SCRIPT RIPPED FROM THE TELEPROMPTER OF SCOTT OTT

SCOTT OTT: It’s Monday, April 2nd, 2012, and this is news.

GOP presidential hopeful Ron Paul’s campaign spending amounts to more than $30 per vote and nearly a half million dollars per delegate: that according to Major Garrett, writing at NationalJournal.com. Mitt Romney has spent just over $16 per vote, and Newt Gingrich, nearly nine dollars. However, at second place in the delegate race, Rick Santorum spent just $4.56 cents per vote, with a cost per delegate of just $50 thousand dollars, a tenth of what Ron Paul spent.

A spokesman for the Paul campaign said the Texas Congressman will stay in the race, in an effort to bring the Republican party back to its fiscally-conservative roots, and to block big-spenders like Rick Santorum from getting the nomination.
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Congressman Paul Ryan and Mitt Romney’s campaign staff staged an April Fool’s Day prank on the GOP presidential frontrunner, convincing him he was about to speak to a crowd of supporters, but leading him into a virtually empty room.
Romney, confused at first, laughed when he realized they had led him into a room where Newt Gingrich was about to speak.

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The Muslim Brotherhood announced it would nominate a candidate for the Egyptian presidential elections, breaking a previous promise to stay out of the race. The move is an attempt to blunt the increasing popularity of an even more conservative Islamist, Azem Salah Abu Ismail. Compared to Abu Ismail, the Muslim Brotherhood is seen as moderate, relatively modern, and to committed free markets, and stable relations with the U.S. and Israel.
U.S. Secretary of State of Hillary Clinton praised the Muslim Brotherhood’s move in a letter she wrote to them in cuneiform, on a clay tablet with a bronze stylus.
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Taylor Swift won entertainer of the year at last night’s Academy of Country Music Awards. Blake Shelton and his wife Miranda Lambert captured top male and female vocalist honors, and Lambert also won album of the year. Scotty McCreery, the American Idol winner, snagged the best new artist award.

A White House spokesman congratulated the winners on behalf of the president, and marveled that the Country Music artists were able to achieve so much despite a crippling lack of funding from the National Endowment for the Arts.
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And finally today, Sarah Palin will go head to head in a ratings battle with Katie Couric this week as each plays guest host on a network morning show. Palin will take the helm at NBC’s Today show on Tuesday. Katie is guesting all week over at ABC’s Good Morning America. This morning Matt Lauer joked with Palin about whether she’s reading newspapers to prepare, a sly reference to a gotcha question Couric posed to Palin during her Vice Presidential run.

Experts say Palin may have an uphill climb to beat Couric, because Katie’s more experienced, and because most of Sarah Palin’s fans will be working.
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For PJ News Break, I’m Scott Ott. Click on PJTV dot com three times today, for your antidote to the obsolete media

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SCRIPT RIPPED FROM SCOTT OTT’S TELEPROMPTER FOR TODAY’S ‘PJ NEWS BREAK’

SCOTT OTT: It’s Wednesday, March 21st, 2012, and this is news.

A Dutch engineer, Jarno Smeets, this week posted a video to YouTube which appears to show that he accomplished what Leonardo DaVinci only dreamed of, flapping a pair of artificial wings to take flight.

The U.S. Department of Energy immediately announced a 700 million dollar grant to the young man to mass produce the personal flying contraption, helping to reduce U.S. dependence on fossil fuels.

First Lady Michelle Obama said the vigorous physical exertion required to operate the wings could help with her campaign to whip obesity, if the project ever gets off the ground.

The FAA said it would approve the wings for domestic flights if the manufacturer includes a variety of redundant, fail-safe instruments that would add roughly 370 pounds of weight.

Meanwhile the Department of Homeland Security called on citizens to report any sightings of unidentified flapping objects, and allocated 500 million dollars to a weapons system designed to shoot down wing-flapping terrorists.

The Environmental Protection Agency declared winged humans a new, and endangered species, making it unlawful to shoot them.

And an FCC spokesman, said if the bird-man video turns out to be a hoax, it would be a compelling argument for creating a new government entity to fact-check all internet content before it goes online.

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Mitt Romney beat Rick Santorum by 47 to 35 percent in a historically low-turnout Illinois primary yesterday, reaffirming Romney’s inevitability as the Republican party’s nominee.
Just hours later, former Florida Governor Jeb Bush said he’s endorsing Romney, after months of wrestling in his mind over who is the most principled Republican candidate. Bush said: “I know I risk offending some of the establishment by coming out for Romney this early in the process, but I have to go with my gut.”

