseeable future, we’re dependent on Middle Eastern oil. Not only our economic welfare, but our basic security is at stake. In this sense, the Left is the enemy at home. What I mean is that the Left is doing work that the Iraqi insurgents need done but can’t do themselves. There’s absolutely no way Bin Laden could persuade America to withdraw from Iraq, but to his unbelievable good fortune, there is a huge powerful group in America lobbying for exactly that outcome. That’s my point.
In a sense, the Left and the radical Muslims, although they have completely opposite agendas; they want to live in two very different kinds of societies. The radical Muslims want Sharia, and the Left wants the permissive society; however, they share a common imperative: to defeat Bush in Iraq. The Left would like to hang Iraq, make it a millstone around Bush’s neck. And so, the Left and the radical Muslims are operating like the two prongs of a scissors. They don’t talk to each other. They don’t conspire. However, they work independently toward the same goal. In a way, the radical Muslims supply the terror and the Left invokes it and uses it to demoralize the American people, saying, “It’s just not worth it; let’s just move out of there.”
So, as conservatives – I will end on this note, perhaps. The Bush administration has been fighting – whether it knows it or not – two wars: There is a military war against an enemy abroad, and there is a political war against an enemy at home.
Like I’ve always said, the American left and Islamofascists are two strange bedfellows. Both must be defeated if America as we know it is to survive.
28 Darthmeister // Feb 13, 2007 at 12:31 pm
Through the 15 years of sound academic and scholarly research that has gone into this book, George Washington’s Sacred Fire supplies a thorough and historically accurate definition of deism and how it was impossible for Washington to have been a deist. The book addresses and critiques the evidence used by 20th century scholars to “prove†that Washington was a deist and produce extensive primary source documents, illustrations and quotes from Washington’s own papers and those of his closest colleagues and family that categorically refute this claim, clarifying why the faith of our founding father matters in 21st century America and beyond.
Now why would a book like this even be necessary except for the lying hyper-seculars who seek to revise history by turning virtually every American founder into some kind of quasi-Deist? This is precisely what my own database of founding quotes have led me to conclude, that there are people today willing to corrupt history and historical documents in order to forcefeed their warped view of history to unsuspecting American youths in government-funded re-education camps we call public schools.
29 Notafraid // Feb 13, 2007 at 2:22 pm
Nancy Pelosi to fly in a Piper Prieus!!
By: Notafraid
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-CA, has stated that she intends on flying in the new hybrid electric Prieus airplane! Showing her concern for the environment Mrs Pelosi announced that “This 2 seat plane can fly non-stop coast to coast for under $200.00â€. She also confirmed that her staff is placing a request in Washington for a small fleet of the planes in order to carry friends, staff, and luggage. When asked how long a flight from her district in California to Washington DC would take, Air Force officials stated that it would depend on whether or not there was any strong winds blowing that week.
30 Global-Tepiding? » Global Warming Skepticism Heats Up // Feb 13, 2007 at 2:23 pm
[...] ScrappleFace » Global Warming Shovel Hot Item in New York Stores Later this week, the company will also roll out its new Kyoto Mittens, “guaranteed to protect the wearer from the inconvenient truth of global warming-induced frostbite.†[...]
31 buddyhacker // Feb 16, 2007 at 7:35 am
If one is to actually do their part to help curb “global warming”; then one must get rid of any car they may own and have their utilities shut off, because other wise, you’re killing the planet; that leave plenty of resources for all those Marxists to travel to and froe on their G5’s to Davos and other gatherings of the party elite.
32 Inoperable Terran » Hip deep // Feb 16, 2007 at 9:10 am
[...] Scott Ott discovers New York’s hot new item. Posted by Ian S. in [...]
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