(2006-05-19) — Just hours after approving two amendments that would make English the “national language” of the U.S. without affecting any of the millions of government documents now printed in Spanish, the Senate today voted 58-39 to declare English “the official muffin of Congress.”
“With lots of nooks and crannies to hold the melted butter,” the new amendment reads, “the English muffin has come to symbolize the glory of the Congressional lawmaking process.”
While conservative critics noted that “the English muffin is not a muffin at all in the traditional sense,” a coalition of Democrats and progressive Republicans managed to push the measure through.
When asked what effect the amendments would have on President George Bush’s comprehensive immigration reform proposal, one unnamed Senate Republican said simply, “Toast. Rye toast.”
3 responses so far ↓
1 bRight & Early » First Cup 05.19.06 // May 19, 2006 at 8:01 am
[...] ScrappleFace (Scott Ott) Senate Votes English Official Muffin of Congress — ” “With lots of nooks and crannies to hold the melted butter,” the new amendment reads, “the English muffin has come to symbolize the glory of the Congressional lawmaking process.” ” [Hey, you've gotta have some fun on Friday's - Jim] blogiversary, english, immigration reform, john howard, voting Trackback URL:http://brightandearlyblog.com/2006/05/first-cup-051906/trackback/ [...]
2 California Conservative » Senate Votes English Official Muffin of Congress // May 19, 2006 at 1:55 pm
[...] Keeping a watchful for irony, Scott Ott seizes the opportunity for satire: [...]
3 Dean's World // May 20, 2006 at 11:49 pm
English To Be Made The Official U.S. Muffin
No word on whether Harry Reid has denounced this as racist yet:“With lots of nooks and crannies to hold the…
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