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The White House yesterday tried to moderate enthusiastic remarks by Vice President Biden at a New Jersey fundraiser this week. In praising President Obama’s decision to raid Usama Bin Laden’s compound, Biden said:
“You can go back 500 years. You cannot find a more audacious plan. Never knowing for certain. We never had more than a 48% probability that he was there.”

Presidential spokesman Jay Carney said that while the president made an extraordinarily tough decision, if Bin Laden had not been at the compound in Pakistan, the U.S. still could have announced the Qaeda leader’s death, and claimed to have buried the body at sea.

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And finally today, the White House has now confirmed that presidential daughter Malia Obama is traveling with friends in Oaxaca, Mexico, and is unharmed, after a 7.6 magnitude Mexican earthquake raised concerns about Malia’s safety.

When asked if he thought it was unusual for such a young girl to vacation away from family, White House spokesman Jay Carney said, “Malia is 13. She isn’t vacationing. Her parents are.”
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For PJ News Break, I’m Scott Ott. Click on PJTV dot com three times today for your antidote to the obsolete media.

PJ News Breaks channel on YouTube

SCRIPT FOR TODAY’S PJ NEWS BREAK WITH SCOTT OTT, FRESHLY-RIPPED FROM HIS TELEPROMPTER

SCOTT OTT: It’s Monday, March 19th, 2012, and this is news.

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Mitt Romney completed his sweep of U.S. territorial islands by winning the Puerto Rico primary in a landslide on Sunday.
Tuesday, he’ll face off against his main opponent, Rick Santorum, in Barack Obama’s adopted home state of Illinois. Santorum on Sunday said America needs more than Romney’s self-proclaimed business management skills to turn around this economy.

Meanwhile, Romney introduced a new plan to downsize the United States, spinning off New York and California, reducing Congress to a nine-member board of directors, and replacing the Smithsonian Museum, the National Archives and NASA with ninety-nine cent iPad apps.

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President Obama this week will take a 5,000 mile two-day trip aboard Air Force One, visiting four states to tout his energy policy. According to TheDailyCaller.com, the trip will burn more than 25,000 gallons of jet fuel. A White House spokesman said the president HAD planned to make the trip using renewable wind power, but during a test run by the Secret Service, solar power unexpectedly melted the wax that held the wings together.

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Breaking a promise to halt development of long-range ballistic missiles, North Korea said it plans to go ahead with an April rocket launch intended to place a satellite into earth orbit. A spokesman for the communist dictatorship said the rocket is strictly for peaceful purposes, the first step in a planned North Korean Moon mission.

The government hopes to alleviate North Korea’s famine by harvesting the Moon’s abundant supply of edible cheese.

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Brian Lamb, the creator of C-Span will step down from his chief executive role in April, after 33 years of leading the cable channels that broadcast sessions of the U.S. House and Senate. A White House spokesman credited him with creating the reality TV genre. However, Lamb rejected the praise, saying, “Everyone knows C-Span broadcasts sessions of Congress.”

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And finally today, the Bangkok billionaire who created the caffeinated energy drink Red Bull died Saturday in Thailand. During a private funeral service, the late octogenarian, briefly jumped from the casket, greeted the guests, delivered his own eulogy, placed the casket in the hearse, and drove rapidly to the cemetery, before falling suddenly back into the casket just in time for burial.

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For PJ News Break, I’m Scott Ott. Click on PJTV dot com at least three times today for your antidote to the obsolete media.

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TelePrompTer SCRIPT FOR TODAY’S EPISODE OF PJ NEWS BREAK WITH SCOTT OTT

SCOTT OTT: It’s Friday, March 16, 2012, and this is news.

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President Obama mocked Republicans who resist government funding of so-called green energy technology, saying they must be ‘founding members of the Flat Earth Society’. He said they’re like former President Rutherford B. Hayes who reacted to an 1877 demonstration of the telephone by saying: “It’s a great idea, but who would ever want to use one?”

Turns out Obama’s anecdote is an urban legend. In fact President Hayes was delighted with Alexander Graham Bell’s new invention, and the Hayes White House was the first telephone service subscriber in Washington DC.

Obama has directed billions of dollars to fund green-energy projects and electric cars, but the White House still gets its power, heat and vehicle fuel from traditional carbon-based sources.

Despite Obama’s failure to adopt green technology, a spokesman said the president does NOT think the earth is flat — he knows that its round and that it rests on the shell of an enormous cosmic turtle.

