(2006-05-01) — In an another election-year effort to quell voter anger at rising gasoline prices, Republicans in the Senate today proposed to give each American an attractive tote bag.
Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist, R-TN, said the tote bag will come with the $100 check he offered last week to help 100 million Americans pay for a week’s worth of gasoline.
The Republican caucus overwhelmingly chose the “consolation prize concept” over two other proposals. One plan called for making the U.S. a loyal colony of Venezuela, the other would fund alternative energy research to tap the wind generated by conservatives fleeing the Republican party.
Next week, the Republican caucus may announce a bill to boost the prize package by including a year’s supply of Eskimo Pies as “a lovely parting gift.”
2 responses so far ↓
1 ZardozZ News & Satire // May 1, 2006 at 5:55 pm
Senators Quell Gas Price Anger with Tote Bag Offer
We suspect a full blown promotional campaign will follow complete with Sunday morning infomercials! Stay tuned… perhaps in addition to tote bags, you will also be able to get a free copy of the new “Laws! We don’t need no stinking laws” tee shirts…
2 all-encompassingly » scott ott is on a roll:: blog // May 5, 2006 at 9:14 am
[...] Senators Quell Gas Price Anger with Tote Bag Offer [...]
You must log in to post a comment.