Examiner Columnist Scott Ott, editor of the world’s leading family-friendly news satire site, ScrappleFace.com, announced Thursday he was “stepping away from my important journalistic endeavors at The Washington Examiner in order to spend more time with the man who has been the inspiration for so much of my work, President Obama.”

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The National Organization for Women on Monday called on CBS to yank a pro-life Super Bowl ad featuring former Florida Gators quarterback Tim Tebow, and it started a campaign to demand that authorities withdraw Tebow’s Heisman Trophy and pull his National Championship ring.

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With his health care agenda on the back burner in the wake of Republican Sen.-elect Scott Brown’s election in Massachusetts, President Obama plans to use Wednesday night’s State of the Union address to unveil sweeping employment-reform legislation that would provide a good job to every American regardless of his ability to work, and would prevent companies from declining to employ applicants who suffer pre-existing conditions like laziness, incompetence, or kleptomania.

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As voters in Massachusetts go to the polls today to decide who will complete the late Sen. Edward M. Kennedy’s unexpired term, President Obama declared that “anything less than a 20-point win by Scott Brown represents a resounding endorsement of my entire domestic and foreign policy agenda.”

“If Brown ends up with less than 60 percent, there’s gonna be a lot of sullen Republicans, moping around, hanging their heads,” said the president to a crowd of supporters that greeted him upon his return from stumping for Democrat Martha Coakley. “Such a thin margin against such a historically weak opponent would be tantamount to a crushing loss for Scott, and would signal a clear rejection of the GOP platform in general.

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ScrappleFace editor Scott Ott writes Tuesday and Friday satire columns at The Washington Examiner, online and in some 800,000 copies of the street edition. Browse the archive.

With just hours to go before Tuesday’s special Senate election in Massachusetts to fill the unexpired term of the late Edward M. Kennedy, Sen. Harry Reid said that Democratic candidate Martha Coakley would be “much more than just my 60th yes-man.”

“Sure, she’d be a rookie senator, who’s never functioned in a legislature, with no power, eager to please, inheriting the onus of the longest liberal dynasty in history,” said Reid, “but that doesn’t mean she’d be just a rubber stamp, or some kind of inert mass of protoplasm that responds predictably to the stimuli of her partisan overlords … no, not at all.”

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ScrappleFace editor Scott Ott writes Tuesday and Friday satire columns at The Washington Examiner, online and in some 800,000 copies of the street edition. Browse the archive.

Sen. Harry Reid, in an effort to increase the popularity of the imperiled health care reform bill, on Monday added a provision requiring insurance companies to pay 100 percent of the cost of treatments intended to lighten the skin of African-Americans.

The news came a day after the revelation that in 2008 Reid had said Sen. Barack Obama’s presidential chances were good thanks to his relatively pale pigment and lack of “Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one.”
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ScrappleFace editor Scott Ott writes Tuesday and Friday satire columns at The Washington Examiner, online and in some 800,000 copies of the street edition. Browse the archive.

Today, the White House said President Obama’s alleged failure to keep an oft-repeated campaign promise to televise high-level health care reform negotiations on C-Span was necessary to protect the “private health information of the participants” under so-called HIPAA privacy rules.

The Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996 prevents unauthorized disclosure of patients’ health information, according to White House press secretary Robert Gibbs, “and this reform debate has already had serious health consequences for several members of Congress.”

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ScrappleFace editor Scott Ott writes satire twice weekly — Tuesdays and Fridays — for The Washington Examiner. You can browse the archives here.

Just hours after Washington Redskins owner Daniel Snyder fired coach Jim Zorn, following a 4-12 season, an unnamed source in the team’s front office said, “The system worked.”

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In the wake of the attempted Christmas Day bombing of Northwest Airlines flight 253, President Obama, in a news conference from the Pacific White House in Hawaii, on Monday cautioned Americans to avoid “lashing out against folks in puffy underpants.”

Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, 23, the son of a wealthy Nigerian banker, faces charges of attempting to destroy an airliner by detonating a high explosive sewn into what the FBI described as “boxers or briefs … but clearly not adult incontinence undergarments.”

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ScrappleFace editor in chief Scott Ott writes a twice-weekly satire column for The Washington Examiner which appears online and in 800,000+ copies of the street edition. Browse the archives.

Silent Night (Sung by Scott & Stephanie Ott)
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O Holy Night (Sung by Scott Ott)
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