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Vice President Joe Biden field tested a new Obama 2012 slogan, telling a group of United Autoworkers in Ohio that President Obama ‘promotes the private sector’, while Republicans ‘protect the privileged sector‘. A UAW spokesman said that campaign slogan holds deep meaning to union members grateful to the Obama administration for spending 80 billion taxpayer dollars to save their jobs, and for putting union members ahead of secured creditors in the bailout. GM and Chrysler still owe taxpayers more than $14 billion, but have notched record sales and profits, and paid union members large bonuses. During the last two election cycles, the UAW gave $3.8 million to Democrat candidates, and none to Republicans…precisely because Republicans protect the privileged sector, while Obama promotes the private sector.

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The Centers for Disease Control and the Department of Health and Human Services today launched a $54 million anti-smoking campaign featuring graphic images of the ravages of smoking-related disease. Only 20 percent of Americans still smoke, but cigarette tax dollars and court settlements provide about $44 billion to federal, state and local governments each year.

Asked why the government spends millions of dollars to tell people to stop using legal products that provide much-needed government revenue, a White House spokesman said, “If it weren’t for public service anti-smoking ads, how would kids ever hear about cigarettes?”

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Scientists have identified a new species of leopard frog in New York City.

The Environmental Protection Agency immediately declared the frog an endangered species, and said it would spend $157 million this year to maintain the frog’s habitat in its pristine natural condition by permanently evacuating New York City.

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And finally today, the Transportation Security Administration announced that starting Monday, it will allow airline passengers aged 75 and older to pass through security with shoes on and a even a light jacket. However, the TSA screeners will have to guess whether a passenger meets the age threshold.

A TSA spokesman said many employees are already trained to do so, having come from the traveling carnival industry.

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For PJ News Break, I’m Scott Ott. Click on PJTV dot com at least three times daily for your antidote to the obsolete media.

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TelePrompTer SCRIPT FOR TODAY’S EPISODE OF PJ NEWS BREAK WITH SCOTT OTT

SCOTT OTT: It’s Wednesday, March 13, 2012, and this is news.

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Despite a huge campaign-spending advantage, and a comfortable lead in the polls just days before the primaries, Mitt Romney came in third in both Alabama and Mississippi last night. Rick Santorum won both states. The race now moves to Puerto Rico, Louisiana, Missouri and Illinois.

Romney, who did not hold an election night rally, said he’s still confident that the delegate math favors his nomination, noting he picked up more delegates than Santorum, thanks to victories in Hawaii and American Samoa. These come on the heels of Romney victories in Guam, the Northern Marianas and the Virgin Islands.

‘Like a lot of American businessmen,’ Romney said, ‘I do well offshore.’

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An unnamed Republican National Committee source defended Romney, saying that the former Massachusetts governor is like the Chevy Volt — ‘Sure it’s expensive and it’s product of big government and crony capitalism,’ he said, ‘and granted, it does better when you keep it close to home — but it’s still the one that people think they ought to want.’

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Newt Gingrich finished a close second in both Alabama and Mississippi and says he’s taking the fight all the way to the convention in Tampa, despite having won only his home state and neighboring South Carolina after 25 contests.

Addressing rumors that one of his advisers is pushing a Santorum-Gingrich ticket, the former House speaker said he’s not ruling out anything, and he would challenge Vice President Joe Biden a series of seven, three-hour debates.

A Biden campaign spokesman said the vice president is not intimidated by Newt’s intelligence or skill, and has already offered to face him in a series of seven bouts of Angry Birds.

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Updated numbers from the Congressional Budget Office show that the Affordable Care Act, will cost nearly twice the CBO’s original estimate — jumping from $940 billion over 10 years, to $1.76 trillion, and will also generate more revenue for the federal government. The so-called ObamaCare law will result in more Americans moving to Medicaid, fewer participating in government-sponsored health care exchanges, and more employers and workers paying penalties for opting out, than the CBO had previously estimated.

A White House spokesman said the President is aware of rising cost and revenue projections, and he’s committed to making the law even more unpalatable, to generate additional penalty dollars from those who don’t want to participate.

‘The more unpopular we make it,’ he said, ‘the more affordable it becomes.’

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And finally today, Orlando-Sanford International Airport, one of America’s 30 busiest airports announced it would opt out of the Transportation Security Administration’s passenger screening system, providing its own security staff instead. This after persistent complaints to the TSA about unnecessary groping and strip searching.
For Florida visitors who enjoy TSA-style services, the White House said, there’s always Spring Break.

For PJ News Break, I’m Scott Ott. Click on PJT dot com throughout the day for your antidote to the obsolete media.

PJ News Break Channel on YouTube

SCRIPT FOR TODAY’S EPISODE OF PJ NEWS BREAK WITH SCOTT OTT

SCOTT OTT: It’s Monday, March 12th, 2012, and this is news.
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With gas prices at the pump shaping up to be a major campaign issue, President Obama, in his weekly video address, slammed Republicans for simplistically suggesting that more domestic oil drilling could reduce prices — as if, he said with a chuckle, there we’re some sort of magical supply and demand forces at work in the world.

The president said the reason they rely on what he called ‘bumper sticker’ energy plans — like ‘Drill, Baby, Drill’ — is because Republicans still live in a fantasy world where people are allowed to drive their own cars. Adding that, you can’t read a bumper sticker on a high-speed train.

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The president’s campaign launched a new ad attacking Sarah Palin for claiming Obama is trying to divide the country along racial and class lines. The video features a clip of the former Alaska Governor’s controversial remarks, then the narrator says ‘Sarah Palin claims the president is using divisive rhetoric, but what did you expect from a rich, white woman’?

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Over the weekend, Rick Santorum won the Kansas presidential caucuses and Mitt Romney picked up Wyoming and several U.S. territorial islands. Tuesday voters in Alabama and Mississippi will go to the polls to confound the mainstream media and crush the hopes of the Republican establishment. The latest polls show some 74 percent of likely Republican primary voters are lying to pollsters.

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The newspaper industry lost jobs faster than any other between 2007 and 2011. The New York Times, for example, recently lost its CEO, who hit the streets with nothing but her $24 million severance package. The Times has been a vigorous advocate of President Obama’s stimulus plans, and of the Occupy Wall Street movement.

Given the size of the CEO’s golden parachute, Times Chairman Arthur Sulzberger, said he wouldn’t blame the Occupy protestors if they camped out in front of the New York Times’ headquarters. However, he noted that a mob of smelly hippies, shouting anti-capitalist slogans and defecating on cop cars at that location would be somewhat redundant.

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And finally today, Iran’s official news agency said the Islamic regime has 11,000 missiles ready to launch at Israel and U.S. interests. The government-sanctioned news source said Iran would have many more missiles as soon as it’s done upgrading to the new version of Adobe PhotoShop.
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For PJ News Break, I’m Scott Ott. Click on PJTV dot com throughout the day for your antidote to the obsolete media.

PJ News Break Channel on YouTube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Atq5qh4TxDQ

SCRIPT FOR TODAY’S PJ NEWS BREAK WITH SCOTT OTT

SCOTT OTT: It’s Wednesday, March 7th, 2012, and this is news.

Rick Santorum won yesterday in North Dakota, Oklahoma, and Tennessee; while Mitt Romney captured six states, including Ohio, where despite outspending Santorum by a wide margin, Romney only managed to eke out a one-point victory.
At a Super Tuesday rally last night in his home state of Massachusetts, a crowd of Romney supporters said: Yea.
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Newt Gingrich won handsomely in his home state of Georgia, reviving his moribund campaign. The former speaker of the house, and his wife Calista, are currently shopping for another home state.

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Forty-three percent of Oklahoma Democrat primary voters yesterday said they want someone other than Barack Obama as their party’s presidential nominee. The president said he wasn’t aware of his political weakness in Oklahoma, nor that the territory had already been officially welcomed into the union.

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16-year veteran House member Dennis Kucinich lost his Ohio primary last night to progressive rival Representative Marcy Kaptur, who now faces a November matchup against Republican Joe Wurzelbacher, better known as Joe the Plumber.
Kucinich fell victim to gerrymandering when the Ohio state legislature re-drew the boundaries of his Congressional district to exclude many of the planets in his star system.

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Apple unveiled the latest version of its market-dominating iPad today. The device is better, faster and more beautiful than the iPad 2, but costs about the same as the old one. Nevertheless technology critics are disappointed that the new iPad can neither project a three-dimensional hologram, nor even cook a bowl of ramen noodles in less that 30 seconds. Said one tech pundit, it’s just another in a long line of disappointing Apple products that can’t do anything but generate massive profits and cash reserves.

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And finally today, Chrysler announced a recall of 210,000 Jeep Liberty vehicles made between 2003 and 2005, and sold in northern states, because road salt could dangerously corrode the rear suspension.
The former American automaker, which was sold to Fiat and the autoworkers union by the Obama administration, assured the affected Jeep owners that they would eventually get their Liberty back.

For PJ News Break, I’m Scott Ott. Click on PJTV dot com throughout the day for your antidote to the obsolete media.

PJ News Break Channel on YouTube